I smile at Wes when he shyly admits to not having much of a brain left. "I don't think that's a problem as long as you're feeling good right now. That was our goal, after all," I say, dropping tiny kisses along his face and neck.
"I'm gonna need these covers off though if you want that re-introduction," I add, peeling back the few bits of blankets and sheets that he's sneakily already managed to pull over himself.
Smiling at him, I slide down along his body, my hands already reaching out to rub at his hips. I'm sure I can add those to his list of aching and swollen joints. Both hips get rubbed and warmed (from the friction, of course) while I covertly ogle my prize.
Next on my list is those normally knobby knees, that truly are swollen enough to make them look like they might if Wesley weren't as thin as he is. Was. Whatever. My hands curl around one, kneading and applying a gentle pressure to get the fluid settling there to ease the aching for a bit, moving easily to the other one and back, my eyes flickering up to Wes' now and then.
Sliding down further, my hands skim over his skin until I can sit at he feet, propping one clean one against my chest - lifting it off the bed so he can see it. "Wes meet your right foot," I tease, massaging along the top first before digging my fingers into the bottoms. I give the top of it a tiny kiss before switching to the other one, introducing to his left foot as well. "So what do you think, is it good to see them," I ask, still massaging the second one.
Oh. Well. Yes, I suppose we were. I mean, I suppose that *is* our goal. If only his kisses would work in the long term. Doubt he can go around kissing me all day. Even if I weren't looking to hit him 80% of the time if he were to try for no reason. My hitting him has no reason, not him kissing me. That has every reason but with my hormones going awry one never knows what'll happen.
Seems to work out for the best now. Thank god. And I really would like the covers back. "Oh-- I... but," I stammer, wondering why he'd need the covers if he's going to-- whatever it is he's going to do. Can't help but pull some of it over my groin area again when he slips down my overly big, huge, enormous body. God, I must look like a swollen up water melon or some such.
With a sigh I lean back, somewhat fearfully - again for no reason what so ever - clutching the sheets to make certain some part of my body stays covers. If I could I'd cover all of it just so Angel wont have to look at it. That horrible, fat, big-- ow. My knees are really giving me the most trouble it would seem.
At first Angel's touch hurts, making me squeeze my eyes tightly shut. Lips draw into a thin line while I take a few careful breaths. What is that saying? It'll get worse before it gets better? That certainly seems to be the case here. It a few moments of biting the bullet or some such but then it gets better. Far, far better. A content sigh gets out while he works my knees and lord he could do that for me three times per day if he could.
"That does feel heavenly," I murmur, watching him through narrowed eyes. It's his next move that has me laughing out loud though. If only for a moment before it tampers off into a chuckle. Bloody hell, what a dork as Cordelia would say. But he's my dork and I think I just fell in love with him all over.
"They've grown since the last time I saw them," I tell him, a rueful looking making its way to my face. "The seem to resemble balloons, much like the rest of my body," I sigh the latter. Still, there's this soft smile curling the corner of my lips as I look at that sweet, sweet, gorgeous vampire of mine.
"Ooooh that really does feel so good. Thank you, love." Goodness, you'd think I'm having an orgasm. This? At the moment though, is so much better then sex. Bloody hell.
Laughing, that too I haven't heard in a few days. And the smile that goes with it is gorgeous. I'm just happy he's happy and relaxing. And so there's a smile to meet Wes' when he looks at me.
"Any time," I murmur, continuing to massage his feet and his knees again for a little while. His body's been working very hard, it seems like. But it's relaxing bit by bit. He's more pliant now than when I started, that's for sure.
More covered up as well, I'm noticing. He really is quite sneaky about pulling those covers over himself. While I'm dismayed, I'm not surprised. This is Wes we're talking about here, so covered up is his natural state most of the time anyway.
Finally, finally, I give up before he turns entirely to Jell-o, my hands skimming back up over him so I can lie on my side next to him again, hand resting on his stomach.
"Feel better?" I ask, tugging the covers up more completely over both of us so that Wes doesn't get cold. I rub my hand in circles over his belly, delighting in this new aspect of him, even if he doesn't want me to see it. Or any of the rest of him right now. His shoulder gets a kiss, and I get to wallow in the knowledge that we're both naked under here. Something we haven't been in a long while. I'm naked pretty often, but with the onset of Wes' new weight, he's been covered head-to-toe in pajamas most of the time. Naked is nice, I think with my hand still curving freely over his belly.
"Hmmm, I wish," I murmur almost regretfully. Anytime would mean I'd be in the mood anytime and we both know that's less and less the case. Hell, even our friends know. They've been avoiding me at certain times - and not such certain times - as well for the last few months. I swear, I just wanted to slap the smirk off Cordelia's face when she heard what was wong and went 'I told you so'. I've been horrified with myself for just thinking that.
And that's just a mild example of the things raging rampant in my mind lately. It's frightening. What good fortune that I've so much patience build up. Even tough it's wearing thinner and thinner.
Not so thin right now. What is getting worse is my body. Turning to jello. which is so different from its usually stiff, painful, tension filled stated it truly is like heaven. All I can do is lay there and let Angel do his magic. All the while humming and groaning and making otherwise completely embarrassing sounds.
I think I may have turned completely into goo by the time Angel crawls back up again. Instantly I miss his touch, but its back seconds later, rubbing circles on my stomach. Prying my eyes open I smile at him, even more grateful when he pulls the covers up higher. My pyjama's are missed but feel far to good to move. In any way.
"Hmmm," I hum, managing against all odds to move an arm. The back of my fingers brush lovingly over his soft face, thumb tracing his lips. "Very much so," I assure him with a content sigh. "I might actually fall asleep just like that. And be happy, because I've seen my long lost feet," I add jokingly.
"I'm glad I could show you your feet," I murmur in his ear, giving it a nibble, smiling myself at the soft touches to my cheek. "Can't have you missing those for too long," I whisper, hand moving over his chest, wherever I can reach to touch more of his skin.
The content look is enough to have me wanting to just pet him to sleep, make sure he stays as relaxed as he now until he drifts off, but the other part of me wants to make him as gooey as possible. Then he'll be out like a light for sure.
"Can't have you missing this for too long either," I say in hushed tones as my hand dips lower, brushing over his cock. The touch alone makes me shiver. Haven't done that in a while.
"You feel good," I murmur, nibbling at his ear again, my hand resting lightly over his cock. "I like being naked with you," I add just so he knows what I mean. "I've missed you," I whisper at the risk of spoiling the mood. Not that I haven't gotten attacked and ravished = we've certainly had sex, just-- Wes has been a little too fragile emotionally that anything more intimate than satisfying that hunger has been...perilous might be the right word. And that could happen now, but I'm hoping it won't. I don't want anything for myself really, just want him to feel good. And I know how he likes being touched. Which is just what I do, my fingers massaging his cock, slipping lower and lower to curl around his balls.
All I'm capable of is a hum of agreement when he tells me about the missing feet. Makes me think of another part of my body I haven't seen in what seems a life time. A part which Angel wont be showing me so easily as he did with my feet. Oh I've *felt* that part of my body. Good lord did I ever, especially in the last few months. When it seemed sex was like a drugs I needed to have.
Sometimes still do, though it's gotten less and less as my body got more swollen.
It's funny, I think when I feel Angel's hand move from my chest down, down, down... that the bloody vampire can read my mind. Or maybe I'm projecting my thoughts into his. I don't care at the moment, I feel to content and - bizarrely - relaxed to care much about anything. It's also funny, that despite the fact that I *knew* where that hand was going? It's still somewhat of a show when his hand curls around my cock.
"Angel," I breathe, realizing that by now my body has gotten big enough that arching off the bed - something which happened automatically in the past with *that* touch - just isn't possible anymore. Instead there's a slight jerk of hips as lips part and a gasp gets out. What still does seem to work on autopilot is the way I spread my thighs so Angel can have all the access he wants.
"Ohhhh, yes. I mean, you do?" Well, of course I knew he like being naked with me. I've known that from the start. Silly vampire. It's his next words that have me looking at him with a guilt that seems to course through my body like poison.
"But I was right here," I try feebly, half knowing what he means and half refusing to know what he means. "I'm sorry," I pant, torn between withering at his touch and-- doing something which would really spoil the mood. Pull yourself together man! Haven't you behaved like a revolting man enough! "Oh! God..." There's a jerk follow by a shiver and it would seem my mind is starting to abandon me.
For once, I think I may not really care about that.
That breathy way he says my name - almost exactly the same way he says it every time I close my hand around his shaft - has me thinking that this was so worth it. That was exactly the sound I wanted to hear.
It's when he pushes his legs apart for me that all feels right with the world. I didn't even have to ask, though I was about to. "Good, yeah, just like that," I purr in his ear, fondling his balls so that they fill my palm.
"I do. I like feeling your skin against mine," I tell him, emphasizing my words by pressing the length of my body against his. Not only do I like the feel of his skin, but I can feel all the blood pumping underneath, I can feel when his muscles tense and relax... I can feel nearly everything.
But I don't have to be naked with him to hear that miserable tone to his voice after I tell him I've missed him. "I know, it's okay," I tell him, turning his chin so we can kiss. "It's okay, tiger," I murmur against his lips, and leaning my forehead against his. "I've got you now," I add, making sure to double up my efforts so that he doesn't have time to dwell on my idiot words any further. Fingers slide away from his balls to squeeze his shaft, stroking it painfully slowly, grip tightening around the thicker head. A small moan slips out of me just at the feel of him in my hand. But this isn't about me, it's about Wes, I tell myself firmly.
"You're so beautiful," I murmur, before kissing him deeply so that he can't protest. No more protesting tonight. "Always want you, need you," I add, kissing him again more delicately while I pick up the pace on his straining cock. "Always going to be mine," I add, eyes meeting his this time. And slowing down my hand, thumb teasing the tip over and over. I'm so not smirking. Nope, not me.
"Oh..." I breathe, thinking I sound like an utter fool because I knew that. I knew he liked to feel my skin against his. Bloody... It's amazing how his touch, even a light one, can make my mind go blank and it's all his fault. It's been so long though since I've been just *touched* there like this. Hard, mostly angry and wild and needy, sex is something else entirely.
As relaxed and jello like as I was moment ago thanks to Angel, the less I'm becoming now. Also thanks to Angel. I thought the idea was for me to relax but for some reason I can't seem to mind much. There's just something very erotic about watching his hand vanish under the covers and watching them move up and down, up and down, *there*. Knowing what they're doing, *feeling* what they're dong.
"Oh! Ohhhh god, bloody-- Angel," I can't help but pant. Fingers clench in the sheets, fisting them into a tight balls. Legs slip even further apart, as much as possible in my current state. A fine sheen of sweat is starting to cover my skin and for a brief moment I think what a shame it is we took a bath only seconds ago. But it's only for a very brief moment before Angel makes me loose track of my thoughts once again.
"I-- I... Angel I-- Hmmmm..." And hand comes up to cup the back of his head when his mouth once again descents on mine. Hips try to jerk up but the body they try to move is to heavy to do so. Doesn't mean the feeling isn't there. Its just a little more *frustrating* to not be able to push my cock into his hand. Good thing he's kissing me. I love it when he's kissing me.
Did I mention it's been quite a while since I've done this? Since *we've* done this? Which is probably the reason I can feel my balls tightening and drawing up so soon. Lips part as I pant for breath, tongue snaking out to wet them. Eyes are squeezes shut as my heart and breathing picks up with every stroke of his hand.
"Angel I-- can't-- I have to-- please," I plead, still unable to come *without* his permission. Even now. "Please, my love, my Angel..."
He's so gorgeous. So edible the way his cheeks have flushed with arousal so quickly, and I know that he's close. Can feel it too the way his body starts to tense and his balls- I reach down to give them another squeeze, knowing exactly how close he is before he starts squirming and begging for permission.
That's still hot as hell.
I'm not disappointed that he can't fight it off anymore. Kind of expected it actually. And I'll be honest, it's damn hot knowing that it only takes a few strokes, a few moments of the blankets poking up and down to have him writhing - or trying to - and begging me to let him come. So amazing and he's mine, all mine.
I pump him faster, harder - enjoying the suggestive movement of the covers before meeting his eyes and the pleading look in them. "That's it, tiger, come for me," I whisper, knowing he only needs the barest words. "Let me feel you come," I whisper, tugging on his ear with my teeth, feeling the release while it happens and stroking him tighter and slower as it happens.
Beautiful, beautiful man, I think as I watch his body tense and release until he's a limp mess. *Now* he's relaxed. I bet he'll barely be able to flutter his eyelashes at me before he's asleep, I think with amusement, my hand still sliding over his shaft, savoring the feel of him in case it's a few *more* months before we get to do this again.
How much my begging turns him on is not secret. At least not between Angel and I. Not that anyone else should have to know, that's *our* little thing. Right now, however, I don't care how much it turns him on. All I care about is reaching that point of no return. That point where you happily hurdle headlong down the cliff of pure pleasure.
So I keep looking at my Angel, waiting for that permission for him to come. And wonders of wonders - or maybe not such a wonder considering my state and moods lately - he doesn't dawdle this time. He doesn't prolong it. Doesn't show any tiny signs of Angelus by prolonging the torture. He just tells me to come, tells me he wants to feel me climax.
And that's all I really need. Just those few words, a specific look if there are no words and I'm hurtling headlong down that cliff. Only to get caught on that cloud of pure pleasure floating me along. I know I'm crying out, a hoarse whimpering cry. Followed by Angel's name falling from my lips as I whisper it. There might even be a few curses there.
I don't really know. All I know is that my back, my muscles, my stomach haven't felt that relaxed in weeks. Has it really been that long since we-- we had sex? To be honest, that hard, needy sort where I'd jump Angel anywhere hasn't been able to relax me like this. This is sudden, unexpected... a gift. A gift from my love, my life, my everything.
"Hmmm," I mumble, a satisfied smirk sliding on my face. I let my head roll to the side to look at Angel through narrowed eyes. "Love you, my Angel," I slur. A hand clumsily tries to find it's way under the covers, landing on Angel's hip. I think its his hip anyway. "Just give me a moment--" a yawn interrupts that line, while my eyes seem to close on their own accord. "wano give hand..." So tired. So exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week. Another thing which hasn't happened in a *long* time.
Getting to watch him, feel him while all of this washes over him - the tension, the following release, and the bliss and love on his face - is such a gift. I never imagined anything like this. Nothing as intimate as this with me and anyone else. A small voice still likes to tell me that I don't deserve things like this, but it's easy to ignore when I feel the slight pulse of the mark on my chest and the look in Wesley's eyes as he pants up at me.
A soft chuckle escapes me as his hand tries to fumble around under the covers to help me out - mostly because he really, truly is half asleep. Once I finally release Wes' cock with a last twist of my wrist, my hand slowly covers his on my hip. "Love you too, tiger." His shoulder gets a kiss as I smile at his blissful face, his slurred words.
"I'll take you up on that later," I whisper, rubbing my hand over his and leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Sleep, Wes," I murmur, kissing him softly. I bring his hand up with mine to kiss. He needs this. Has needed it for a long, long time. My sweet Wes. I can hear Connor in the other room making baby noises like he's having a dream, but doesn't sound like a bad one. I have to remind myself that this life is always in danger just to make sure this quiet contentment doesn't drift over into a perfect moment of happiness. I get closer to those moments when things are quiet like this. And I have a feeling they'll happen a lot more when our second child is born.
But I'm getting better at watching out for them, surprisingly enough. You're happy often enough and... it's not as easy to get caught off guard. Well, so far. That's something I never expected to happen since I never thought I'd have reason to be this happy all the time. It's good, I think though, looking down at Wes' and smooth hair back from his sleeping face.
"But wasabout you?" I'm barely able to mumble when he pulls my hand away from his cock. His, I have no doubt, straining cock. I mean, he always gets turned on when he does this for me. I may not be able to recognize it normally, but I'm far, far to exhausted at the moment to deny it. It seems touching me turns Angel on beyond believe. I don't know why; certainly don't understand it now with me looking this hideous. But at the moment I do realize that.
But my hand falls on the bed without being used for good. Actually, it doesn't even fall on the bed at all. I never get there. Instead it seems to fly up and there's a smile appearing on my face like magic when I feel Angel's lips against the back of it. He's so, so sweet and all I'm able to do lately is nag at him, curse at him and god only knows what else. I'm not certain if I'd have had the patience to not explode if the situation were reverse.
"Shoul-elp you," I slur, but am no longer actually trying. What I am trying instead is rolling on my side. Not an easy thing to do when one is the size of a small whale let me tell you. But once I'm rolling I have to be careful not to roll completely around. Angel is there to stop me though as luck would have it and a sigh of contempt gets out at the feeling of his naked skin against mine.
"Lovyou." Yawning, I slip a leg between his, reveling in the warmth it has, which no doubt has been stolen from me. But if I have it it's Angel's to have as well. Though, after we found out my-- situation, he's not taken any more blood. I miss that. I wonder if it would still taste the same to him now or if it's the same. Probably the latter? Or he'd have noticed sooner, I keep thinking as I sink back into sleep. Thoughts like these, these wondrous, in awe thoughts, are far more preferable then the usually worried once I have.
The only reason I can come up with for not having them not, for being able to fall asleep right away, is right there pressed against me. Right there with my arms folded around me, my legs tangled with his.
Angel.
And there's this beaming smile on my face as I slip into a deeper, and for the first time since a long time, peaceful sleep.
That smile on his face as he drifts off keeps me from thinking of much of anything else for quite awhile. Namely the wood between my legs, but I've conquered a lot more than that in all my years.
...He just looks so peaceful, and I can't tear my eyes off him much less think about myself. My body reacts to him without my bidding often enough, I think I can resist this once. "Love you too," I whisper after I feel his heartbeat slow into sleeping. Even the devious leg between mine isn't going to get me to move.
Or to stop looking at that beautiful face and feeling his skin next to mine. This is so peaceful. Moreso than anything we've done together in the last few months. "Love you," I whisper again, just to hear the words. He's all mine, I think, finally braving more of a touch once my erection has flagged a bit.
My hand curves over his stomach automatically, feeling for that other heartbeat I can hear faintly underneath Wes'. "Love you too," I whisper to our baby, rubbing Wesley's stomach softly. Connor's murmurings in the other room as if he's already worried about not being loved as much have me smiling. As if he could ever be replaced. Two miracle children. Each just as miraculous as the other. Amazing.
And I get to share it with this man, I think as I watch him sleep.
If there is one thing I can be certain off lately, it's not the fact that there will always be nightmares whenever I fall asleep. Just having Angel close by chase those away, having him touch me is a certain remedy of them never returning or even showing up that night. It's not the fact that there are things going through my mind over and over and over again. No, I'm to exhausted lately for that to happen. Not only my body is exhausted to the point of giving up at the end of the day, but my mind is as well. Nor is it any of the other big and minor things that keep me awake at night.
No, if there's one thing I can be certain off lately is that I wake up to early. Far, far, too really, never really getting *enough* sleep. It's either my back acting up, or a cramp in some muscle or other, feeling sick, having to take a pee, hunger, feeling the child kick or move. Or a combination of all before mentioned when I'm having a very bad day.
Right now, however, Angel's little action have not only me relaxed but the baby as well. Not-- that I should think about the why's of that to deeply. That would be entirely to creepy if one is honest. I'll just keep telling myself that the child is so quiet due to Angel's hand rubbing back and forth of my bare stomach. Come to think of it, I seem to be bare everywhere. Good lord, when was the last time that happened?
I turn my head a little to glance at Angel. He looks so happy, not to happy mind. But still, happy. That small playing on his face, the way his large hand keeps rubbing over my stomach, the way those eyes have closed and he's *almost* humming a tune. I know he's not sleeping, not really. Being a vampire makes him not need as much sleep as we humans do. He looks far more relaxed then I've seen him in a while.
And once again I'm about to interrupt that, bastard that I am.
"Angel," I murmur quietly after clearing my throat. "I ah-- need to go to the bathroom." What time is it anyway? I feel as though I've slept for hours on end and if the ravenous hunger is anything... Actually, my hunger feelings aren't anything to go by lately are they? Still, I really need to use the bathroom. Fast.
"Hmm?" It startles me a little when Wes says my name, but only enough that my eyes immediately flick to his. I was too busy studying him to notice that he was waking up, I guess.
But awake he is and it's already time for the bathroom trips to start. I wonder which sort this one is. No, actually I don't wonder, because I'd rather not know. Not that I'm not right there when Wes throws up, but vomit is a rough smell on the vampire nose day in and day out. I can tune out a lot of smells, but...
And that is just not how I want us to continue this relaxing. But it's not like I have a choice in the matter is it? Can't always get what you want, whiny vampire boy as Cordy might say. Heh. Nah, it doesn't really matter. As long as we get through these next few months intact, I won't care how our mornings or nights start.
"Need any help, tiger?" I ask him, already pulling back the covers for his newly large frame. What I really mean to ask is if he needs any help getting up or moving, but I know better than to ask that by now. And while I didn't make him throw up the last time I carried him to the bathroom, I don't think I want to test whether that'll be the case every time. So I'll give him a helping hand out of bed, but I'll be letting him waddle to the bathroom on his own, I think. Besides, it irks him when I hover. It does, I can tell.
Rolling from one side to the other I realized that soon I wont be able to get out of bed on my own. At least not without some acrobatic tricks. And lets face it, looking like this? Acrobatic tricks aren't going to happen any time soon. Besides, I'd look ridiculous. Even more ridiculous that is, I look like a beached whale as it is.
When Angel pulls back the covers my enormous stomach, belly, something is staring me right in the face. There's just no way around it and it'll only grow larger over the next months. God, I hope being a man doesn't mean I have to do this *longer* then those usual nine month's. If it were up to me then this child would be here already.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.
"If you could--" I start, grunting as I roll over to my side, "-- fetch my robe? Please?" Sweat is starting to break out and I realize that if I keep this up I might not just need to rush to the bathroom to take a piss. With a defeated sigh I stop rolling and close my eyes. My hand comes up to rub over my face as I muffle a groan into it.
"And if you could help me up and out of bed?" I ask with a small voice.
"I'm gonna need these covers off though if you want that re-introduction," I add, peeling back the few bits of blankets and sheets that he's sneakily already managed to pull over himself.
Smiling at him, I slide down along his body, my hands already reaching out to rub at his hips. I'm sure I can add those to his list of aching and swollen joints. Both hips get rubbed and warmed (from the friction, of course) while I covertly ogle my prize.
Next on my list is those normally knobby knees, that truly are swollen enough to make them look like they might if Wesley weren't as thin as he is. Was. Whatever. My hands curl around one, kneading and applying a gentle pressure to get the fluid settling there to ease the aching for a bit, moving easily to the other one and back, my eyes flickering up to Wes' now and then.
Sliding down further, my hands skim over his skin until I can sit at he feet, propping one clean one against my chest - lifting it off the bed so he can see it. "Wes meet your right foot," I tease, massaging along the top first before digging my fingers into the bottoms. I give the top of it a tiny kiss before switching to the other one, introducing to his left foot as well. "So what do you think, is it good to see them," I ask, still massaging the second one.
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Seems to work out for the best now. Thank god. And I really would like the covers back. "Oh-- I... but," I stammer, wondering why he'd need the covers if he's going to-- whatever it is he's going to do. Can't help but pull some of it over my groin area again when he slips down my overly big, huge, enormous body. God, I must look like a swollen up water melon or some such.
With a sigh I lean back, somewhat fearfully - again for no reason what so ever - clutching the sheets to make certain some part of my body stays covers. If I could I'd cover all of it just so Angel wont have to look at it. That horrible, fat, big-- ow. My knees are really giving me the most trouble it would seem.
At first Angel's touch hurts, making me squeeze my eyes tightly shut. Lips draw into a thin line while I take a few careful breaths. What is that saying? It'll get worse before it gets better? That certainly seems to be the case here. It a few moments of biting the bullet or some such but then it gets better. Far, far better. A content sigh gets out while he works my knees and lord he could do that for me three times per day if he could.
"That does feel heavenly," I murmur, watching him through narrowed eyes. It's his next move that has me laughing out loud though. If only for a moment before it tampers off into a chuckle. Bloody hell, what a dork as Cordelia would say. But he's my dork and I think I just fell in love with him all over.
"They've grown since the last time I saw them," I tell him, a rueful looking making its way to my face. "The seem to resemble balloons, much like the rest of my body," I sigh the latter. Still, there's this soft smile curling the corner of my lips as I look at that sweet, sweet, gorgeous vampire of mine.
"Ooooh that really does feel so good. Thank you, love." Goodness, you'd think I'm having an orgasm. This? At the moment though, is so much better then sex. Bloody hell.
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"Any time," I murmur, continuing to massage his feet and his knees again for a little while. His body's been working very hard, it seems like. But it's relaxing bit by bit. He's more pliant now than when I started, that's for sure.
More covered up as well, I'm noticing. He really is quite sneaky about pulling those covers over himself. While I'm dismayed, I'm not surprised. This is Wes we're talking about here, so covered up is his natural state most of the time anyway.
Finally, finally, I give up before he turns entirely to Jell-o, my hands skimming back up over him so I can lie on my side next to him again, hand resting on his stomach.
"Feel better?" I ask, tugging the covers up more completely over both of us so that Wes doesn't get cold. I rub my hand in circles over his belly, delighting in this new aspect of him, even if he doesn't want me to see it. Or any of the rest of him right now. His shoulder gets a kiss, and I get to wallow in the knowledge that we're both naked under here. Something we haven't been in a long while. I'm naked pretty often, but with the onset of Wes' new weight, he's been covered head-to-toe in pajamas most of the time. Naked is nice, I think with my hand still curving freely over his belly.
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And that's just a mild example of the things raging rampant in my mind lately. It's frightening. What good fortune that I've so much patience build up. Even tough it's wearing thinner and thinner.
Not so thin right now. What is getting worse is my body. Turning to jello. which is so different from its usually stiff, painful, tension filled stated it truly is like heaven. All I can do is lay there and let Angel do his magic. All the while humming and groaning and making otherwise completely embarrassing sounds.
I think I may have turned completely into goo by the time Angel crawls back up again. Instantly I miss his touch, but its back seconds later, rubbing circles on my stomach. Prying my eyes open I smile at him, even more grateful when he pulls the covers up higher. My pyjama's are missed but feel far to good to move. In any way.
"Hmmm," I hum, managing against all odds to move an arm. The back of my fingers brush lovingly over his soft face, thumb tracing his lips. "Very much so," I assure him with a content sigh. "I might actually fall asleep just like that. And be happy, because I've seen my long lost feet," I add jokingly.
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The content look is enough to have me wanting to just pet him to sleep, make sure he stays as relaxed as he now until he drifts off, but the other part of me wants to make him as gooey as possible. Then he'll be out like a light for sure.
"Can't have you missing this for too long either," I say in hushed tones as my hand dips lower, brushing over his cock. The touch alone makes me shiver. Haven't done that in a while.
"You feel good," I murmur, nibbling at his ear again, my hand resting lightly over his cock. "I like being naked with you," I add just so he knows what I mean. "I've missed you," I whisper at the risk of spoiling the mood. Not that I haven't gotten attacked and ravished = we've certainly had sex, just-- Wes has been a little too fragile emotionally that anything more intimate than satisfying that hunger has been...perilous might be the right word. And that could happen now, but I'm hoping it won't. I don't want anything for myself really, just want him to feel good. And I know how he likes being touched. Which is just what I do, my fingers massaging his cock, slipping lower and lower to curl around his balls.
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Sometimes still do, though it's gotten less and less as my body got more swollen.
It's funny, I think when I feel Angel's hand move from my chest down, down, down... that the bloody vampire can read my mind. Or maybe I'm projecting my thoughts into his. I don't care at the moment, I feel to content and - bizarrely - relaxed to care much about anything. It's also funny, that despite the fact that I *knew* where that hand was going? It's still somewhat of a show when his hand curls around my cock.
"Angel," I breathe, realizing that by now my body has gotten big enough that arching off the bed - something which happened automatically in the past with *that* touch - just isn't possible anymore. Instead there's a slight jerk of hips as lips part and a gasp gets out. What still does seem to work on autopilot is the way I spread my thighs so Angel can have all the access he wants.
"Ohhhh, yes. I mean, you do?" Well, of course I knew he like being naked with me. I've known that from the start. Silly vampire. It's his next words that have me looking at him with a guilt that seems to course through my body like poison.
"But I was right here," I try feebly, half knowing what he means and half refusing to know what he means. "I'm sorry," I pant, torn between withering at his touch and-- doing something which would really spoil the mood. Pull yourself together man! Haven't you behaved like a revolting man enough! "Oh! God..." There's a jerk follow by a shiver and it would seem my mind is starting to abandon me.
For once, I think I may not really care about that.
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It's when he pushes his legs apart for me that all feels right with the world. I didn't even have to ask, though I was about to. "Good, yeah, just like that," I purr in his ear, fondling his balls so that they fill my palm.
"I do. I like feeling your skin against mine," I tell him, emphasizing my words by pressing the length of my body against his. Not only do I like the feel of his skin, but I can feel all the blood pumping underneath, I can feel when his muscles tense and relax... I can feel nearly everything.
But I don't have to be naked with him to hear that miserable tone to his voice after I tell him I've missed him. "I know, it's okay," I tell him, turning his chin so we can kiss. "It's okay, tiger," I murmur against his lips, and leaning my forehead against his. "I've got you now," I add, making sure to double up my efforts so that he doesn't have time to dwell on my idiot words any further. Fingers slide away from his balls to squeeze his shaft, stroking it painfully slowly, grip tightening around the thicker head. A small moan slips out of me just at the feel of him in my hand. But this isn't about me, it's about Wes, I tell myself firmly.
"You're so beautiful," I murmur, before kissing him deeply so that he can't protest. No more protesting tonight. "Always want you, need you," I add, kissing him again more delicately while I pick up the pace on his straining cock. "Always going to be mine," I add, eyes meeting his this time. And slowing down my hand, thumb teasing the tip over and over. I'm so not smirking. Nope, not me.
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As relaxed and jello like as I was moment ago thanks to Angel, the less I'm becoming now. Also thanks to Angel. I thought the idea was for me to relax but for some reason I can't seem to mind much. There's just something very erotic about watching his hand vanish under the covers and watching them move up and down, up and down, *there*. Knowing what they're doing, *feeling* what they're dong.
"Oh! Ohhhh god, bloody-- Angel," I can't help but pant. Fingers clench in the sheets, fisting them into a tight balls. Legs slip even further apart, as much as possible in my current state. A fine sheen of sweat is starting to cover my skin and for a brief moment I think what a shame it is we took a bath only seconds ago. But it's only for a very brief moment before Angel makes me loose track of my thoughts once again.
"I-- I... Angel I-- Hmmmm..." And hand comes up to cup the back of his head when his mouth once again descents on mine. Hips try to jerk up but the body they try to move is to heavy to do so. Doesn't mean the feeling isn't there. Its just a little more *frustrating* to not be able to push my cock into his hand. Good thing he's kissing me. I love it when he's kissing me.
Did I mention it's been quite a while since I've done this? Since *we've* done this? Which is probably the reason I can feel my balls tightening and drawing up so soon. Lips part as I pant for breath, tongue snaking out to wet them. Eyes are squeezes shut as my heart and breathing picks up with every stroke of his hand.
"Angel I-- can't-- I have to-- please," I plead, still unable to come *without* his permission. Even now. "Please, my love, my Angel..."
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That's still hot as hell.
I'm not disappointed that he can't fight it off anymore. Kind of expected it actually. And I'll be honest, it's damn hot knowing that it only takes a few strokes, a few moments of the blankets poking up and down to have him writhing - or trying to - and begging me to let him come. So amazing and he's mine, all mine.
I pump him faster, harder - enjoying the suggestive movement of the covers before meeting his eyes and the pleading look in them. "That's it, tiger, come for me," I whisper, knowing he only needs the barest words. "Let me feel you come," I whisper, tugging on his ear with my teeth, feeling the release while it happens and stroking him tighter and slower as it happens.
Beautiful, beautiful man, I think as I watch his body tense and release until he's a limp mess. *Now* he's relaxed. I bet he'll barely be able to flutter his eyelashes at me before he's asleep, I think with amusement, my hand still sliding over his shaft, savoring the feel of him in case it's a few *more* months before we get to do this again.
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So I keep looking at my Angel, waiting for that permission for him to come. And wonders of wonders - or maybe not such a wonder considering my state and moods lately - he doesn't dawdle this time. He doesn't prolong it. Doesn't show any tiny signs of Angelus by prolonging the torture. He just tells me to come, tells me he wants to feel me climax.
And that's all I really need. Just those few words, a specific look if there are no words and I'm hurtling headlong down that cliff. Only to get caught on that cloud of pure pleasure floating me along. I know I'm crying out, a hoarse whimpering cry. Followed by Angel's name falling from my lips as I whisper it. There might even be a few curses there.
I don't really know. All I know is that my back, my muscles, my stomach haven't felt that relaxed in weeks. Has it really been that long since we-- we had sex? To be honest, that hard, needy sort where I'd jump Angel anywhere hasn't been able to relax me like this. This is sudden, unexpected... a gift. A gift from my love, my life, my everything.
"Hmmm," I mumble, a satisfied smirk sliding on my face. I let my head roll to the side to look at Angel through narrowed eyes. "Love you, my Angel," I slur. A hand clumsily tries to find it's way under the covers, landing on Angel's hip. I think its his hip anyway. "Just give me a moment--" a yawn interrupts that line, while my eyes seem to close on their own accord. "wano give hand..." So tired. So exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week. Another thing which hasn't happened in a *long* time.
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A soft chuckle escapes me as his hand tries to fumble around under the covers to help me out - mostly because he really, truly is half asleep. Once I finally release Wes' cock with a last twist of my wrist, my hand slowly covers his on my hip. "Love you too, tiger." His shoulder gets a kiss as I smile at his blissful face, his slurred words.
"I'll take you up on that later," I whisper, rubbing my hand over his and leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Sleep, Wes," I murmur, kissing him softly. I bring his hand up with mine to kiss. He needs this. Has needed it for a long, long time. My sweet Wes. I can hear Connor in the other room making baby noises like he's having a dream, but doesn't sound like a bad one. I have to remind myself that this life is always in danger just to make sure this quiet contentment doesn't drift over into a perfect moment of happiness. I get closer to those moments when things are quiet like this. And I have a feeling they'll happen a lot more when our second child is born.
But I'm getting better at watching out for them, surprisingly enough. You're happy often enough and... it's not as easy to get caught off guard. Well, so far. That's something I never expected to happen since I never thought I'd have reason to be this happy all the time. It's good, I think though, looking down at Wes' and smooth hair back from his sleeping face.
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But my hand falls on the bed without being used for good. Actually, it doesn't even fall on the bed at all. I never get there. Instead it seems to fly up and there's a smile appearing on my face like magic when I feel Angel's lips against the back of it. He's so, so sweet and all I'm able to do lately is nag at him, curse at him and god only knows what else. I'm not certain if I'd have had the patience to not explode if the situation were reverse.
"Shoul-elp you," I slur, but am no longer actually trying. What I am trying instead is rolling on my side. Not an easy thing to do when one is the size of a small whale let me tell you. But once I'm rolling I have to be careful not to roll completely around. Angel is there to stop me though as luck would have it and a sigh of contempt gets out at the feeling of his naked skin against mine.
"Lovyou." Yawning, I slip a leg between his, reveling in the warmth it has, which no doubt has been stolen from me. But if I have it it's Angel's to have as well. Though, after we found out my-- situation, he's not taken any more blood. I miss that. I wonder if it would still taste the same to him now or if it's the same. Probably the latter? Or he'd have noticed sooner, I keep thinking as I sink back into sleep. Thoughts like these, these wondrous, in awe thoughts, are far more preferable then the usually worried once I have.
The only reason I can come up with for not having them not, for being able to fall asleep right away, is right there pressed against me. Right there with my arms folded around me, my legs tangled with his.
Angel.
And there's this beaming smile on my face as I slip into a deeper, and for the first time since a long time, peaceful sleep.
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...He just looks so peaceful, and I can't tear my eyes off him much less think about myself. My body reacts to him without my bidding often enough, I think I can resist this once. "Love you too," I whisper after I feel his heartbeat slow into sleeping. Even the devious leg between mine isn't going to get me to move.
Or to stop looking at that beautiful face and feeling his skin next to mine. This is so peaceful. Moreso than anything we've done together in the last few months. "Love you," I whisper again, just to hear the words. He's all mine, I think, finally braving more of a touch once my erection has flagged a bit.
My hand curves over his stomach automatically, feeling for that other heartbeat I can hear faintly underneath Wes'. "Love you too," I whisper to our baby, rubbing Wesley's stomach softly. Connor's murmurings in the other room as if he's already worried about not being loved as much have me smiling. As if he could ever be replaced. Two miracle children. Each just as miraculous as the other. Amazing.
And I get to share it with this man, I think as I watch him sleep.
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No, if there's one thing I can be certain off lately is that I wake up to early. Far, far, too really, never really getting *enough* sleep. It's either my back acting up, or a cramp in some muscle or other, feeling sick, having to take a pee, hunger, feeling the child kick or move. Or a combination of all before mentioned when I'm having a very bad day.
Right now, however, Angel's little action have not only me relaxed but the baby as well. Not-- that I should think about the why's of that to deeply. That would be entirely to creepy if one is honest. I'll just keep telling myself that the child is so quiet due to Angel's hand rubbing back and forth of my bare stomach. Come to think of it, I seem to be bare everywhere. Good lord, when was the last time that happened?
I turn my head a little to glance at Angel. He looks so happy, not to happy mind. But still, happy. That small playing on his face, the way his large hand keeps rubbing over my stomach, the way those eyes have closed and he's *almost* humming a tune. I know he's not sleeping, not really. Being a vampire makes him not need as much sleep as we humans do. He looks far more relaxed then I've seen him in a while.
And once again I'm about to interrupt that, bastard that I am.
"Angel," I murmur quietly after clearing my throat. "I ah-- need to go to the bathroom." What time is it anyway? I feel as though I've slept for hours on end and if the ravenous hunger is anything... Actually, my hunger feelings aren't anything to go by lately are they? Still, I really need to use the bathroom. Fast.
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But awake he is and it's already time for the bathroom trips to start. I wonder which sort this one is. No, actually I don't wonder, because I'd rather not know. Not that I'm not right there when Wes throws up, but vomit is a rough smell on the vampire nose day in and day out. I can tune out a lot of smells, but...
And that is just not how I want us to continue this relaxing. But it's not like I have a choice in the matter is it? Can't always get what you want, whiny vampire boy as Cordy might say. Heh. Nah, it doesn't really matter. As long as we get through these next few months intact, I won't care how our mornings or nights start.
"Need any help, tiger?" I ask him, already pulling back the covers for his newly large frame. What I really mean to ask is if he needs any help getting up or moving, but I know better than to ask that by now. And while I didn't make him throw up the last time I carried him to the bathroom, I don't think I want to test whether that'll be the case every time. So I'll give him a helping hand out of bed, but I'll be letting him waddle to the bathroom on his own, I think. Besides, it irks him when I hover. It does, I can tell.
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Rolling from one side to the other I realized that soon I wont be able to get out of bed on my own. At least not without some acrobatic tricks. And lets face it, looking like this? Acrobatic tricks aren't going to happen any time soon. Besides, I'd look ridiculous. Even more ridiculous that is, I look like a beached whale as it is.
When Angel pulls back the covers my enormous stomach, belly, something is staring me right in the face. There's just no way around it and it'll only grow larger over the next months. God, I hope being a man doesn't mean I have to do this *longer* then those usual nine month's. If it were up to me then this child would be here already.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.
"If you could--" I start, grunting as I roll over to my side, "-- fetch my robe? Please?" Sweat is starting to break out and I realize that if I keep this up I might not just need to rush to the bathroom to take a piss. With a defeated sigh I stop rolling and close my eyes. My hand comes up to rub over my face as I muffle a groan into it.
"And if you could help me up and out of bed?" I ask with a small voice.
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