Are most men really that contradicted?
Or is it just certain men in UK?
I have nothing against British men, I do know some very nice guys but I'm beginning to think that these nice guys are considered 'oddballs' or a very, very small minority. Blame me for never liking the typical party-going, pub-crawling, alcohol-drinking 'soul of the party' a.k.a. the heartthrob or the cool guy; personally - I'm not much of a risk taker - I'd much prefer the 'Boy-next-door'. It is not that I don't want or think I can handle my heart being broken (I think, but then again, who wants their heart broken in the first place?), rather I feel under pressure to be someone else to actually catch his attention in the first place! This case is especially true for the UK cute/hot guys that I've had the pleasure of meeting - take note, 'meeting' not 'knowing'. It seems to me that most young adults here consider going to pubs or clubs are the reason to be and it is quite flabbergasting that all guys that are considered handsome party hard. When did partying hard = cool?
I might be a dreamer and old-fashioned (I'm sure many of my fellow sisters out there would agree though) but to me coolness is:
A healthy guy (i.e. preferably no smoking and definitely no drugs. I don't care what misguided teenagers think that drugs can heighten the spirit of a party or makes you feel better, drugs are NOT cool),
A sober guy (not that he can't drink or get hungover once in a while, after all we're human and it's bound to happen sometimes but all he can think about is drink and party, where's the fun in the other parts of life? And if all he can think about is alcohol when we're together, I would have serious doubts whether he actually enjoy my company),
A guy with a good realistic dream that he's working on (I'm not asking when he wants to have babies or whether you want to be a rock start or not, it's more like 'I want to be able to sustain myself 2 years after I start working and in 5 years time, I want to take care of my parents' need as well and one day if I can retire, i want to visit this place.'),
A guy with a dorky side (Call me a weirdo but nothing gets to me more than a guy that's occasionally self-conscious),
And a guy with a passion for something (like photography or jogging or anything...music is okay too I guess...but the type of passion I'm talking about is when I could ask him why he likes the song he has to have a better answer than 'it sounds good and everyone likes it and it's played in the clubs' - those are things even I could say.)
From reading a certain article from a well-known magazine in UK, I am inspired to make this post. I am quite astounded to find that while most men are quite willing to embrace the liberty of women these days, they're beginning to lose respect for those who still uphold certain values of the previous generations and these men who enjoy the 'benefits' of today's culture still oddly hold onto certain chauvinistic traditions. Below are my interpretations of what they're trying to say.
Mr. S starts off quite idealistically saying that to him marriage is 'a one-time thing'. I think it sounds quite sweet as with most of his other answers: he would give writing his wedding a go and he wants a 'huge' wedding and if he must he would call off a wedding 'six months before' the actual date 'to spare her feelings' because 'at one point you obviously cared for her a lot' and that 'wedding-night sex isn't that important.
However, Mr. S expects that the bride's family would pay for the 'huge' wedding (because it shows that she's 'confident') as 'it's traditional. Like the tradition of the bride getting married in her hometown'. He also doesn't think one can 'love someone completely to unless you have sex with them' and that while a girl 'can't expect (the wedding night sex) to be the most perfect sex ever', virgins until wedding 'doesn't happen anymore'. Along with that Mr. S also painted out a scenario of 'finding out on the wedding night she's an absolute flop'. Mr. S expects sex after marriage is 'lights off and missionary'.
My comments: I think Mr. S is trying to get the best of both worlds - while he eagerly enjoy the new sexual freedom, he's still unwilling to accept certain aspect of equality like paying for half of the wedding. I know many women who make it their personal choice to remain virgins until their marriage and they're all very great women, so I find that statement highly untrue. Also when one loves somebody, does it not mean acceptance? And doesn't acceptance mean no matter how bad the sex is (which I honestly think he has no right of complaining when he's the one who will be more likely to get an orgasm), it's okay because it can improve with practice? I think women are naturally more body-conscious therefore it is harder for them to open up. Mr. S expects his partner to be a modern independent woman with a good sexual appetite which is supposed to die once they marry.
Dear Mr. S, what do you really want?
Mr. G believes in marriages as well and looks to his parents as role-models. He is conscious of the fact there are families with multiple daughters therefore it can be difficult to afford for all the costs of wedding. He's also thought very thoroughly on when to 'consummating' the marriage - 'in the afternoon when you go back to your room to "freshen up"'. He is quite typically male when asked whether a woman should pack sexy treats for the honeymoon and he doesn't think two to three years without sex is possible. Mr. G, if cheated on, would 'let her get all the way to the altar and then ditch her there.'; he also want his bride to dress innocently and 'red lipstick is out too'
My comments: Although less traditional than Mr. S, he still wants a traditional wedding. I think the only fault I can say is that he's too vengeful.
Mr. C was engaged. He thinks marriage is not a big deal and wants 'a big stag do....go on holiday...and get a tan'. he doesn't 'like the pressure' of writing his wedding vows and thinks it's acceptable to call off a wedding 'right up until the day'. He doesn't like it when 'women put their hair up on their wedding day' and he doesn't like 'them wearing fancy underwear.' He thinks honeymoon is 'buy your wife a banana daiquiri, have a couple of quickies and get out for some sun.'
My comments: No wonder your girlfriend 'slam-dunked the righ back in my hand'. It's a wonder that she's still your girlfriend. This is a personal opinion but women put their hair up for reasons. 1) It keeps it from sticking to their neck (have you ever have that horrible feeling of long hair on your neck on a hot day??) 2) It shows the face better and it definitely won't take a bath in any food. 3) hair up is like you shaving for your wedding, Mr. C.
Mr. B makes very little contribution to conversation (clever man!) and seems to be very reasonable therefore I have nothing to comment on.
Mr. M makes little contribution as well however certain contributes such as: 'it's still your wedding - even if someone else is paying for it' to who is more important to invite friends or family; sex after marriage: 'you lose the thrill of the chase' and on wedding-night sex: 'not going to be much more than a drunken fumble. Mr. M must be very young and single. The latter part may stay that way too.
Comment!
I have nothing against British men, I do know some very nice guys but I'm beginning to think that these nice guys are considered 'oddballs' or a very, very small minority. Blame me for never liking the typical party-going, pub-crawling, alcohol-drinking 'soul of the party' a.k.a. the heartthrob or the cool guy; personally - I'm not much of a risk taker - I'd much prefer the 'Boy-next-door'. It is not that I don't want or think I can handle my heart being broken (I think, but then again, who wants their heart broken in the first place?), rather I feel under pressure to be someone else to actually catch his attention in the first place! This case is especially true for the UK cute/hot guys that I've had the pleasure of meeting - take note, 'meeting' not 'knowing'. It seems to me that most young adults here consider going to pubs or clubs are the reason to be and it is quite flabbergasting that all guys that are considered handsome party hard. When did partying hard = cool?
I might be a dreamer and old-fashioned (I'm sure many of my fellow sisters out there would agree though) but to me coolness is:
A healthy guy (i.e. preferably no smoking and definitely no drugs. I don't care what misguided teenagers think that drugs can heighten the spirit of a party or makes you feel better, drugs are NOT cool),
A sober guy (not that he can't drink or get hungover once in a while, after all we're human and it's bound to happen sometimes but all he can think about is drink and party, where's the fun in the other parts of life? And if all he can think about is alcohol when we're together, I would have serious doubts whether he actually enjoy my company),
A guy with a good realistic dream that he's working on (I'm not asking when he wants to have babies or whether you want to be a rock start or not, it's more like 'I want to be able to sustain myself 2 years after I start working and in 5 years time, I want to take care of my parents' need as well and one day if I can retire, i want to visit this place.'),
A guy with a dorky side (Call me a weirdo but nothing gets to me more than a guy that's occasionally self-conscious),
And a guy with a passion for something (like photography or jogging or anything...music is okay too I guess...but the type of passion I'm talking about is when I could ask him why he likes the song he has to have a better answer than 'it sounds good and everyone likes it and it's played in the clubs' - those are things even I could say.)
From reading a certain article from a well-known magazine in UK, I am inspired to make this post. I am quite astounded to find that while most men are quite willing to embrace the liberty of women these days, they're beginning to lose respect for those who still uphold certain values of the previous generations and these men who enjoy the 'benefits' of today's culture still oddly hold onto certain chauvinistic traditions. Below are my interpretations of what they're trying to say.
Mr. S starts off quite idealistically saying that to him marriage is 'a one-time thing'. I think it sounds quite sweet as with most of his other answers: he would give writing his wedding a go and he wants a 'huge' wedding and if he must he would call off a wedding 'six months before' the actual date 'to spare her feelings' because 'at one point you obviously cared for her a lot' and that 'wedding-night sex isn't that important.
However, Mr. S expects that the bride's family would pay for the 'huge' wedding (because it shows that she's 'confident') as 'it's traditional. Like the tradition of the bride getting married in her hometown'. He also doesn't think one can 'love someone completely to unless you have sex with them' and that while a girl 'can't expect (the wedding night sex) to be the most perfect sex ever', virgins until wedding 'doesn't happen anymore'. Along with that Mr. S also painted out a scenario of 'finding out on the wedding night she's an absolute flop'. Mr. S expects sex after marriage is 'lights off and missionary'.
My comments: I think Mr. S is trying to get the best of both worlds - while he eagerly enjoy the new sexual freedom, he's still unwilling to accept certain aspect of equality like paying for half of the wedding. I know many women who make it their personal choice to remain virgins until their marriage and they're all very great women, so I find that statement highly untrue. Also when one loves somebody, does it not mean acceptance? And doesn't acceptance mean no matter how bad the sex is (which I honestly think he has no right of complaining when he's the one who will be more likely to get an orgasm), it's okay because it can improve with practice? I think women are naturally more body-conscious therefore it is harder for them to open up. Mr. S expects his partner to be a modern independent woman with a good sexual appetite which is supposed to die once they marry.
Dear Mr. S, what do you really want?
Mr. G believes in marriages as well and looks to his parents as role-models. He is conscious of the fact there are families with multiple daughters therefore it can be difficult to afford for all the costs of wedding. He's also thought very thoroughly on when to 'consummating' the marriage - 'in the afternoon when you go back to your room to "freshen up"'. He is quite typically male when asked whether a woman should pack sexy treats for the honeymoon and he doesn't think two to three years without sex is possible. Mr. G, if cheated on, would 'let her get all the way to the altar and then ditch her there.'; he also want his bride to dress innocently and 'red lipstick is out too'
My comments: Although less traditional than Mr. S, he still wants a traditional wedding. I think the only fault I can say is that he's too vengeful.
Mr. C was engaged. He thinks marriage is not a big deal and wants 'a big stag do....go on holiday...and get a tan'. he doesn't 'like the pressure' of writing his wedding vows and thinks it's acceptable to call off a wedding 'right up until the day'. He doesn't like it when 'women put their hair up on their wedding day' and he doesn't like 'them wearing fancy underwear.' He thinks honeymoon is 'buy your wife a banana daiquiri, have a couple of quickies and get out for some sun.'
My comments: No wonder your girlfriend 'slam-dunked the righ back in my hand'. It's a wonder that she's still your girlfriend. This is a personal opinion but women put their hair up for reasons. 1) It keeps it from sticking to their neck (have you ever have that horrible feeling of long hair on your neck on a hot day??) 2) It shows the face better and it definitely won't take a bath in any food. 3) hair up is like you shaving for your wedding, Mr. C.
Mr. B makes very little contribution to conversation (clever man!) and seems to be very reasonable therefore I have nothing to comment on.
Mr. M makes little contribution as well however certain contributes such as: 'it's still your wedding - even if someone else is paying for it' to who is more important to invite friends or family; sex after marriage: 'you lose the thrill of the chase' and on wedding-night sex: 'not going to be much more than a drunken fumble. Mr. M must be very young and single. The latter part may stay that way too.
Comment!