NOT KID SAFE.
Non-Darren Shan fans will probably think I'm on something.
I won't ljcut this, because most of you will scroll past it. Long rants in all caps get messed up on my LJ anyway. I need a new layout.
ANYWAY.
FUCK ME WITH SOMETHING HARD AND POINTY.
THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAVE ENDED MY SHITTY DAY.
ARHTNSAIJNFLAKDSLJFKADS;FLDS'LFAS';DFA';SD;SALKF;KDLFGK;FGG;KGKF WHY GOD WHY.
I LIKE THE CHOICE OF SALMA HAYEK. REALLY, I FUCKING DO. THE PRODUCTION TEAM LIST WAS FUCKING AMAZING THE FIRST TIME I READ IT. MR. CREPSLEY IS NOT REALLY A COMEDIC ROLE SO I WAS DUBIOUS ABOUT JOHN C. REILLY, WHO I ONLY SAW IN COMEDIES BEFORE. BUT I GOT OVER IT. CHRIS MASSOGLIA IS CUTE AND SO IS JOSH HUTCHERSON. I THOUGHT MAYBE THEIR ROLES SHOULD HAVE BEEN REVERSED, BUT I GOT OVER IT.
BUT HONESTLY. THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH TO BARE.
Okay.
/end caps
Let me tell you what my problem is.
"Salma plays Madame Truska, the hirsute woman in a traveling freak show and girlfriend of the titular vampire who sprouts that nasty beard whenever she gets "passionate" with the vamp."
WTF!?
Was this, something that kind of sounds crucial to the plot of the movie, IN THE BOOK? WAS IT EVEN MENTIONED IN THE BOOK? WAS MADAME TRUSKA EVEN MORE THAT A PASSING CHARACTER IN THE SERIES? (I admit she had her moments) WAS MR. CREPSLEY INVOLVES WITH HER ROMANTICALLY?
NO.
I wouldn't really know about the last one, seeing as I didn't read the last few books, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Crepsley didn't have any love interests after that one butch vampire lady.
Secondly, her talent was growing her beard whenever she wanted to. It wasn't a sort of accidental thing. GOD, FUCK IT.
Nothing can make me stop looking foward to this movie. NOTHING. But this seriously put a damper on things.
I R DRAMA QUEEN, RIGHT?
I know, I know, the movie doesn't have to be exactly like the book blah blah blah. But why am I sensing they made Madame Truska a major character so Salma could have a bigger part?
YOU GAIZ TRUSKA APPEARED FOR ABOUT A COLLECTIVE AMOUNT OF FIFTY PAGES IN THE FIRST THREE BOOKS, FOR THE FUCKING MOST. AND NOW SHE HAS HER OWN PERSONALITY QUIRKS?
I DON'T THINK SO PAUL WEITZ.
IF THAT GREEN SHIT IS SUPPOSED TO BE EVRA VON I WILL
STAB
DARREN SHAN FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN.
HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SNAKE BOY, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY ATE SOUR APPLES AND SHAT ALL OVER HIM.
Yes, I said shat. That's how pissed I am.
I read that over and all I saw was WHINE WHINE characters WHINE WHINE plot WHINE WHINE green shit, but srsly. I have every right.
The only really good thing I've seen of it so far is the movie poster. FUCKING AWESOME :D
I have to wait for the trailer to make up my mind on this.
*___*
Thank you Perez, for ruining my day.
I won't ljcut this, because most of you will scroll past it. Long rants in all caps get messed up on my LJ anyway. I need a new layout.
ANYWAY.
FUCK ME WITH SOMETHING HARD AND POINTY.
THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAVE ENDED MY SHITTY DAY.
ARHTNSAIJNFLAKDSLJFKADS;FLDS'LFAS';DFA';SD;SALKF;KDLFGK;FGG;KGKF WHY GOD WHY.
I LIKE THE CHOICE OF SALMA HAYEK. REALLY, I FUCKING DO. THE PRODUCTION TEAM LIST WAS FUCKING AMAZING THE FIRST TIME I READ IT. MR. CREPSLEY IS NOT REALLY A COMEDIC ROLE SO I WAS DUBIOUS ABOUT JOHN C. REILLY, WHO I ONLY SAW IN COMEDIES BEFORE. BUT I GOT OVER IT. CHRIS MASSOGLIA IS CUTE AND SO IS JOSH HUTCHERSON. I THOUGHT MAYBE THEIR ROLES SHOULD HAVE BEEN REVERSED, BUT I GOT OVER IT.
BUT HONESTLY. THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH TO BARE.
Okay.
/end caps
Let me tell you what my problem is.
"Salma plays Madame Truska, the hirsute woman in a traveling freak show and girlfriend of the titular vampire who sprouts that nasty beard whenever she gets "passionate" with the vamp."
WTF!?
Was this, something that kind of sounds crucial to the plot of the movie, IN THE BOOK? WAS IT EVEN MENTIONED IN THE BOOK? WAS MADAME TRUSKA EVEN MORE THAT A PASSING CHARACTER IN THE SERIES? (I admit she had her moments) WAS MR. CREPSLEY INVOLVES WITH HER ROMANTICALLY?
NO.
I wouldn't really know about the last one, seeing as I didn't read the last few books, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Crepsley didn't have any love interests after that one butch vampire lady.
Secondly, her talent was growing her beard whenever she wanted to. It wasn't a sort of accidental thing. GOD, FUCK IT.
Nothing can make me stop looking foward to this movie. NOTHING. But this seriously put a damper on things.
I R DRAMA QUEEN, RIGHT?
I know, I know, the movie doesn't have to be exactly like the book blah blah blah. But why am I sensing they made Madame Truska a major character so Salma could have a bigger part?
YOU GAIZ TRUSKA APPEARED FOR ABOUT A COLLECTIVE AMOUNT OF FIFTY PAGES IN THE FIRST THREE BOOKS, FOR THE FUCKING MOST. AND NOW SHE HAS HER OWN PERSONALITY QUIRKS?
I DON'T THINK SO PAUL WEITZ.
IF THAT GREEN SHIT IS SUPPOSED TO BE EVRA VON I WILL
STAB
DARREN SHAN FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN.
HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SNAKE BOY, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY ATE SOUR APPLES AND SHAT ALL OVER HIM.
Yes, I said shat. That's how pissed I am.
I read that over and all I saw was WHINE WHINE characters WHINE WHINE plot WHINE WHINE green shit, but srsly. I have every right.
The only really good thing I've seen of it so far is the movie poster. FUCKING AWESOME :D
I have to wait for the trailer to make up my mind on this.
*___*
Thank you Perez, for ruining my day.