My brilliiance knows NO bounds...
To commemorate the opening of The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, Burger King has images of the ubiquitious yellow rectangle all over their menus and windows.
This is unfortunate, as it allowed me to finally decipher exactly what the hell was going on.
I have solved the ancient mystery of just what the fuck this show is about!
Allow me to enlighten you.
This is a picture of Sponge and his 'buddies'.
From left to right, you have Sandy the Squirrel, Spongebob himself, Squidward (who will remain unmentioned for the remainder of this entry as he is insignificant to this discourse) and Patrick the Starfish.
They all live in a place called Bikini Bottom.
Now...what types of things might exist in the bottom of a bikini?
Let's see...
Sandy looks suspiciously like a beaver.
Patrick is a starfish. He couldn't be more blatantly an anus if they drew particles of shit on him.
And Spongebob is, of course, a fucking contraceptive!
Hi. Picture me yellow and square. And ugly.
He lives in a pineapple people! Do you know what a pineapple looks EXACTLY like if you cut it half vertically?
We peddle this shit to our kids?
A show about birth control, pussies and asses. On Nickolodeon no less.
Life was so much simpler when all they had to do was dump green goo on somebody's head.
This is unfortunate, as it allowed me to finally decipher exactly what the hell was going on.
I have solved the ancient mystery of just what the fuck this show is about!
Allow me to enlighten you.
This is a picture of Sponge and his 'buddies'.
From left to right, you have Sandy the Squirrel, Spongebob himself, Squidward (who will remain unmentioned for the remainder of this entry as he is insignificant to this discourse) and Patrick the Starfish.
They all live in a place called Bikini Bottom.
Now...what types of things might exist in the bottom of a bikini?
Let's see...
Sandy looks suspiciously like a beaver.
Patrick is a starfish. He couldn't be more blatantly an anus if they drew particles of shit on him.
And Spongebob is, of course, a fucking contraceptive!
Hi. Picture me yellow and square. And ugly.
He lives in a pineapple people! Do you know what a pineapple looks EXACTLY like if you cut it half vertically?
We peddle this shit to our kids?
A show about birth control, pussies and asses. On Nickolodeon no less.
Life was so much simpler when all they had to do was dump green goo on somebody's head.