Coalescence - HIMYM fic - 4/7
Title: Coalescence
Author: modernxxmyth
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Barney/Robin, ensemble
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None officially, but based on speculation for season eight.
Summary: In the aftermath of Barney's engagement, Robin does what she can to convince herself she's moved on.
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3.
Chapter Four
"Robin?" Lily's voice came over the phone. "I need a favor."
She knew that tone of voice. This wouldn't be good. "What is it?"
"Marshall's brother is in the hospital. He was in a car accident. He's stable…they say he'll make a full recovery, but Marshall really needs to see him. Ted and Victoria are going to be back from their trip tomorrow, but tonight…um, could you and Barney babysit Marvin for the night? You can stay at our place and everything. I've already asked Barney, and he's agreed to it. Please?"
"Of course I will, Lil. Tell Marshall I'm really sorry about his brother."
She hung up after saying her goodbyes.
Well, shit. Spending the night with her ex-boyfriend and a baby.
It sounded like it was shaping up to be a truly delightful evening.
* * *
Barney and Robin managed to show up at Lily and Marshall's place at the same time a few hours later.
"Alright, I just fed him, and there are some bottles in the refridgerator when he gets hungry again. Do you know how to work a diaper genie?"
Robin and Barney looked at each other helplessly.
"Okay, didn't think so. Come on, let me show you…"
Lily and Marshall spent the next 15 minutes showing them how to work the diaper genie, how to heat the milk correctly, and providing diaper changing instructions.
"This isn't the first time I've babysat," Barney explained exasperatedly.
"I do have a little sister. I've been around babies before," Robin added. "Just because I don't like them doesn't mean I don't know how to take care of one."
But she was secretly glad for the refresher course.
* * *
"WHY WON'T IT STOP CRYING?" Robin was screaming over Marvin's racket two hours later.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Barney screamed back. "Does he need to be changed again?"
Robin made a face and checked. "Nope."
"Fed?"
"No, we did that twenty minutes ago."
Robin patted the little one on the back a few times, and a burp louder than she could have imagined came out of the thing.
"Oh," they both said at once.
* * *
"I think I broke the diaper genie," Robin said anxiously. "Please tell me you have a diaper genie guy?"
"I could call my guy guy and see if he could find me one?"
"Or you could call your brother and have him explain what the hell I just did."
* * *
"HE SPIT UP ON MY SUIT! HE SPIT UP ON MY SUIT! ROBIN, CALL 911, IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"
"I'M NOT CALLING 911, AND NOW HE'S CRYING AGAIN, YOU IDIOT, KEEP YOUR STUPID VOICE DOWN!"
"OH GOD, WHERE'S TIM GUNN'S NUMBER? TAKE THE BABY BEFORE I EXCHANGE IT FOR A NEW SUIT! WE'VE GOT A DEMON CHILD ON OUR HANDS!"
* * *
"This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen," Robin frowned as she peaked into Marvin's diaper. "C'mon, we're double teaming this."
"I am not touching that."
"Just make him stop squirming while I do it. This kid won't stop moving. Does Lily have speed in her breast milk?"
"That would explain a few things about Marshall."
"Ew."
"Just saying."
"I hate babies, I hate babies, I hate babies," Robin muttered repeatedly while changing him.
"No need to have them, then," Barney teased.
Robin paused what she was doing and swallowed. Her mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry.
"Yeah," she agreed quietly and fixed Marvin's pajamas back on him and laid him down in his crib.
* * *
"That's it," Barney said over the child's wailing, "I'm calling an exorcist."
"Just rock him back and forth!"
"But I actually have an exorcist guy!"
* * *
"I don't care if the Internet told you babies like it when you sing to them, you are not getting me to sing Let's Go to the Mall to Marv!"
* * *
"I don't think I want to be a father," Barney told her quietly, as he held Marvin in his arms a bit later. The kid finally seemed like he'd be drifting off to sleep soon.
"Barney, just because you had one bad night with a baby doesn't mean you shouldn't be a father if it's something you really want."
"It's not something I really want."
Robin took a deep, cleansing breath. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"But you'd seemed like lately…"
"I know. But…I guess I've been thinking about it more and more since this little guy was born, and…I'd be pretty okay with just being an uncle a few more times over. I love James' kids. I've loved being an influence in their lives. I'm already teaching them how to live! But I don't think I need my own kids. I think this kind of thing is enough."
"I can't have kids."
It was complete verbal diarrhea. She covered her mouth, shocked at the way words had just fallen out of it.
"What do you mean, you can't have kids?" Barney asked gravely.
Robin looked at the floor and shrugged. "That's what the doc says."
"But after we…you thought you were…"
"Yeah. She called me back in a few days after we got the results and told me. I'm infertile," she added in a whisper.
"Wow. Robin, I'm so sorry."
She flashed him a weak smile. "It's not a big deal. I didn't want kids, anyway, you know? It's better it happened to me if it had to happen to someone. It's nothing."
"It's not nothing," Barney replied seriously. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"What was I supposed to say?"
He didn't reply.
Marvin broke the silence with an odd gurgling noise.
"Think I should put him down? He's been drifting in and out for a few minutes."
"Yeah, let's put him in his crib."
They settled him into his bed and grabbed the baby monitor, bringing it out into the living room with them. They both collapsed onto the couch, exhausted.
"Do you think they have any red bull in the fridge?" Barney questioned.
"I wouldn't bet on it. I'll make some coffee."
He was half asleep, laying across the couch by the time Robin was bringing their coffee out of the kitchen.
She nudged him. "Move over."
He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and took the cup gratefully.
"Mm, just right," Barney grinned after taking a sip. "You still remember how I take my coffee, Scherbatsky?"
Robin rolled her eyes. "Shut up. We practically lived together once upon a time, you know."
"That we did," he admitted. "Not that either of us were willing to admit it at the time."
She snorted. "You know me."
Barney's smile turned tender. "That I do. And you know me."
"Yeah," she whispered.
Robin bit her lip in the silence they shared.
"So, how's Ryan?" Barney changed the subject abruptly.
She choked on her beverage.
"I, uh…wouldn't know. We broke up."
Barney spit out his coffee. Robin tried not to laugh. Well, his suit was already ruined.
"Why?"
Robin put her coffee down on the table and pulled her knees into her chest, staring at him.
"Do you want the real version or the fake version?"
Barney visibly swallowed and put his mug down next to hers.
"Real."
"I stopped kidding myself it was going anywhere a while ago. He figured it out. He knew that I…well, he thought that there was something still between you and me. That I was still hung up on you."
Her breathing was suddenly very shallow as she awaited his response.
"Are you?" he asked with thinly veiled hope in his voice.
Robin tried to speak, but no sound came out. She took a deep breath and nodded.
And suddenly his lips were on hers, mouths fusing desperately. She let out a deep moan as he pressed up against her and trailed his lips down to her neck.
"Barney," she panted breathlessly.
But she wasn't going to be reckless this time.
At the rate they were going, it was going to be last November all over again.
Robin pushed him off of her.
He frowned. "What's wrong?"
"You just broke off your engagement a few weeks ago. I mean, can you honestly tell me that you're thinking clearly right now?"
"You're the reason Quinn dumped me," he blurted. "Shit, that came out wrong. I'm not blaming you. She just…she knew I was still hung up on you, too."
"Oh," Robin whispered. "And are you?"
He leaned in and whispered his 'yes' against her lips before pulling her in for a searing kiss.
---
Author: modernxxmyth
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Barney/Robin, ensemble
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None officially, but based on speculation for season eight.
Summary: In the aftermath of Barney's engagement, Robin does what she can to convince herself she's moved on.
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3.
Chapter Four
"Robin?" Lily's voice came over the phone. "I need a favor."
She knew that tone of voice. This wouldn't be good. "What is it?"
"Marshall's brother is in the hospital. He was in a car accident. He's stable…they say he'll make a full recovery, but Marshall really needs to see him. Ted and Victoria are going to be back from their trip tomorrow, but tonight…um, could you and Barney babysit Marvin for the night? You can stay at our place and everything. I've already asked Barney, and he's agreed to it. Please?"
"Of course I will, Lil. Tell Marshall I'm really sorry about his brother."
She hung up after saying her goodbyes.
Well, shit. Spending the night with her ex-boyfriend and a baby.
It sounded like it was shaping up to be a truly delightful evening.
* * *
Barney and Robin managed to show up at Lily and Marshall's place at the same time a few hours later.
"Alright, I just fed him, and there are some bottles in the refridgerator when he gets hungry again. Do you know how to work a diaper genie?"
Robin and Barney looked at each other helplessly.
"Okay, didn't think so. Come on, let me show you…"
Lily and Marshall spent the next 15 minutes showing them how to work the diaper genie, how to heat the milk correctly, and providing diaper changing instructions.
"This isn't the first time I've babysat," Barney explained exasperatedly.
"I do have a little sister. I've been around babies before," Robin added. "Just because I don't like them doesn't mean I don't know how to take care of one."
But she was secretly glad for the refresher course.
* * *
"WHY WON'T IT STOP CRYING?" Robin was screaming over Marvin's racket two hours later.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Barney screamed back. "Does he need to be changed again?"
Robin made a face and checked. "Nope."
"Fed?"
"No, we did that twenty minutes ago."
Robin patted the little one on the back a few times, and a burp louder than she could have imagined came out of the thing.
"Oh," they both said at once.
* * *
"I think I broke the diaper genie," Robin said anxiously. "Please tell me you have a diaper genie guy?"
"I could call my guy guy and see if he could find me one?"
"Or you could call your brother and have him explain what the hell I just did."
* * *
"HE SPIT UP ON MY SUIT! HE SPIT UP ON MY SUIT! ROBIN, CALL 911, IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"
"I'M NOT CALLING 911, AND NOW HE'S CRYING AGAIN, YOU IDIOT, KEEP YOUR STUPID VOICE DOWN!"
"OH GOD, WHERE'S TIM GUNN'S NUMBER? TAKE THE BABY BEFORE I EXCHANGE IT FOR A NEW SUIT! WE'VE GOT A DEMON CHILD ON OUR HANDS!"
* * *
"This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen," Robin frowned as she peaked into Marvin's diaper. "C'mon, we're double teaming this."
"I am not touching that."
"Just make him stop squirming while I do it. This kid won't stop moving. Does Lily have speed in her breast milk?"
"That would explain a few things about Marshall."
"Ew."
"Just saying."
"I hate babies, I hate babies, I hate babies," Robin muttered repeatedly while changing him.
"No need to have them, then," Barney teased.
Robin paused what she was doing and swallowed. Her mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry.
"Yeah," she agreed quietly and fixed Marvin's pajamas back on him and laid him down in his crib.
* * *
"That's it," Barney said over the child's wailing, "I'm calling an exorcist."
"Just rock him back and forth!"
"But I actually have an exorcist guy!"
* * *
"I don't care if the Internet told you babies like it when you sing to them, you are not getting me to sing Let's Go to the Mall to Marv!"
* * *
"I don't think I want to be a father," Barney told her quietly, as he held Marvin in his arms a bit later. The kid finally seemed like he'd be drifting off to sleep soon.
"Barney, just because you had one bad night with a baby doesn't mean you shouldn't be a father if it's something you really want."
"It's not something I really want."
Robin took a deep, cleansing breath. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"But you'd seemed like lately…"
"I know. But…I guess I've been thinking about it more and more since this little guy was born, and…I'd be pretty okay with just being an uncle a few more times over. I love James' kids. I've loved being an influence in their lives. I'm already teaching them how to live! But I don't think I need my own kids. I think this kind of thing is enough."
"I can't have kids."
It was complete verbal diarrhea. She covered her mouth, shocked at the way words had just fallen out of it.
"What do you mean, you can't have kids?" Barney asked gravely.
Robin looked at the floor and shrugged. "That's what the doc says."
"But after we…you thought you were…"
"Yeah. She called me back in a few days after we got the results and told me. I'm infertile," she added in a whisper.
"Wow. Robin, I'm so sorry."
She flashed him a weak smile. "It's not a big deal. I didn't want kids, anyway, you know? It's better it happened to me if it had to happen to someone. It's nothing."
"It's not nothing," Barney replied seriously. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"What was I supposed to say?"
He didn't reply.
Marvin broke the silence with an odd gurgling noise.
"Think I should put him down? He's been drifting in and out for a few minutes."
"Yeah, let's put him in his crib."
They settled him into his bed and grabbed the baby monitor, bringing it out into the living room with them. They both collapsed onto the couch, exhausted.
"Do you think they have any red bull in the fridge?" Barney questioned.
"I wouldn't bet on it. I'll make some coffee."
He was half asleep, laying across the couch by the time Robin was bringing their coffee out of the kitchen.
She nudged him. "Move over."
He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and took the cup gratefully.
"Mm, just right," Barney grinned after taking a sip. "You still remember how I take my coffee, Scherbatsky?"
Robin rolled her eyes. "Shut up. We practically lived together once upon a time, you know."
"That we did," he admitted. "Not that either of us were willing to admit it at the time."
She snorted. "You know me."
Barney's smile turned tender. "That I do. And you know me."
"Yeah," she whispered.
Robin bit her lip in the silence they shared.
"So, how's Ryan?" Barney changed the subject abruptly.
She choked on her beverage.
"I, uh…wouldn't know. We broke up."
Barney spit out his coffee. Robin tried not to laugh. Well, his suit was already ruined.
"Why?"
Robin put her coffee down on the table and pulled her knees into her chest, staring at him.
"Do you want the real version or the fake version?"
Barney visibly swallowed and put his mug down next to hers.
"Real."
"I stopped kidding myself it was going anywhere a while ago. He figured it out. He knew that I…well, he thought that there was something still between you and me. That I was still hung up on you."
Her breathing was suddenly very shallow as she awaited his response.
"Are you?" he asked with thinly veiled hope in his voice.
Robin tried to speak, but no sound came out. She took a deep breath and nodded.
And suddenly his lips were on hers, mouths fusing desperately. She let out a deep moan as he pressed up against her and trailed his lips down to her neck.
"Barney," she panted breathlessly.
But she wasn't going to be reckless this time.
At the rate they were going, it was going to be last November all over again.
Robin pushed him off of her.
He frowned. "What's wrong?"
"You just broke off your engagement a few weeks ago. I mean, can you honestly tell me that you're thinking clearly right now?"
"You're the reason Quinn dumped me," he blurted. "Shit, that came out wrong. I'm not blaming you. She just…she knew I was still hung up on you, too."
"Oh," Robin whispered. "And are you?"
He leaned in and whispered his 'yes' against her lips before pulling her in for a searing kiss.
---