Blueprints for Future Homes - HIMYM fic - 1/1
Title: Blueprints for Future Homes
Author: modernxxmyth
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Barney/Robin, ensemble
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Set after 7.21 Now We're Even. Involves some theories for the finale but no spoilers.
Summary: Some scotch, a birth, and a reunion.
Blue Prints for Future Homes
Robin was sitting in their booth at MacLaren's with Lily, staring into her glass of scotch, when Lily brought up Barney for the first time in a long time.
After the past several months of romantic triangle drama Robin and Barney and Ted had been going through, Lily had been walking on eggshells around Robin about the topic of romantic entanglements.
Lily sipped her iced water. "So, Robin…remember at Punchy's wedding when I realized you were still in love with Barney?"
Robin glared at her. "I don't recall."
Lily continued, "Are you…still in love with him? Now?"
"Of course not!"
"Okay, good."
Robin took a sip of her scotch. "Why good? I mean…yes. It is good."
"I think Barney is going to propose to Quinn!"
Robin choked on her drink. "He's what?"
"Ted found a ring. I just…thought you might want to know."
Robin downed the rest of her drink in a few quick gulps. She coughed.
"That is way too fast! Are you kidding me? What does he think he's playing at? How can he just…I mean, we…it's only been six months since…and he's hasn't even been with her very long…" She continued to splutter.
Lily pursed her lips, "Six months since what, Robin?"
"Huh?"
"You said it's only been six months since something. What happened six months ago?"
"Nothing!" she answered quickly.
"Where's the poop, Robin?"
"There's no poop," she insisted. "Nothing happened."
"Best friend card!" Lily exclaimed. "I am nine months pregnant. I am going to pop any day now. I am the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my entire life. You are telling me so I can take my mind off this!"
"I'm gonna need another scotch."
Robin returned from the bar a few minutes later, drink in hand, and sat down with a frown.
"So," Lily began, "You and Barney. Go."
Robin sighed. "Remember when Barney was freaking out about meeting Nora's parents, and Marshall let him take off the ducky tie?"
Lily nodded.
"That night we were sharing a cab home, and we just sort of got to reminiscing…"
"YOU HAD SEX IN THE CAB!"
"No!" Robin denied. "Okay, maybe there was a little hand stuff in the backseat before we got to the apartment, but no clothes came off until we were in private!"
"But you had sex?"
"Yeah." Robin bit her lip.
"You cheated on Kevin? Barney cheated on Nora?"
"Right in one."
Lily frowned in obvious disapproval. "Then what happened?"
"Barney told me the next day that he wanted to be with me. That he wanted to try again."
Robin swallowed the last of her second scotch and stared into the empty glass for several moments.
"We were supposed to break-up with Kevin and Nora. We were going to meet here later that night to talk about us. Barney went through with it. I didn't."
"Sweetie, why didn't you?"
She shrugged. "I thought Kevin was what I needed. He loved me, and he was so sweet. He was safe. He saw me as this incredible person. It was like I could do no wrong in his eyes. Barney saw me for the mess I am. I don't know. I guess I wanted to be seen for what Kevin saw in me. And the idea of being with Barney scared the shit out of me. Look at how it ended last time! And look at what's happened to me and Ted! I keep dating my best friends, and it's just ruined everything. Anyway, that's the gist of it."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"So you're still in love with Barney!"
"What? How did you get that out of what I just said!"
"A mother always knows, Robin."
"I'm pretty sure that phrase only applies to the mother of the person in question."
"Don't question me. I'm nine months pregnant. Don't think I won't sit on you."
"Fine! There may be some sort of vaguely romantic feelings in relation to Barney hanging around."
"That's the best I'm going to get out of you, isn't it?"
"You're lucky you got that much. I think it's the extent of my emotional capacity."
Lily snorted. "So what are you going to do about Quinn?"
Robin shrugged. "Nothing?"
"I could put my relationship sabotaging skills to use…"
"Never again, Lil. Don't you dare."
"Then you need to do something! You two belong together!"
"Says the woman who tried to break us up last time!"
Lily pouted. "That was different."
"Uh huh."
"You guys were destroying each other! But this time it would be different," she insisted.
"How do you know?" Robin asked, sounding a little more vulnerable than she'd like.
"Because this time you're ready for it. You've done your growing up. I think you guys both finally know what you want."
"Yeah, and what Barney wants is Quinn."
"Robin, it's Barney. You're all he's really wanted for years. You need to talk to him. You need to tell him how you feel."
"I don't know, Lily…"
"Best friend card!"
"I don't care how pregnant you are, you cannot play the best friend card twice in one conversation!"
"Pregnancy card!"
"Same rules apply."
"You need to do this, Robin."
"We'll see."
Lily let the argument drop for the time being.
* * *
It was very late that same night when Robin's phone lit up her room and started ringing. She groaned and grabbed it, checking the caller ID. It was Ted. Robin furrowed her brows. They hadn't had a conversation beyond that text her sent her after the helicopter incident in weeks. Understanding quickly dawned on her.
She answered the phone, "Is Lily having the baby?"
"Yep!" Ted replied. Robin thought she could almost hear the tears in his eyes.
"I'll meet you at the hospital."
* * *
Ted arrived first, as expected. When Robin showed up not long after, Ted was sitting in a chair in the waiting room, shaking his legs in anticipation. He looked nervous. When he saw Robin, his face softened. All of the resentment and complicated feelings between the pair of them disappeared in that moment. Robin crossed the room and hugged him.
"We're having a baby!" Ted exclaimed.
Robin laughed. "I guess we are, huh?"
They separated.
"Do I get to see you after this?" she ventured.
Ted smiled softly. "Yeah. Just try to get rid of me, Scherbatsky."
"So can we see them yet?"
"About that," he started. "Marshall's not here."
"WHAT?"
"I guess he and Barney were off in Atlantic City for what Barney dubbed 'a last day of freedom.'"
"Are they on their way?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, of course. They'll be here in a couple hours. Sounds like they've got plenty of time, though."
"If Marshall's not here, why the hell aren't you in there with Lily?"
"She may have kicked me out."
"Are you wearing your Team Baby shirt underneath that button-up?"
"Obviously. I also may have brought shirts for everyone else and tried to convince Lily to put one on over her hospital gown."
Robin sighed. "Show me to her room?"
* * *
"WHERE THE HELL IS MARSHALL?" Lily screamed for the umpteenth time, as she had during ever contraction so far.
"He'll be here soon, sweetie," Robin assured her, holding her hand tightly. "If I make him promise not to bring up Team Baby or be too clingy, can I let Ted back in? He did go to that birthing class with Marshall and probably knows more about this than I do…"
Lily grudgingly agreed it was a good idea.
* * *
Marshall and Barney showed up an hour later, looking completely ridiculous. Marshall was wearing some sort of custom made shirt that Robin didn't understand, and Barney was wearing the ducky tie again.
Marshall rushed to Lily's side and spent the next several hours apologizing profusely to her for not being there for her.
Robin pulled Barney aside for a moment. She gestured to his tie. "How the hell did you end up in that thing again?"
Barney looked down at his ensemble. "Oh, right. Lost a bet in the AC. Long story. Should be void now that we're back in the city, though."
He quickly took the tie off and stuffed it in his pocket.
"So," Robin began casually, "Is Quinn joining us?"
Barney shook his head. "She's working. She said she'd drop by when she got off if I wanted, but I told her she could just sleep."
Robin did her best to hold back a selfish smile.
"So Marshall and Lily are having a baby," he said in a serious tone.
Robin nodded. "They're having a baby."
She wondered if he was thinking what she was. Of their baby that had almost been.
Then Barney grabbed her hand and squeezed it briefly.
Yes, he must be.
She tried not to let it bother her when he let go.
* * *
The hours passed slowly, each of them bringing Lily ice chips in turn and trying to distract her from the pain she was in. Barney was briefly banned from the room because he kept performing magic. It was Robin who convinced them to let him back in after a 45-minute time out and a stern reprimand. They kept themselves stocked with shitty vending machine coffee to keep their eyes open. When hour eighteen rolled around, Dr. Sonya finally decreed they could take Lily and Marshall to the delivery room. Robin, Barney, and Ted were left in the waiting room, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and too much caffeine.
"I can't believe this is finally happening," Robin voiced. "Things are going to be so different from now on."
"We're not going to see them as much," Barney said.
"But it's going to be good," Ted decided. "It's going to be great. We're going to have a nephew to help raise."
"And corrupt," Robin added thoughtfully.
Barney chuckled.
"And corrupt," Ted acquiesced.
Robin took a sip of her coffee and cringed at the taste. It had been a long day. It was hard to believe it had been just yesterday when she was confessing to Lily about what was going on with her and Barney. Now she, Barney, and Ted were sitting together in the waiting room in companionable silence. The birth of their newest group member was bringing them back together, and Robin was thankful. She needed them both in her life. The group wasn't complete without all five of them.
She grabbed both of their hands and held on for dear life.
* * *
Eventually, Marshall came out of the delivery room, tears in his eyes and a grin on his face shouting, "It's a boy!"
They all stood up and ran to embrace him. Ted was crying instantly. Robin thought she may have even seen Barney well up momentarily.
"Can we see him?" Ted asked.
Marshall ushered them into the hospital room to meet his son.
Lily looked exhausted and pained, but absolutely the happiest Robin had ever seen her in her life.
She beamed. "Meet Stephen Marvin Aldrin-Eriksen."
Barney cleared his throat. "Why's he so…red?"
Robin hit him on the arm and hissed, "Don't insult the baby."
"All newborns look like that, Barney," Marshall answered.
"He's beautiful," Robin told the new parents.
They all took turns holding Stephen. Ted took off his button up and sported his Team Baby shirt when he had the honor of holding his nephew for the first time. Lily allowed it, now in a much better mood. A few tears sprouted in Robin's eyes when it was her turn.
"So do you hate him?" Lily asked.
Robin gave a watery laugh. "Nah. I think I might like this one."
Lily just barely concealed a smirk.
She passed the baby to Barney, who had an unreadable expression on his face as he held Stephen. Eventually, he cracked a smile.
"He's pretty cute," Barney said quietly. "Good work, guys."
Lily and Marshall laughed.
After about twenty minutes, Lily decided she wanted to get some sleep, and Ted, Robin, and Barney left the room.
Ted told Robin and Barney that he wanted some time alone - presumably, Robin assumed, to think about his own life and hopes of starting his own family.
Barney bumped his hip against Robin's.
"Want to take a walk?" he asked.
She nodded.
They walked at a leisurely pace. When they found themselves outside, Barney produced two cigars from his jacket pocket.
"It's tradition, right?" he asked.
Robin grinned and took the proffered cigar. "I'm pretty sure one of them is supposed to go to the father of the child."
"Please," Barney said. "Marshall smoked enough cigarettes on our way back from Atlantic City that I think he'll be off tobacco for a while."
They lit their cigars and puffed in silence for a few minutes.
"Do you want kids?" Robin asked all of a sudden. "I know neither of us wanted me to be pregnant when we thought…but for a while there you were pretty excited. Do you think you want kids?"
In that moment, it was the most important thing in the world to her that she knew his answer.
Barney took a puff from his cigar while he considered the question.
"No," he said honestly. "I've been doing some thinking about it ever since…and I don't think I do. You know I'd been warming up the idea of babies, but…I think being around all these kids that I can love the shit out of but not have to raise myself is going to be enough. I can be the world's most awesome uncle. That's going to be enough for me."
Robin breathed a sigh of relief she didn't know she'd been holding in.
"I can't have kids."
The words came spilling out of her mouth completely beyond her control.
"What?"
"After I had that appointment with Dr. Sonya, and we found out I wasn't pregnant, she asked me to come back in. I'm infertile."
Barney blinked. "I'm sorry."
Robin shrugged it off. "I mean, I didn't want kids to begin with. If it had to happen to someone, it's good it happened to me. But…" she broke off.
Barney nodded, not needing her to finish the thought. He knew. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"Yeah," was all he said. It was enough.
She didn't know if it was the lack of sleep or high level of emotions the day had brought, but Robin knew in that moment that she had to go for it.
"Don't propose to Quinn."
Barney dropped his arm from her shoulder and his cigar in the process. He took a step back. "What?"
"I know I have absolutely no right to ask you that, but Lily told me that Ted found a ring and thinks you're going to propose to her, and maybe this makes me a horrible selfish bitch, but I don't want you to. We could be great together, Barney. I know I had my chance in November and that I didn't take it."
She paused to take a deep breath.
"I'm so sorry for what I did to you then. I thought it was the right choice at the time. And I was scared. Kevin was this wonderful, safe option. I wasn't taking a risk with him. And you…I just knew I couldn't lose you. I need you to know, Barney, that I want to be with you. And I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, and maybe this will change absolutely nothing. But I needed to tell you that I want you. That I…love you. And if that means nothing to you now, I really do sincerely hope you have a great life with Quinn because I want you to be happy. But more than anything, I want you to be happy with me."
Barney visibly swallowed. "I'm happy with Quinn."
Robin put out her cigar against the brick wall behind her. She nodded, trying to collect herself.
"Okay," she whispered.
"I'm happy with Quinn," Barney repeated, "But I know I could be happier with you."
Robin bit her lip to hold back a whimper.
"How do I know this isn't going to be November all over again?" he asked.
"Because now I actually know what I want. And I didn't then. Or I was too scared to accept what it was I wanted. But honestly, now…I want it more than anything. You'd just have to trust that."
Barney took a step forward. "Okay," he whispered.
And suddenly his lips were on hers, and he was pressing her back against the brick wall, devouring her. She wrapped her arms around his neck swearing to herself that she'd never let go again.
After several moments, Barney pulled away, panting. "As much as I'd like to find a vacant hospital bed and continue this," he said with a grin, "If we're not going to make this a repeat of November, I'm going to need to break-up with Quinn."
Robin nodded as she caught her breath. "That's a good plan."
Barney tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"How's this sound?" he started."I'll talk to Quinn tonight, and then I'll come by your place, and we can talk about us."
She choked on a laugh and smiled. "Sounds great."
And late that night when Barney came knocking on Robin's door, they did talk. They laid it all out on the table. What they wanted, what they didn't want, what they needed to do to make sure things didn't fall apart like last time. And after that was over, they spent the rest of the night very actively not talking.
Fin.
Author: modernxxmyth
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Barney/Robin, ensemble
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Set after 7.21 Now We're Even. Involves some theories for the finale but no spoilers.
Summary: Some scotch, a birth, and a reunion.
Blue Prints for Future Homes
Robin was sitting in their booth at MacLaren's with Lily, staring into her glass of scotch, when Lily brought up Barney for the first time in a long time.
After the past several months of romantic triangle drama Robin and Barney and Ted had been going through, Lily had been walking on eggshells around Robin about the topic of romantic entanglements.
Lily sipped her iced water. "So, Robin…remember at Punchy's wedding when I realized you were still in love with Barney?"
Robin glared at her. "I don't recall."
Lily continued, "Are you…still in love with him? Now?"
"Of course not!"
"Okay, good."
Robin took a sip of her scotch. "Why good? I mean…yes. It is good."
"I think Barney is going to propose to Quinn!"
Robin choked on her drink. "He's what?"
"Ted found a ring. I just…thought you might want to know."
Robin downed the rest of her drink in a few quick gulps. She coughed.
"That is way too fast! Are you kidding me? What does he think he's playing at? How can he just…I mean, we…it's only been six months since…and he's hasn't even been with her very long…" She continued to splutter.
Lily pursed her lips, "Six months since what, Robin?"
"Huh?"
"You said it's only been six months since something. What happened six months ago?"
"Nothing!" she answered quickly.
"Where's the poop, Robin?"
"There's no poop," she insisted. "Nothing happened."
"Best friend card!" Lily exclaimed. "I am nine months pregnant. I am going to pop any day now. I am the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my entire life. You are telling me so I can take my mind off this!"
"I'm gonna need another scotch."
Robin returned from the bar a few minutes later, drink in hand, and sat down with a frown.
"So," Lily began, "You and Barney. Go."
Robin sighed. "Remember when Barney was freaking out about meeting Nora's parents, and Marshall let him take off the ducky tie?"
Lily nodded.
"That night we were sharing a cab home, and we just sort of got to reminiscing…"
"YOU HAD SEX IN THE CAB!"
"No!" Robin denied. "Okay, maybe there was a little hand stuff in the backseat before we got to the apartment, but no clothes came off until we were in private!"
"But you had sex?"
"Yeah." Robin bit her lip.
"You cheated on Kevin? Barney cheated on Nora?"
"Right in one."
Lily frowned in obvious disapproval. "Then what happened?"
"Barney told me the next day that he wanted to be with me. That he wanted to try again."
Robin swallowed the last of her second scotch and stared into the empty glass for several moments.
"We were supposed to break-up with Kevin and Nora. We were going to meet here later that night to talk about us. Barney went through with it. I didn't."
"Sweetie, why didn't you?"
She shrugged. "I thought Kevin was what I needed. He loved me, and he was so sweet. He was safe. He saw me as this incredible person. It was like I could do no wrong in his eyes. Barney saw me for the mess I am. I don't know. I guess I wanted to be seen for what Kevin saw in me. And the idea of being with Barney scared the shit out of me. Look at how it ended last time! And look at what's happened to me and Ted! I keep dating my best friends, and it's just ruined everything. Anyway, that's the gist of it."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"So you're still in love with Barney!"
"What? How did you get that out of what I just said!"
"A mother always knows, Robin."
"I'm pretty sure that phrase only applies to the mother of the person in question."
"Don't question me. I'm nine months pregnant. Don't think I won't sit on you."
"Fine! There may be some sort of vaguely romantic feelings in relation to Barney hanging around."
"That's the best I'm going to get out of you, isn't it?"
"You're lucky you got that much. I think it's the extent of my emotional capacity."
Lily snorted. "So what are you going to do about Quinn?"
Robin shrugged. "Nothing?"
"I could put my relationship sabotaging skills to use…"
"Never again, Lil. Don't you dare."
"Then you need to do something! You two belong together!"
"Says the woman who tried to break us up last time!"
Lily pouted. "That was different."
"Uh huh."
"You guys were destroying each other! But this time it would be different," she insisted.
"How do you know?" Robin asked, sounding a little more vulnerable than she'd like.
"Because this time you're ready for it. You've done your growing up. I think you guys both finally know what you want."
"Yeah, and what Barney wants is Quinn."
"Robin, it's Barney. You're all he's really wanted for years. You need to talk to him. You need to tell him how you feel."
"I don't know, Lily…"
"Best friend card!"
"I don't care how pregnant you are, you cannot play the best friend card twice in one conversation!"
"Pregnancy card!"
"Same rules apply."
"You need to do this, Robin."
"We'll see."
Lily let the argument drop for the time being.
* * *
It was very late that same night when Robin's phone lit up her room and started ringing. She groaned and grabbed it, checking the caller ID. It was Ted. Robin furrowed her brows. They hadn't had a conversation beyond that text her sent her after the helicopter incident in weeks. Understanding quickly dawned on her.
She answered the phone, "Is Lily having the baby?"
"Yep!" Ted replied. Robin thought she could almost hear the tears in his eyes.
"I'll meet you at the hospital."
* * *
Ted arrived first, as expected. When Robin showed up not long after, Ted was sitting in a chair in the waiting room, shaking his legs in anticipation. He looked nervous. When he saw Robin, his face softened. All of the resentment and complicated feelings between the pair of them disappeared in that moment. Robin crossed the room and hugged him.
"We're having a baby!" Ted exclaimed.
Robin laughed. "I guess we are, huh?"
They separated.
"Do I get to see you after this?" she ventured.
Ted smiled softly. "Yeah. Just try to get rid of me, Scherbatsky."
"So can we see them yet?"
"About that," he started. "Marshall's not here."
"WHAT?"
"I guess he and Barney were off in Atlantic City for what Barney dubbed 'a last day of freedom.'"
"Are they on their way?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, of course. They'll be here in a couple hours. Sounds like they've got plenty of time, though."
"If Marshall's not here, why the hell aren't you in there with Lily?"
"She may have kicked me out."
"Are you wearing your Team Baby shirt underneath that button-up?"
"Obviously. I also may have brought shirts for everyone else and tried to convince Lily to put one on over her hospital gown."
Robin sighed. "Show me to her room?"
* * *
"WHERE THE HELL IS MARSHALL?" Lily screamed for the umpteenth time, as she had during ever contraction so far.
"He'll be here soon, sweetie," Robin assured her, holding her hand tightly. "If I make him promise not to bring up Team Baby or be too clingy, can I let Ted back in? He did go to that birthing class with Marshall and probably knows more about this than I do…"
Lily grudgingly agreed it was a good idea.
* * *
Marshall and Barney showed up an hour later, looking completely ridiculous. Marshall was wearing some sort of custom made shirt that Robin didn't understand, and Barney was wearing the ducky tie again.
Marshall rushed to Lily's side and spent the next several hours apologizing profusely to her for not being there for her.
Robin pulled Barney aside for a moment. She gestured to his tie. "How the hell did you end up in that thing again?"
Barney looked down at his ensemble. "Oh, right. Lost a bet in the AC. Long story. Should be void now that we're back in the city, though."
He quickly took the tie off and stuffed it in his pocket.
"So," Robin began casually, "Is Quinn joining us?"
Barney shook his head. "She's working. She said she'd drop by when she got off if I wanted, but I told her she could just sleep."
Robin did her best to hold back a selfish smile.
"So Marshall and Lily are having a baby," he said in a serious tone.
Robin nodded. "They're having a baby."
She wondered if he was thinking what she was. Of their baby that had almost been.
Then Barney grabbed her hand and squeezed it briefly.
Yes, he must be.
She tried not to let it bother her when he let go.
* * *
The hours passed slowly, each of them bringing Lily ice chips in turn and trying to distract her from the pain she was in. Barney was briefly banned from the room because he kept performing magic. It was Robin who convinced them to let him back in after a 45-minute time out and a stern reprimand. They kept themselves stocked with shitty vending machine coffee to keep their eyes open. When hour eighteen rolled around, Dr. Sonya finally decreed they could take Lily and Marshall to the delivery room. Robin, Barney, and Ted were left in the waiting room, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and too much caffeine.
"I can't believe this is finally happening," Robin voiced. "Things are going to be so different from now on."
"We're not going to see them as much," Barney said.
"But it's going to be good," Ted decided. "It's going to be great. We're going to have a nephew to help raise."
"And corrupt," Robin added thoughtfully.
Barney chuckled.
"And corrupt," Ted acquiesced.
Robin took a sip of her coffee and cringed at the taste. It had been a long day. It was hard to believe it had been just yesterday when she was confessing to Lily about what was going on with her and Barney. Now she, Barney, and Ted were sitting together in the waiting room in companionable silence. The birth of their newest group member was bringing them back together, and Robin was thankful. She needed them both in her life. The group wasn't complete without all five of them.
She grabbed both of their hands and held on for dear life.
* * *
Eventually, Marshall came out of the delivery room, tears in his eyes and a grin on his face shouting, "It's a boy!"
They all stood up and ran to embrace him. Ted was crying instantly. Robin thought she may have even seen Barney well up momentarily.
"Can we see him?" Ted asked.
Marshall ushered them into the hospital room to meet his son.
Lily looked exhausted and pained, but absolutely the happiest Robin had ever seen her in her life.
She beamed. "Meet Stephen Marvin Aldrin-Eriksen."
Barney cleared his throat. "Why's he so…red?"
Robin hit him on the arm and hissed, "Don't insult the baby."
"All newborns look like that, Barney," Marshall answered.
"He's beautiful," Robin told the new parents.
They all took turns holding Stephen. Ted took off his button up and sported his Team Baby shirt when he had the honor of holding his nephew for the first time. Lily allowed it, now in a much better mood. A few tears sprouted in Robin's eyes when it was her turn.
"So do you hate him?" Lily asked.
Robin gave a watery laugh. "Nah. I think I might like this one."
Lily just barely concealed a smirk.
She passed the baby to Barney, who had an unreadable expression on his face as he held Stephen. Eventually, he cracked a smile.
"He's pretty cute," Barney said quietly. "Good work, guys."
Lily and Marshall laughed.
After about twenty minutes, Lily decided she wanted to get some sleep, and Ted, Robin, and Barney left the room.
Ted told Robin and Barney that he wanted some time alone - presumably, Robin assumed, to think about his own life and hopes of starting his own family.
Barney bumped his hip against Robin's.
"Want to take a walk?" he asked.
She nodded.
They walked at a leisurely pace. When they found themselves outside, Barney produced two cigars from his jacket pocket.
"It's tradition, right?" he asked.
Robin grinned and took the proffered cigar. "I'm pretty sure one of them is supposed to go to the father of the child."
"Please," Barney said. "Marshall smoked enough cigarettes on our way back from Atlantic City that I think he'll be off tobacco for a while."
They lit their cigars and puffed in silence for a few minutes.
"Do you want kids?" Robin asked all of a sudden. "I know neither of us wanted me to be pregnant when we thought…but for a while there you were pretty excited. Do you think you want kids?"
In that moment, it was the most important thing in the world to her that she knew his answer.
Barney took a puff from his cigar while he considered the question.
"No," he said honestly. "I've been doing some thinking about it ever since…and I don't think I do. You know I'd been warming up the idea of babies, but…I think being around all these kids that I can love the shit out of but not have to raise myself is going to be enough. I can be the world's most awesome uncle. That's going to be enough for me."
Robin breathed a sigh of relief she didn't know she'd been holding in.
"I can't have kids."
The words came spilling out of her mouth completely beyond her control.
"What?"
"After I had that appointment with Dr. Sonya, and we found out I wasn't pregnant, she asked me to come back in. I'm infertile."
Barney blinked. "I'm sorry."
Robin shrugged it off. "I mean, I didn't want kids to begin with. If it had to happen to someone, it's good it happened to me. But…" she broke off.
Barney nodded, not needing her to finish the thought. He knew. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"Yeah," was all he said. It was enough.
She didn't know if it was the lack of sleep or high level of emotions the day had brought, but Robin knew in that moment that she had to go for it.
"Don't propose to Quinn."
Barney dropped his arm from her shoulder and his cigar in the process. He took a step back. "What?"
"I know I have absolutely no right to ask you that, but Lily told me that Ted found a ring and thinks you're going to propose to her, and maybe this makes me a horrible selfish bitch, but I don't want you to. We could be great together, Barney. I know I had my chance in November and that I didn't take it."
She paused to take a deep breath.
"I'm so sorry for what I did to you then. I thought it was the right choice at the time. And I was scared. Kevin was this wonderful, safe option. I wasn't taking a risk with him. And you…I just knew I couldn't lose you. I need you to know, Barney, that I want to be with you. And I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, and maybe this will change absolutely nothing. But I needed to tell you that I want you. That I…love you. And if that means nothing to you now, I really do sincerely hope you have a great life with Quinn because I want you to be happy. But more than anything, I want you to be happy with me."
Barney visibly swallowed. "I'm happy with Quinn."
Robin put out her cigar against the brick wall behind her. She nodded, trying to collect herself.
"Okay," she whispered.
"I'm happy with Quinn," Barney repeated, "But I know I could be happier with you."
Robin bit her lip to hold back a whimper.
"How do I know this isn't going to be November all over again?" he asked.
"Because now I actually know what I want. And I didn't then. Or I was too scared to accept what it was I wanted. But honestly, now…I want it more than anything. You'd just have to trust that."
Barney took a step forward. "Okay," he whispered.
And suddenly his lips were on hers, and he was pressing her back against the brick wall, devouring her. She wrapped her arms around his neck swearing to herself that she'd never let go again.
After several moments, Barney pulled away, panting. "As much as I'd like to find a vacant hospital bed and continue this," he said with a grin, "If we're not going to make this a repeat of November, I'm going to need to break-up with Quinn."
Robin nodded as she caught her breath. "That's a good plan."
Barney tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"How's this sound?" he started."I'll talk to Quinn tonight, and then I'll come by your place, and we can talk about us."
She choked on a laugh and smiled. "Sounds great."
And late that night when Barney came knocking on Robin's door, they did talk. They laid it all out on the table. What they wanted, what they didn't want, what they needed to do to make sure things didn't fall apart like last time. And after that was over, they spent the rest of the night very actively not talking.
Fin.