[Fanfiction] International Inc.
Title: International Inc.
Author/Artist: Me!
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Many, many parings
Rating: M
Warnings: Sexual situations and occasional language (mainly that's just so I don't have to limit myself later on)
Summary: Set in a paper supplier's branch in Seattle, employees have to deal with their eccentric boss and their own strange personalities. Hetalia/Office
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Upon entering the office, it actually looked like everyone was working diligently. But, once one began to observe the room it was obvious hardly anyone was focused on their assigned job. At a desk near the receptionists, a tall scary white-blonde haired man was whittling, with a knife, at his desk while carefully sweeping the wood shavings into the trashcan at set intervals. The almost invisible blonde sitting across from him was just staring, in shock, as if he couldn’t believe someone would be whittling at work. Further down were a set of empty desks, their owners standing next to the water cooler laughing and loudly whispering adult topics and bad-taste jokes. The three men, one golden blonde that looked like a model, an albino, and a smiling Hispanic man were obviously annoying the man at the nearby desk who was glaring at them through his huge eyebrows. Although, it wasn’t guaranteed that once they left the irritated man would work, he had a Harry Potter book poorly concealed on his lap. Next to the bushy-browed man was a cold platinum blonde with steely eyes working diligently. A nervous pale-brunette stood next to her, his hands shaking as he tried to flirt with the woman. She simply nodded at the right times and occasionally asked him to leave. In a back room, a small teenage who bared a scary resemblance to the large eyebrow man peeked through blinds as his friend worked on fixing a computer. In another separate room, a blonde man with glasses could be seen doing his work efficiently and quietly, although he was occasionally interrupted by a phone call, which he answered with clear distaste.
Walking up to the well endowed receptionist, the messy looking man asked in a stuttering voice,
“May I see Al, er Mr. Jones? He said he’d be available now.”
The pretty receptionist smiled, and picked up her phone to ask the boss. The ringing of the phone could be heard through the boss’s wall, and you could see the grown man playing on his DS as he reached for the phone as well. Smiling and nodding, the receptionist told the man with the large duffle bag that Mr. Jones could see him now. Hastily saving his game, the boss shoved his DS in a desk drawer as the man walked in.
“Hey, John! Did you bring the camera like you said?”
Mr. Jones got up from behind his desk to give his friend a bear hug, and Dan couldn’t help but hug back. Mr. Jones just had that kind of effect on people.
“Yeah, I did. Although Al, I’ll admit. It’s a bit weird seeing you in charge of all these people. You’re kind of…”
Dan trailed off, not wanting to insult his new employer. But, his friend Al just didn’t fit the description for any kind of office job, much less the boring boss. He was tall, young, tanned, with blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes behind a pair of high prescription glasses. Al smiled and said cheerfully,
“When this branch opened I was the candidate for the CEO and they wanted to test my skills. But I like it here too much to go to corporate anyways.”
Dan nodded, and began to get down to business by sitting at the chair in front of Al’s desk and asking,
“You guys ready for me to start shooting?”
“Yeah!”
Al said triumphantly, smiling like he had won the lottery or something greater.
“So, you have all the forms signed?”
Al’s face turned confused and Dan knew that Al hadn’t really researched or looked into his offer at all. Sighing, Dan tried to explain,
“If I film your office for television or a documentary, I need signed papers from everyone saying it’s okay. It’s the law.”
Al nodded and explained his own thought process with gusto,
“I figured since everyone loved TV so much, they wouldn’t mind being filmed once you came!”
Dan felt his one job opportunity crumble and was faced with explaining reality to an optimistic Alfred Jones.
Even though there was no way he would be able to shoot, Al hadn’t even asked his employees yet, Dan allowed himself to be introduced to every member of the branch.
At the receptionist desk was Katyusha, or Kat for short. She was just averagely pretty, but a man quickly forgot about that once they saw how God had decided to gift the woman in the size of her breast. The sales department consisted of Al’s Canadian cousin Matt, a quiet man that was easily forgotten, Ivan, a scary Russian that had a strange friendship with Al, Toris, a nervous looking man with brown hair, a happy Spaniard named Antonio, and his friend Gil, a German and an albino who seemed to be friends with Al as well. The Human Resource department was one man who never stayed in his tiny office, Francis. The Accountants were Arthur, an angry looking British man and Natalya, a stern looking young woman. Hidden away in the back room was the tech guy, Eduard and Arthur’s young cousin and intern Peter. In yet another office that no one dared entered unless invited was Ludwig’s office, who was in charge of the warehouse and shipping.
Dan wished that he could film the group, they each had such interesting and competing personalities.
“So, er honey,” Toris managed to choke out, the term of endearment sounding so wrong when used on his cold, unaffectionate girl friend, “What do you want to do tonight?” His girlfriend simply grunted, although Toris was rather unsure of if that meant yes or no, and went back to working on the branch’s taxes. He bent down so he was at her level, and tried unsuccessfully to entwine her fingers with his, so he settled on a simple hand hold. He felt Arthur’s amused stare from the adjacent desk and tried to ignore the British man’s impoliteness. Natalya simply shook her hand out from his as soon as he managed to hold hers so she could type more efficiently. Toris finally gave up trying to be romantic and smiled quietly,
“That’s fine, hun. We don’t have to hang out if you don’t like.”
Arthur let out a half-strangled laugh at this pathetic attempt, which earned him a supposedly threatening glare from Toris. But it wasn’t until Natalya glared at him that he stopped laughing under his breath.
“Hey, everyone!”
Al’s voice interrupted Gilbert’s and Francis’s conversation about which employee they would want to get drunk first, and earned him an annoyed groan from the both of them.
“Into the conference room for an emergency meeting! Pronto!”
Al yelled, practically bouncing with excitement.
“Is someone hurt?”
Kat asked as they entered, and Al simply shook his head and tried to hide a smile. Everyone walked into the room, wondering what their eccentric boss was making them do this time. Matt scrambled for a seat away from Ivan, and ending up sitting next to Kat and Gil, while Gil poked him while smiling devilsishly.
“Guess what?”
Al called out, excited for his employees to learn of the new film crew documenting their every move. Although, no one was remotely excited or interested in guessing besides Ivan. While everyone else groaned, Ivan scratched his head and tried to guess.
“Is it a raise? Maybe a party? Or did you get fired?”
The last party was asked with a venomous twist that everyone but Al was frightened by. Laughing, he answered the Russian,
“No, of course not! We’re going to be filmed!”
The not so quiet whisperings of Gilbert and Francis were hushed as the entire office stared at their now considered crazy boss. They just stared at each, no one willing to speak first.
“Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Matt spoke first, his quiet voice cutting through the silent room. All eyes turned to him as Al dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand.
“Nonsense, Matt. You’re much more photogenic than you think.”
“No, Mr. Jones. I don’t think anyone really likes the idea.”
This time it was Peter, standing in the corner playing with the buttons on his shirt as he stood up to a boss for the first time in his life. Al’s smile turned to a confused frown as he took in Peter’s statement. Finally realizing the distaste in everyone’s facial expressions he mumbled to himself. Then, his head shot up like he had gotten an epiphany.
“I know! Let’s just be filmed for a day!”
As most employees began to complain, Al stood up on a table and waved his hands around saying,
“Discussion closed! If nobody likes Dan filming after tomorrow I’ll give it up!”
“And she was such a virgin, I swear. You can’t lie to an experienced man you know.”
Francis explained, his French accent making the inappropriate topic sound benign and similar to conversing about the weather. Or maybe it was his long running experience with sexual encounters that allowed his topic to sound natural to him.
“Just shut up you frog!”
Arthur finally snapped, yelling in a voice that briefly got the attention of the whole office. Arthur was tired of the pair loitering around the water cooler right next to his desk and Francis’s constant sexual escapades. Francis flipped a lock of golden hair and smiled in a condescending way before remarking,
“I don’t remember including you in our conversation, Arthur.”
Antonio smiled into his paper cup of water while Gilbert shouted ‘buuuurn’ in a low voice. Arthur’s face practically turned bright red as he sputtered nonsense at the trio. Turning to the quiet camera man documenting the scene he yelled,
“Go to hell!”
And stormed out of the office, grabbing a jacket and calling out that he was leaving early for his lunch break. Antonio looked embarrassed and guilty at the whole scene, as Gilbert had the look of someone who doesn’t know quite what happened. Francis simply shrugged, turned to the camera, and said nonchalantly,
“The British, what can you do?”
“Oh, Ivan. You’re so funny.”
Natalya gushed, sitting on the edge of Matt’s desk looking flirtatiously at Ivan. Ivan was staring into his computer screen as if it held the answers to the world while even the tips of his eyes turned a light pink. His hand was shaking as he moved his mouse and mumbled something to the accountant,
“C-Can you go away? I have work to do?”
Natalya flipped her hair and leaned over Ivan before leaving, her old lady perfemum filling his nose. She brushed a lock of hair out of his face and murmured,
“Okay, lovely.”
She then straightened up and stalked away like nothing had happened, while Ivan sat at his desk shaking and Matt just stared with his mouth hanging open. Ivan saw Matt’s stare and growled, although it was rather weak and unthreatening. Matt closed his mouth thoughtfully and asked sarcastically,
“You have to work?”
Ivan frowned and slipped a pair of headphones out of his desk drawer and said, after regaingin his confidence,
“So what if watching the Russians pulverize the Canadians in hockey is not work? That lady is like a wolf, hungry and ruthless.”
Matt stood up indignantly and said in a louder than normal for him voice,
“The Canadians are better!”
Ivan raised a single eyebrow and laughed at the quiet man attempting to make a stand for himself.
“Ah, you are Canadian, yes? No wonder you think those losers are good players.”
Matt fumbled for words in his mind, coming out with only,
“Take that back!”
Ivan laughed a bit louder and stood up as well, so the men were face to face, almost touching noses, about their desks. The camera swung in their direction as Kat gasped and started to run around her desk to stop the impending argument.
“Really, little man? Who will make me?”
Matt’s face turned bright red as he sputtered, his pride getting the best of him in a situation where he would undoubtedly lose. Luckily for him, Kat intervened.
“Calm down, please! You two do not want to get fired over hockey, I know it!”
Her voice was shaky and sounded like she was on the verge of tears, which caused Matt to sit down in his seat. While Ivan laughed about winning the argument, Matt was rewarded with a thankful smiled from Kat, who touched his arm before going back to her desk. She leant down and murmured a thank you before leaving. Matt felt goose bumps from where she had touched him, and wondered why the receptionist desk was so cold.
The next day, was a typical work day, the “Perverted Trio”, as Arthur and a couple other employees called them, hung around the water cooler, Peter ran around making copies and doing impossible tasks assigned to him to make them laugh, and Natalya stalking Ivan whenever he moved. Toris fidgeted, trying not to draw the attention of the camera as he got up and walked to his girlfriend’s desk. The blonde was currently watching Ivan through a pair of black sunglasses that were from her eyes being dilated at her “eye doctor appointment.” Luckily for Toris, Gilbert had just dragged the cameraman outside to film him doing some new trick on his skateboard that everyone predicting would end in a trip to the ER.
“Honey, what are you doing?”
Natalya quickly snapped her head back to him and snarled,
“Working. Unlike a useless boyfriend I know.”
Toris winced and tried to rephrase the question, but Natalya simply waved her hand and said in a slightly nicer voice,
“Go back to your desk, Toris.”
The camera had returned behind a limping albino, who was smiling despite the cracked skateboard in his hands. Gilbert immediately ran over to Antonio, who was sipping on a coffee while attempting to close a sale with a client. Spouting lies about his amazing trick, Gilbert leaned over on Antonio’s desk while Antonio struggled to find a suitable excuse for the noise in the background. Francis leaned over the nearby water cooler talking to Kat, who looked as though she was attempting an escape. Trying to film the unfolding drama, the cameraman was pushed out of the way by an irritated Toris trying to return to his seat. Dan might’ve regained his balance, but Natalya took the moment to run past him to catch Ivan alone, causing the man to crash into the water cooler. What shot out at everyone in the area, including Al who had just come over to talk to Gilbert about his skateboard trick. In an attempt to shut of the cooler, Matt stumbled over but hit the fire button by mistake. The whole office was suddenly being rained on. Screaming and running, all the employees darted out of their office and downstairs. Even Ludwig was running, although the stoic man had enough common sense to grab the client information binder on his way out.
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”
Al said trying to seem lighthearted about the whole incident as the office sat in the parking lot as the responding firemen reset the alarm. Everyone looked a lot like weg dogs, and Kat had bought hair bands for everyone with long hair. The long hair list included Toris and Francis, although Toris just let his chin length hair fluff up without a hair band while Francis looked amazingly masculine even with his hair in a low pony tail.
“Not that bad? Al, it was a disaster!”
Antonio called out, finally fed up with going with his boss’s crazy schemes. Most bobbed their heads in agreement while Ivan said a loud,
“I agree.”
Ludwig even spoke up, although he was very polite while doing so,
“Mr. Jones, I don’t think the filming of the office is a very good idea.”
Looking depressed and deflated, Al stood up sadly hanging his head. Water still dripping out of his hair he sighed melodramatically and said in a low tone,
“Well, if no one here cares about me I’ll be in my office.”
“But Al, your office is all wet!”
Peter cried out, always the master of the obvious. Al continued his mope to the door, and gave a loud sigh one last time before entering the building as the firefighters came out to give the all clear.
Looking at each other, the employees again sat in the parking lot waiting for someone to say something first. It was Ludwig.
“Well, I’m going to check inventory in the warehouse.”
He quickly exited the lot, with Peter running after him saying that he needed to learn about the shipping for the company. The next to speak was Kat, whose hands were folded politely in lap as she sat next to Matt on the curb.
“Someone needs to talk to Mr. Jones. He’s very sad.”
They all nodded in agreement, although none volunteered to do so.
“Maybe we should vote?”
Offered Gilbert, who was talking while picking at a new skateboard wound on his side. He continued on after looking up,
“I mean, have someone talk to him who knows him really well.”
All eyes immediately went to Arthur, who had some sort of history with the boss that no one but Francis knew, and for once the Frenchman refused to tell. Knowing it was a losing battle, Arthur threw his hands up in the air and said,
“Fine. Whatever. But I’m not being nice.”
Arthur knocked on the door nervously in the damp office. His shoes sunk into the soaked carpet and he felt as though the whole room looked like it had been submerged rather that the sprinklers going off. After his timid knock, Al groaned from behind the locked office door and yelled,
“Go away…. Or apologize.”
Arthur frowned and jiggled the handle to the door while reaching for a toothpick he’d left from lunch in his pocket to unlock the door while answering Al,
“We have nothing to apologize for, idiot.”
He slammed open the door after unlocking it, feeling a bit bad ass and awesome after unlocking a door with an old toothpick. Although his heroic feeling left as soon as he saw Al slumped in his office chair like a puppy in the rain. Al sniffled slightly at mumbled upon seeing Arthur,
“Oh, Artie. I knew you would come for me.”
Arthur scoffed at the annoying nickname as Al penetrated his soul with the most heart-wrenching look in the world. Attempting to keep his cool, Arthur straightened his tie and said in a business-like tone,
“We need to reach a compromise here, Alfred. No one wants to be filmed but you and maybe that pervert Francis.”
Al let out a little whimper and slammed his head into his arms on the desk. Alarmed, Arthur ran over to his boss and cautiously put his arms around the man. Patting Al’s back rhythmically, Arthur tried to console him,
“This doesn’t mean your coworkers don’t like you, Alfred. It just means…. They don’t like being filmed. For example, I still like you.”
Al looked up with a strangely different expression on his face at Arthur and leaned upward so their faces were almost touching. Arthur felt heat rise into his face as Al whispered into his ear, so close he could feel the other man’s warm breath tickling his ear,
“But how much do you like me, Arthur?”
“How long is this supposed to take? We asked Arthur to apologize, not have make-up sex with him.”
Gilbert complained, laying on the sidewalk occasionally texting someone on his phone. Matt cringed at Gilbert’s crude comments while Francis and strangely Natalya giggled at it.
“Oh, Gilbert. It’s not nice to assume people are gay… Or straight for that matter.”
Kat said, trying to teach the albino about respecting different sexual preferences. Gilbert just rolled his eyes and continued texting, mumbling something about ‘queers’ under his breath. Matt gave Kat a sympathetic look, and continued talking to Toris about nothing. Toris was obviously worried about his relationship with Natalya and tried desperately not to notice that his girlfriend was hanging all over the petrified Ivan.
“Hey, looks like Mr. Kirkland is back!”
Eduard yelled out, interrupting the conversations of everyone as they turned to ask Arthur how the explanation went. Arthur came out of the office, hair messier than usual, face red, and his tie askew. Francis raised an eyebrow while Gilbert whistled. Kat stood up to ask Arthur how it went, and he shoved her aside saying,
“The cameraman will be back next week after the office is recarpeted and repainted.”
The man all but ran to his car and sped away as Francis laughed under his breath. Antonio was the first to speak, saying what was on everyone’s mind,
“Next time, we send someone the boss can’t convince with sex.”
Or check out previous chapters on FF.net
Author/Artist: Me!
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Many, many parings
Rating: M
Warnings: Sexual situations and occasional language (mainly that's just so I don't have to limit myself later on)
Summary: Set in a paper supplier's branch in Seattle, employees have to deal with their eccentric boss and their own strange personalities. Hetalia/Office
Check it out
Upon entering the office, it actually looked like everyone was working diligently. But, once one began to observe the room it was obvious hardly anyone was focused on their assigned job. At a desk near the receptionists, a tall scary white-blonde haired man was whittling, with a knife, at his desk while carefully sweeping the wood shavings into the trashcan at set intervals. The almost invisible blonde sitting across from him was just staring, in shock, as if he couldn’t believe someone would be whittling at work. Further down were a set of empty desks, their owners standing next to the water cooler laughing and loudly whispering adult topics and bad-taste jokes. The three men, one golden blonde that looked like a model, an albino, and a smiling Hispanic man were obviously annoying the man at the nearby desk who was glaring at them through his huge eyebrows. Although, it wasn’t guaranteed that once they left the irritated man would work, he had a Harry Potter book poorly concealed on his lap. Next to the bushy-browed man was a cold platinum blonde with steely eyes working diligently. A nervous pale-brunette stood next to her, his hands shaking as he tried to flirt with the woman. She simply nodded at the right times and occasionally asked him to leave. In a back room, a small teenage who bared a scary resemblance to the large eyebrow man peeked through blinds as his friend worked on fixing a computer. In another separate room, a blonde man with glasses could be seen doing his work efficiently and quietly, although he was occasionally interrupted by a phone call, which he answered with clear distaste.
Walking up to the well endowed receptionist, the messy looking man asked in a stuttering voice,
“May I see Al, er Mr. Jones? He said he’d be available now.”
The pretty receptionist smiled, and picked up her phone to ask the boss. The ringing of the phone could be heard through the boss’s wall, and you could see the grown man playing on his DS as he reached for the phone as well. Smiling and nodding, the receptionist told the man with the large duffle bag that Mr. Jones could see him now. Hastily saving his game, the boss shoved his DS in a desk drawer as the man walked in.
“Hey, John! Did you bring the camera like you said?”
Mr. Jones got up from behind his desk to give his friend a bear hug, and Dan couldn’t help but hug back. Mr. Jones just had that kind of effect on people.
“Yeah, I did. Although Al, I’ll admit. It’s a bit weird seeing you in charge of all these people. You’re kind of…”
Dan trailed off, not wanting to insult his new employer. But, his friend Al just didn’t fit the description for any kind of office job, much less the boring boss. He was tall, young, tanned, with blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes behind a pair of high prescription glasses. Al smiled and said cheerfully,
“When this branch opened I was the candidate for the CEO and they wanted to test my skills. But I like it here too much to go to corporate anyways.”
Dan nodded, and began to get down to business by sitting at the chair in front of Al’s desk and asking,
“You guys ready for me to start shooting?”
“Yeah!”
Al said triumphantly, smiling like he had won the lottery or something greater.
“So, you have all the forms signed?”
Al’s face turned confused and Dan knew that Al hadn’t really researched or looked into his offer at all. Sighing, Dan tried to explain,
“If I film your office for television or a documentary, I need signed papers from everyone saying it’s okay. It’s the law.”
Al nodded and explained his own thought process with gusto,
“I figured since everyone loved TV so much, they wouldn’t mind being filmed once you came!”
Dan felt his one job opportunity crumble and was faced with explaining reality to an optimistic Alfred Jones.
Even though there was no way he would be able to shoot, Al hadn’t even asked his employees yet, Dan allowed himself to be introduced to every member of the branch.
At the receptionist desk was Katyusha, or Kat for short. She was just averagely pretty, but a man quickly forgot about that once they saw how God had decided to gift the woman in the size of her breast. The sales department consisted of Al’s Canadian cousin Matt, a quiet man that was easily forgotten, Ivan, a scary Russian that had a strange friendship with Al, Toris, a nervous looking man with brown hair, a happy Spaniard named Antonio, and his friend Gil, a German and an albino who seemed to be friends with Al as well. The Human Resource department was one man who never stayed in his tiny office, Francis. The Accountants were Arthur, an angry looking British man and Natalya, a stern looking young woman. Hidden away in the back room was the tech guy, Eduard and Arthur’s young cousin and intern Peter. In yet another office that no one dared entered unless invited was Ludwig’s office, who was in charge of the warehouse and shipping.
Dan wished that he could film the group, they each had such interesting and competing personalities.
“So, er honey,” Toris managed to choke out, the term of endearment sounding so wrong when used on his cold, unaffectionate girl friend, “What do you want to do tonight?” His girlfriend simply grunted, although Toris was rather unsure of if that meant yes or no, and went back to working on the branch’s taxes. He bent down so he was at her level, and tried unsuccessfully to entwine her fingers with his, so he settled on a simple hand hold. He felt Arthur’s amused stare from the adjacent desk and tried to ignore the British man’s impoliteness. Natalya simply shook her hand out from his as soon as he managed to hold hers so she could type more efficiently. Toris finally gave up trying to be romantic and smiled quietly,
“That’s fine, hun. We don’t have to hang out if you don’t like.”
Arthur let out a half-strangled laugh at this pathetic attempt, which earned him a supposedly threatening glare from Toris. But it wasn’t until Natalya glared at him that he stopped laughing under his breath.
“Hey, everyone!”
Al’s voice interrupted Gilbert’s and Francis’s conversation about which employee they would want to get drunk first, and earned him an annoyed groan from the both of them.
“Into the conference room for an emergency meeting! Pronto!”
Al yelled, practically bouncing with excitement.
“Is someone hurt?”
Kat asked as they entered, and Al simply shook his head and tried to hide a smile. Everyone walked into the room, wondering what their eccentric boss was making them do this time. Matt scrambled for a seat away from Ivan, and ending up sitting next to Kat and Gil, while Gil poked him while smiling devilsishly.
“Guess what?”
Al called out, excited for his employees to learn of the new film crew documenting their every move. Although, no one was remotely excited or interested in guessing besides Ivan. While everyone else groaned, Ivan scratched his head and tried to guess.
“Is it a raise? Maybe a party? Or did you get fired?”
The last party was asked with a venomous twist that everyone but Al was frightened by. Laughing, he answered the Russian,
“No, of course not! We’re going to be filmed!”
The not so quiet whisperings of Gilbert and Francis were hushed as the entire office stared at their now considered crazy boss. They just stared at each, no one willing to speak first.
“Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Matt spoke first, his quiet voice cutting through the silent room. All eyes turned to him as Al dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand.
“Nonsense, Matt. You’re much more photogenic than you think.”
“No, Mr. Jones. I don’t think anyone really likes the idea.”
This time it was Peter, standing in the corner playing with the buttons on his shirt as he stood up to a boss for the first time in his life. Al’s smile turned to a confused frown as he took in Peter’s statement. Finally realizing the distaste in everyone’s facial expressions he mumbled to himself. Then, his head shot up like he had gotten an epiphany.
“I know! Let’s just be filmed for a day!”
As most employees began to complain, Al stood up on a table and waved his hands around saying,
“Discussion closed! If nobody likes Dan filming after tomorrow I’ll give it up!”
“And she was such a virgin, I swear. You can’t lie to an experienced man you know.”
Francis explained, his French accent making the inappropriate topic sound benign and similar to conversing about the weather. Or maybe it was his long running experience with sexual encounters that allowed his topic to sound natural to him.
“Just shut up you frog!”
Arthur finally snapped, yelling in a voice that briefly got the attention of the whole office. Arthur was tired of the pair loitering around the water cooler right next to his desk and Francis’s constant sexual escapades. Francis flipped a lock of golden hair and smiled in a condescending way before remarking,
“I don’t remember including you in our conversation, Arthur.”
Antonio smiled into his paper cup of water while Gilbert shouted ‘buuuurn’ in a low voice. Arthur’s face practically turned bright red as he sputtered nonsense at the trio. Turning to the quiet camera man documenting the scene he yelled,
“Go to hell!”
And stormed out of the office, grabbing a jacket and calling out that he was leaving early for his lunch break. Antonio looked embarrassed and guilty at the whole scene, as Gilbert had the look of someone who doesn’t know quite what happened. Francis simply shrugged, turned to the camera, and said nonchalantly,
“The British, what can you do?”
“Oh, Ivan. You’re so funny.”
Natalya gushed, sitting on the edge of Matt’s desk looking flirtatiously at Ivan. Ivan was staring into his computer screen as if it held the answers to the world while even the tips of his eyes turned a light pink. His hand was shaking as he moved his mouse and mumbled something to the accountant,
“C-Can you go away? I have work to do?”
Natalya flipped her hair and leaned over Ivan before leaving, her old lady perfemum filling his nose. She brushed a lock of hair out of his face and murmured,
“Okay, lovely.”
She then straightened up and stalked away like nothing had happened, while Ivan sat at his desk shaking and Matt just stared with his mouth hanging open. Ivan saw Matt’s stare and growled, although it was rather weak and unthreatening. Matt closed his mouth thoughtfully and asked sarcastically,
“You have to work?”
Ivan frowned and slipped a pair of headphones out of his desk drawer and said, after regaingin his confidence,
“So what if watching the Russians pulverize the Canadians in hockey is not work? That lady is like a wolf, hungry and ruthless.”
Matt stood up indignantly and said in a louder than normal for him voice,
“The Canadians are better!”
Ivan raised a single eyebrow and laughed at the quiet man attempting to make a stand for himself.
“Ah, you are Canadian, yes? No wonder you think those losers are good players.”
Matt fumbled for words in his mind, coming out with only,
“Take that back!”
Ivan laughed a bit louder and stood up as well, so the men were face to face, almost touching noses, about their desks. The camera swung in their direction as Kat gasped and started to run around her desk to stop the impending argument.
“Really, little man? Who will make me?”
Matt’s face turned bright red as he sputtered, his pride getting the best of him in a situation where he would undoubtedly lose. Luckily for him, Kat intervened.
“Calm down, please! You two do not want to get fired over hockey, I know it!”
Her voice was shaky and sounded like she was on the verge of tears, which caused Matt to sit down in his seat. While Ivan laughed about winning the argument, Matt was rewarded with a thankful smiled from Kat, who touched his arm before going back to her desk. She leant down and murmured a thank you before leaving. Matt felt goose bumps from where she had touched him, and wondered why the receptionist desk was so cold.
The next day, was a typical work day, the “Perverted Trio”, as Arthur and a couple other employees called them, hung around the water cooler, Peter ran around making copies and doing impossible tasks assigned to him to make them laugh, and Natalya stalking Ivan whenever he moved. Toris fidgeted, trying not to draw the attention of the camera as he got up and walked to his girlfriend’s desk. The blonde was currently watching Ivan through a pair of black sunglasses that were from her eyes being dilated at her “eye doctor appointment.” Luckily for Toris, Gilbert had just dragged the cameraman outside to film him doing some new trick on his skateboard that everyone predicting would end in a trip to the ER.
“Honey, what are you doing?”
Natalya quickly snapped her head back to him and snarled,
“Working. Unlike a useless boyfriend I know.”
Toris winced and tried to rephrase the question, but Natalya simply waved her hand and said in a slightly nicer voice,
“Go back to your desk, Toris.”
The camera had returned behind a limping albino, who was smiling despite the cracked skateboard in his hands. Gilbert immediately ran over to Antonio, who was sipping on a coffee while attempting to close a sale with a client. Spouting lies about his amazing trick, Gilbert leaned over on Antonio’s desk while Antonio struggled to find a suitable excuse for the noise in the background. Francis leaned over the nearby water cooler talking to Kat, who looked as though she was attempting an escape. Trying to film the unfolding drama, the cameraman was pushed out of the way by an irritated Toris trying to return to his seat. Dan might’ve regained his balance, but Natalya took the moment to run past him to catch Ivan alone, causing the man to crash into the water cooler. What shot out at everyone in the area, including Al who had just come over to talk to Gilbert about his skateboard trick. In an attempt to shut of the cooler, Matt stumbled over but hit the fire button by mistake. The whole office was suddenly being rained on. Screaming and running, all the employees darted out of their office and downstairs. Even Ludwig was running, although the stoic man had enough common sense to grab the client information binder on his way out.
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”
Al said trying to seem lighthearted about the whole incident as the office sat in the parking lot as the responding firemen reset the alarm. Everyone looked a lot like weg dogs, and Kat had bought hair bands for everyone with long hair. The long hair list included Toris and Francis, although Toris just let his chin length hair fluff up without a hair band while Francis looked amazingly masculine even with his hair in a low pony tail.
“Not that bad? Al, it was a disaster!”
Antonio called out, finally fed up with going with his boss’s crazy schemes. Most bobbed their heads in agreement while Ivan said a loud,
“I agree.”
Ludwig even spoke up, although he was very polite while doing so,
“Mr. Jones, I don’t think the filming of the office is a very good idea.”
Looking depressed and deflated, Al stood up sadly hanging his head. Water still dripping out of his hair he sighed melodramatically and said in a low tone,
“Well, if no one here cares about me I’ll be in my office.”
“But Al, your office is all wet!”
Peter cried out, always the master of the obvious. Al continued his mope to the door, and gave a loud sigh one last time before entering the building as the firefighters came out to give the all clear.
Looking at each other, the employees again sat in the parking lot waiting for someone to say something first. It was Ludwig.
“Well, I’m going to check inventory in the warehouse.”
He quickly exited the lot, with Peter running after him saying that he needed to learn about the shipping for the company. The next to speak was Kat, whose hands were folded politely in lap as she sat next to Matt on the curb.
“Someone needs to talk to Mr. Jones. He’s very sad.”
They all nodded in agreement, although none volunteered to do so.
“Maybe we should vote?”
Offered Gilbert, who was talking while picking at a new skateboard wound on his side. He continued on after looking up,
“I mean, have someone talk to him who knows him really well.”
All eyes immediately went to Arthur, who had some sort of history with the boss that no one but Francis knew, and for once the Frenchman refused to tell. Knowing it was a losing battle, Arthur threw his hands up in the air and said,
“Fine. Whatever. But I’m not being nice.”
Arthur knocked on the door nervously in the damp office. His shoes sunk into the soaked carpet and he felt as though the whole room looked like it had been submerged rather that the sprinklers going off. After his timid knock, Al groaned from behind the locked office door and yelled,
“Go away…. Or apologize.”
Arthur frowned and jiggled the handle to the door while reaching for a toothpick he’d left from lunch in his pocket to unlock the door while answering Al,
“We have nothing to apologize for, idiot.”
He slammed open the door after unlocking it, feeling a bit bad ass and awesome after unlocking a door with an old toothpick. Although his heroic feeling left as soon as he saw Al slumped in his office chair like a puppy in the rain. Al sniffled slightly at mumbled upon seeing Arthur,
“Oh, Artie. I knew you would come for me.”
Arthur scoffed at the annoying nickname as Al penetrated his soul with the most heart-wrenching look in the world. Attempting to keep his cool, Arthur straightened his tie and said in a business-like tone,
“We need to reach a compromise here, Alfred. No one wants to be filmed but you and maybe that pervert Francis.”
Al let out a little whimper and slammed his head into his arms on the desk. Alarmed, Arthur ran over to his boss and cautiously put his arms around the man. Patting Al’s back rhythmically, Arthur tried to console him,
“This doesn’t mean your coworkers don’t like you, Alfred. It just means…. They don’t like being filmed. For example, I still like you.”
Al looked up with a strangely different expression on his face at Arthur and leaned upward so their faces were almost touching. Arthur felt heat rise into his face as Al whispered into his ear, so close he could feel the other man’s warm breath tickling his ear,
“But how much do you like me, Arthur?”
“How long is this supposed to take? We asked Arthur to apologize, not have make-up sex with him.”
Gilbert complained, laying on the sidewalk occasionally texting someone on his phone. Matt cringed at Gilbert’s crude comments while Francis and strangely Natalya giggled at it.
“Oh, Gilbert. It’s not nice to assume people are gay… Or straight for that matter.”
Kat said, trying to teach the albino about respecting different sexual preferences. Gilbert just rolled his eyes and continued texting, mumbling something about ‘queers’ under his breath. Matt gave Kat a sympathetic look, and continued talking to Toris about nothing. Toris was obviously worried about his relationship with Natalya and tried desperately not to notice that his girlfriend was hanging all over the petrified Ivan.
“Hey, looks like Mr. Kirkland is back!”
Eduard yelled out, interrupting the conversations of everyone as they turned to ask Arthur how the explanation went. Arthur came out of the office, hair messier than usual, face red, and his tie askew. Francis raised an eyebrow while Gilbert whistled. Kat stood up to ask Arthur how it went, and he shoved her aside saying,
“The cameraman will be back next week after the office is recarpeted and repainted.”
The man all but ran to his car and sped away as Francis laughed under his breath. Antonio was the first to speak, saying what was on everyone’s mind,
“Next time, we send someone the boss can’t convince with sex.”
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