(no subject)
I honestly don't know if anyone really cares about this, but I made my journal look different. I actually really like it this time. And I wrote something new for my mini-autobiography. I'm so bad at this, but I needed something new. I'll post it for those of you who care.
I look at the places I've been and people I've met...and I realize that I'm nothing without them.
...
There's really no good place to start this autobiography. I've tried to write a good one so many times before, but it's just not happening. So I'm just going to tell you about me. I'm going to try to be as truthful as I can, and it's up to you to really get to know who I am.
. I am a college sophomore in upstate New York. I declared my major to be psychobiology, but that will most likely be changing to psychology belong long. I may have a concentration in Asian/Asian-American Studies and a minor in chemistry.
. I love my parents, but I generally don't relate to them. They have provided a lot for me, but I don't have a close relationship with them.
. My friends, on the other hand, is really all I have. I confide in my friends about almost everything. They are my angels and I don't know what I would do without them.
. I trust people easily, and sometimes that's my downfall. I have this complex about my ability to trust. I trust people, but anytime that I become vulnerable, I feel like it's my fault for getting close with them. And that is a very big problem that I have with myself.
. I get jealous easily. I wish I didn't, but I do. I'm afraid that people will leave me because I'm not good enough.
. I think too much. Too much for my own good anyway. They're not necessarily bad thoughts, but most of the time, they are. I can't help it, although I wish I could. I've stayed up at night because I just can't stop thinking.
. I want to be able to travel the world. I really do. I love photography and would really love to emerge myself in all those places that I see on TV and read in books.
...
(Sister Hazel - Your Winter)
The grey ceiling on the earth, well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth, I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view
What else, what else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry
I said I'm sorry, but what for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
I don't want to hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only know how much I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here
The old picture on the shelf, it's been there for a while
Frozen image of ourselves, we were acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance, a dance that lasted for a while
You read my eyes just like your diary, oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but once more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself
I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you
I was reading the biography for babybeaver a little earlier, which is why I decided to write a new biography for myself. I was talking to her online earlier and I felt kinda dumb because I didn't know much about her. Maybe she wrote something in her posts, but since I've been skimming lately, I felt kinda dumb when she'd mention something and I didn't know if I should know about it or not. But it was really nice to talk to her. And a couple of the things that she put in her biography, I can totally relate to, so I thought it was nice to find out that we have some of that stuff in common.
...
Did I mention that Troy left for Trinidad? He's going to be there for three and a half weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do without him for that long. I mean, even when we were together at school, we talked on the phone every night. I actually don't even know when I'll get a chance to talk to him again. It'll be a long few weeks. It's as if I'm not bored out of my mind here at home as it is.
I look at the places I've been and people I've met...and I realize that I'm nothing without them.
...
There's really no good place to start this autobiography. I've tried to write a good one so many times before, but it's just not happening. So I'm just going to tell you about me. I'm going to try to be as truthful as I can, and it's up to you to really get to know who I am.
. I am a college sophomore in upstate New York. I declared my major to be psychobiology, but that will most likely be changing to psychology belong long. I may have a concentration in Asian/Asian-American Studies and a minor in chemistry.
. I love my parents, but I generally don't relate to them. They have provided a lot for me, but I don't have a close relationship with them.
. My friends, on the other hand, is really all I have. I confide in my friends about almost everything. They are my angels and I don't know what I would do without them.
. I trust people easily, and sometimes that's my downfall. I have this complex about my ability to trust. I trust people, but anytime that I become vulnerable, I feel like it's my fault for getting close with them. And that is a very big problem that I have with myself.
. I get jealous easily. I wish I didn't, but I do. I'm afraid that people will leave me because I'm not good enough.
. I think too much. Too much for my own good anyway. They're not necessarily bad thoughts, but most of the time, they are. I can't help it, although I wish I could. I've stayed up at night because I just can't stop thinking.
. I want to be able to travel the world. I really do. I love photography and would really love to emerge myself in all those places that I see on TV and read in books.
...
(Sister Hazel - Your Winter)
The grey ceiling on the earth, well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth, I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view
What else, what else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry
I said I'm sorry, but what for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
I don't want to hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only know how much I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here
The old picture on the shelf, it's been there for a while
Frozen image of ourselves, we were acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance, a dance that lasted for a while
You read my eyes just like your diary, oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but once more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself
I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you
I was reading the biography for babybeaver a little earlier, which is why I decided to write a new biography for myself. I was talking to her online earlier and I felt kinda dumb because I didn't know much about her. Maybe she wrote something in her posts, but since I've been skimming lately, I felt kinda dumb when she'd mention something and I didn't know if I should know about it or not. But it was really nice to talk to her. And a couple of the things that she put in her biography, I can totally relate to, so I thought it was nice to find out that we have some of that stuff in common.
...
Did I mention that Troy left for Trinidad? He's going to be there for three and a half weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do without him for that long. I mean, even when we were together at school, we talked on the phone every night. I actually don't even know when I'll get a chance to talk to him again. It'll be a long few weeks. It's as if I'm not bored out of my mind here at home as it is.