If My Heart Could Beat, It Would Break My Chest

[only_because3]

Title: If My Heart Could Beat, It Would Break My Chest
Author: only_because3
Word Count: 7781
Pairing: Quinn/Rachel/Puck
Rating: M
Summary: She’s just passed the kitchen when she sees it out of the corner of her eye. Her roommates always sleep with the door closed. But what she turns to see is Puck’s naked back, each muscle flexing as he pushes forward, Rachel’s legs wrapping around his hips.
Author's Note: I have literally been working on this since June 8th of last year. I just got my ass into gear to finish it. Not entirely sure I'm happy with it, but happy enough to post. Also, I wrote this before ANY of season 3 but that shouldn't really matter. Well, actually, no. Ignore all of season 3 because it'd probably help. As for some warnings, there is a lot of kinky sex in this, including breathplay so if that's not your cup of tea, I'd leave now. Enjoy!

--

She comes home a little past 3, tired and no longer feeling the drinks she had at some time around midnight. She was going to crash on Kurt’s couch but she would much rather not spend her morning putting on a fake smile for her friend (as far as he knows, this is just another day for her).

Though she’s not sure spending the night at home (the one she shares with Rachel and Puck) is such a good idea either.

The thing is, they don’t talk about it. Ever. All that shit that went on between them in high school? Never happened. They were different people then and they’re friends now, really good friends actually. Quinn’s tried apologizing to Rachel before, once she realized just how amazing of a friend the brunette was (which was probably around the time that Rachel told Quinn to move in with them when Quinn’s old roommate kicked her out last year). But Rachel just shook her head. “It’s okay now, Quinn.” And Puck… well, they’ve had a silent understanding since junior year.

She tosses her purse on the table, shrugging out of her jacket that had been completely unnecessary. It’s hot in the apartment and the small, half broken AC is doing almost nothing to lower the temperature to a bearable one. She’s glad she appears to be the only one up because her dress is starting to stick uncomfortably to her skin and she pulls it over her head without a second thought. It doesn’t cool her down much and she considers going into the kitchen to stand in front of the open fridge to cool down since she can’t shower (she still can’t get over how stupidly laid out their apartment is. Who puts the only bathroom in one of the bedrooms?), but in the end she decides against it. She just wants to lie down and watch some infomercials till she falls asleep.

She throws her dress over her shoulder, taking off her earrings as she walks to her room quietly. She’s just passed the kitchen when she sees it out of the corner of her eye. Her roommates always sleep with the door closed. But what she turns to see is Puck’s naked back, each muscle flexing as he pushes forward, Rachel’s legs wrapping around his hips.

Maybe Rachel asked if she was coming home tonight for a reason.

Rachel’s legs don’t stay around Puck for very long because now he’s grabbing her left leg, pushing it so it’s flush with the bed and resting somewhere next to the brunette’s chest. The other leg is moved to his shoulder and it’s then that Quinn notices Rachel’s wrists bound to one of the bars of the headboard. She swallows hard as she takes a step forward, her body now completely facing the open bedroom door. She can hear Puck saying something between labored breaths and she strains to make out what he’s saying. This involves another step forward, her heels clacking loudly this time because she’s forgotten that she shouldn’t be watching this. Her eyes widen when she hears the noise reverberate back. Puck stops moving and Rachel’s arm tugs at her cuff.

Nobody says a word for what feels like forever, until Rachel very calmly says, “Undo my restraints.”

Puck doesn’t move at first but once Rachel’s leg drops from his shoulder, he turns to look at Quinn who stands three feet away from their open door. “What the hell,” he asks, face scrunching up in a way that reminds Quinn she’s a pair of underwear from being naked. She feels herself blush and she brings her hands up to cover her chest. His eyes aren’t focused on that though, but instead her stomach and she knows that he’s staring at the four silvery stretch marks on the left side of her stomach. She can feel a muscle twitch beneath her skin near her belly button and it’s then that they lock eyes.

“It’s hot,” she says dumbly, trying to defend her nude form while saying the completely wrong thing.

“Is she talking about us?” Another tug against the cuff before she releases an aggravated huff, “Noah, I told you to undo these!”

“What the hell,” he repeats, though it’s less gruff this time. It’s more questioning than it is a reaction and she slumps in her heels, her dress slipping from her shoulders.

“I never know what I’m doing today,” she whispers, running a hand through her shaggy hair as she turns to walk to her room, not bothering to pick up her discarded clothes.

--

When she finally hears a knock on her door (she’s surprised it took so long but she figures they probably finished before they decided who would come check on her), she’s already crying. She hates that she still gets like this and she hates that just seeing Puck look at her like that brings it all back again. It’s been four years. Shouldn’t she be over this by now? She doesn’t regret what she did because if she had kept Beth, she doubts that she or Puck would be in New York City right now and she knows that her daughter is out there somewhere, happy and loved (or at least, she hopes she is). It’s silly to still cry about this, to still feel inadequate and lonely. This overwhelming sadness that envelops her on June 8th is stupid but she lets herself cry anyway, because she can’t stop it and this is the only day she really allows herself to think of Beth.

She doesn’t say anything so Rachel just walks in, barely covered in Puck’s old basketball jersey, a frown already set on her face. “Oh, Quinn.”

The blonde groans and slaps Rachel’s arms away when she tries to hug her. “No, don’t feel bad for me.” She sniffs, wiping away her tears as she takes deep breaths to calm herself down.

“I thought you were staying at Kurt’s.”

“I didn’t want to pretend when I woke up. Even though Puck’s here, I could just lie in my room and sulk until tomorrow.” Her vision starts to clear and it’s then that she notices Rachel’s neck. “What the hell happened to you?”

Rachel smiles meekly, hand going up to softly run over her red neck. “It makes him feel better,” she says with a small shrug. “Today’s just as bad for him, but you know Noah. He’d rather be angry than sad.”

She pulls her legs up to her chest (which, she realizes, is still bare), hands clutching her shins. “So you let him choke you?” The words feel foreign on her tongue and she almost wishes she hadn’t said it aloud because Rachel is biting her bottom lip and refusing to look at her.

“It makes him feel better,” she reiterates. “You cry, he fucks me roughly all day. It’s what works.”

Quinn scoffs, almost laughing. “Only you could tell me this like it’s completely normal.”

“I’m here for you too.” She puts her hand on Quinn’s knee, causing the girl to look back up at her. “If you need a shoulder to cry on, I can do that for you. Noah’s actually gone to sleep for a bit.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Rachel shakes her head with a sigh as she climbs on to Quinn’s bed and plops down next to her.

“You’re my best friend, Quinn. You don’t have to spend today as a loner. I know how to split my time between the two most important people in my life.” Rachel takes Quinn’s hand into her own, squeezing it tightly as she relaxes in the bed.

“I’m topless,” Quinn comments when Rachel tries to get her to lay down.

“You saw me cuffed to a bed today, Quinn. Humility between us has gone out the window.” Quinn settles against Rachel’s side, eyeing the brunette with an arched brow. “Watch your crappy infomercials, Quinn… Unless you’d like to talk?”

She lets her head fall on to Rachel’s shoulder, her eyes closing when she feels Rachel start running her nails over Quinn’s scalp soothingly. “It’s not healthy to let him do that.”

“It’s not healthy to cry in a dark room and not talk to anyone for one day out of the entire year either. To each their own.”

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I,” she asks defensively, looking up to catch Rachel smiling.

“Only because I’m pushy and I’ll annoy you if you don’t.”

There’s a lull then as Quinn fiddles with the silky fabric of the jersey Rachel’s wearing, both women seemingly enthralled by the Slap Chop infomercial on Quinn’s tiny TV. She takes a deep breath before asking, “It helps him?”

“Well it seems like it does. It takes a long time to chop vegetables that small and he appears to get it done in seconds.”

“No! Not the Slap Chop guy… I was talking about Puck. With the whole…” She mimes a choking motion, embarrassed that she’s actually asking because she knows this won’t be a quick, breezy conversation, not with Rachel Berry. Rachel was obviously right though. Any humility they had before tonight was lost because Quinn’s not sure she would’ve asked if it were any other day.

Rachel doesn’t say anything but she absently starts twirling some of Quinn’s hair between her fingers and she takes that as a sign that the brunette is thinking. It’s weird to her that Rachel is taking her time to articulate what she wants to say, when usually Rachel always has a point on the tip of her tongue. The infomercial changes and Rachel sighs as she sits up, legs draping over themselves carefully but making sure she’s still holding Quinn’s hand. “The first year, I almost developed a complex about it because I knew he wished it was you.” She starts to back up, ready to push herself up and off the bed but Rachel tightens her grip on her hand to keep her close. “Not that he actually wants to harm you… He doesn’t hate you, Quinn. At least not now, but…” She sighs, aggravated that she isn’t getting her point across in an eloquent or even rational manner. “It has a lot to do with power. Everything that happened back then, he had no real control with it. There was no clear cut ‘right answer’ and you were both damned if you did and damned if you didn’t and he’s angry. At life, at you. He’s in control of this and it helps him get out all those feelings he hasn’t ever dealt with any other time. I know now that it’s less about you, though I won’t lie to you, it’ll always partly be about you, but I’ve realized that he does love me. That he’s releasing all these feelings through me.” She looks at Quinn cautiously, almost frowning. “Somehow that turned into a long answer anyway.”

Quinn nods, eyes cast down on the bed as she starts picking at a loose thread on the hem of Rachel’s jersey. Rachel’s waiting for a verbal response and Quinn knows from experience that Rachel won’t leave until Quinn says something. She doesn’t want to respond because she can see herself saying something stupid like she did before and Quinn doesn’t want to continue the awkward string of moments that seem to be happening tonight. “Just say it. It’s obvious that you have something to say and I just explained to you why I let Noah choke me. Whatever you could say will not freak me out… Not to mention the fact that we’re hanging out with you practically naked right now.” Rachel tilts her chin up and Quinn’s met with a soft smile. “I love you, Quinn. I don’t care what you have to say.”

“No, it’s weird,” she mutters, looking around for the tank top she normally wears to bed now that Rachel’s pointed out, again, that her boobs are out.

Rachel huffs. “Quinn.”

“Do you get anything from it,” she asks, voice cracking slightly. She refuses to look up and she can feel her face getting hot.

“I like it,” Rachel says nonchalantly. “Though I obviously get something different out of it than he does. Not just physically, but emotionally he obviously gets a lot more from it. It’d be completely different for you though.” Quinn looks up quickly and Rachel gives her that soft smile again, the one that’s starting to make her feel uncomfortable in a way that she can’t quite place. “It’s okay if you want to try it. It’s perfectly natural to be curious.” Quinn looks at her wearily, eyebrow arched, unsure of what the hell Rachel’s trying to say. There are times when Quinn can read the brunette like a book but then there are times like this when Quinn’s almost positive she’s completely misinterpreting everything.

Thankfully, she thinks, Puck appears in her doorway. He blinks tiredly, his eyes looking only at Quinn and she squirms under the scrutiny when his eyes adjust to the fact that he’s awake. She’s glad Rachel gets something from the choking; otherwise Quinn would feel even worse than she already does because he’s looking at her like he would strangle her if he could. “Noah.” It gets his attention off Quinn, allowing her to let out the breath she’d been holding.

“Come to bed?” His hand flexes at his side and she notices that Quinn sees it too. The blonde is chewing on her bottom lip, eyes watering up again and Rachel realizes she can’t just leave Quinn alone. She’s helped Noah get through June 8th for the past three years and it’s about time someone actually cared about Quinn Fabray.

“Do you trust him,“ she asks, looking between Noah and Quinn carefully.

“Rach, what’re you doing?“

Rachel rolls her eyes, and gives her full attention to the blonde beside her, letting her hand fall softly on Quinn’s leg. “Do you trust him?”

“Yes.” She blinks, a lump forming in her throat as she braves another glance at Puck. “I’ve always trusted you.” Had she not trusted him with all her heart, June 8th would just be another day.

He looks at her a moment longer, never taking his eyes off her face (which both women consider a miracle or a possible sign of the apocalypse). His eyes are softer than they were when he first walked in, reminding her of the man she knows every other day of the year. Right now, he’s not the boy she had a child with four years ago. Right now, he’s the guy who graciously carried her stuff up and down three flights of stairs every time she’s moved, the guy who went across town everyday for three weeks to pick up soup for her when she was sick last winter, the guy that helps her keep Rachel Berry from killing the actresses who beat her for roles. When she really thinks about it, she’s beyond lucky to have Puck in her life and that, despite the fact they’ve never really talked about the life they created, they’re able to actually be friends. That only one day a year is hard for them, instead of 365.

He sighs, looking down at the floor as he shakes his head. “And you think this’ll help? Or are you suggesting this because you’ve wanted to get into Fabray’s panties since she moved in?”

The use of her last name is a relief and it reminds her that she was completely honest when she said she trusted Puck. It doesn’t hit her till a moment later, when she makes out the slight blush on Rachel’s cheeks in the dim room. “I completely resent that, Noah. I do believe that this would be beneficial for both of you as you’ve never talked about what happened between you two in high school. As it’s been four years, I doubt that you two will ever verbally work through everything, so why not try a physical, “symbolic” action? Especially when I’m willing to let you guys try that? And while I have expressed to you, privately, that it could be exciting to add Quinn to the mix, it was merely a fantasy I had no intention of making a reality, least of all today when Quinn is in a vulnerable state. I didn’t come in here with the intention to bed my best friend as she is my best friend and that would undoubtedly change our friendship, possibly for the worst. All I planned to do was make sure Quinn was okay and lay with her until she managed to fall asleep. And, as it stands, I made no suggestion for me to be involved in the two of you sorting out your issues, though I would prefer not to leave the room if/when you two decide to pursue the option I’ve presented. Though I want to make it clear, I wouldn’t be opposed to joining if you two mutually decided that you want me to.”

Puck shakes his head with a small smirk, ignoring the glare that developed in Rachel’s eyes during her speech. “This is fuckin’ crazy,” he mutters, scratching the back of his shaved head as he walks over to the bed.

“You do realize that this wouldn’t be just sex, right,” Quinn asks. “I know you just gave an impressive little monologue, but there’s a difference between saying it and seeing it.”

Rachel smiles softly and nods. “I know. I fully recognize that this is a, for lack of a better term, slippery slope. The two of you went through something I can never fully understand no matter how hard I try and I know that there are unresolved feelings. I don’t doubt that you love me, Noah. And Quinn, I know that you love me too. Neither of you would purposefully hurt me and I fully believe that… I would have never brought it up if I wasn’t secure enough in myself and the relationships we all have with one another.”

Quinn runs a hand through her short hair, he eyebrow arched, unconvinced. “This is a horrible decision. Sex is not the answer.”

“But you were curious about what it is we do.”

“That doesn’t mean I should do that with Puck,” Quinn exclaims, looking up at the guy in question.

“So you don’t want to have sex with Noah and/or me?”

The blonde opens her mouth, stuttering as she feels her ears get hot. “You know, for this being about me and Q, you sure are eager to join in,” Puck points out, earning a frustrated huff from Rachel.

“Look here, asshole,” Rachel starts, pressing a finger sharply to her boyfriend’s chest. “I’m trying to help and will admit that, yes, I do want to have sex with both of you.” She turns to Quinn, voice suddenly softer. “You’re a beautiful and amazing woman, Quinn. And I know it’s weird because we’re friends but I would love to fuck you. I completely understand if you don’t return the sentiment and I would never pressure you into having this threesome, though I’m sure Noah thinks otherwise.” At this, she redirects her attention back to Puck, bite returning to her voice. “I don’t know if you two remember but I remember when you two were horrible to each other that first year. Somehow, you two managed to become friends but it is so very unhealthy to ignore these extreme feelings you feel today. This decision needs to be made now. I can’t have Quinn sulking all day while I fuck you across the hall. This could make both of you feel better because, honestly, I can’t give either of you what you want. Not when it comes to her. Quinn knows where I stand, but maybe you should tell her exactly how you feel. Perhaps that will help her with her decision.”

Quinn’s eyebrows furrow and she sits up a little straighter, looking between the couple. There’s a silent exchange between the two, Puck’s jaw clenching before Rachel turns to her with an evil smile.

“He still wants to have sex with you,” Rachel answers and Quinn’s eyes widen. It’s not that surprising as no one has verbally said no up until this point, but it’s a little overwhelming to have everything so clearly laid out. She’d be lying if she said the thought of sleeping with her friends, both separate and together, had never crossed her mind before. But it was never something she seriously entertained or thought about for very long at all. What they have now is great and Quinn knows that casual sex, even if it is just once, complicates things. Besides, Quinn is used to spending her daughter’s birthday alone and sobbing. She’s not sure she could actually handle having sex with anyone right now, let alone having sex with Puck.

However, Rachel’s logic, though completely not logical to any normal, sane, person, sort of makes sense. Puck’s still upset and she still feels something reminiscent of guilt so why not?

She briefly thinks that maybe she had a lot more to drink tonight than she originally thought because that is probably the only reason this seems like a good idea. But the people in front of her are sober and this entire thing is making her head hurt.

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Physically, she wants this. She knows there’s a warm slickness between her legs and when she found her friends having sex, she walked towards them instead of away. She’s made no real effort to cover herself in the presence of her friends, leaving her naked from the hips up in front of them. This is probably a horrible idea but she releases the breath she’s holding anyway and opens her eyes, eyebrow inching up as she stares at Puck.

“Kiss her, Noah.” She’s barely surprised when he doesn’t hesitate. His hand cups the back of her neck and he laughs lightly, his breath hitting her lips when her muscles tense underneath his touch. He bites her bottom lip hard enough to make her pull back reflexively, but he keeps her in place with his hand, practically growling when Quinn whimpers. If this was anyone else, on any other day, she wouldn’t be this complacent. She’d bite back instead of just kissing back as softly as she can because it feels like the closest she’ll get to saying sorry.

There is no way that doing this is healthy.

“Noah, stop.” He tugs on her top lip before pulling away from her completely. “Quinn, you have to relax for this to work.” Before she can even process it, Rachel’s kissing her bruised lips lightly and she can distantly feel fingertips running up and down her thigh. Part of Quinn thinks that she doesn’t deserve this; that the way Puck was treating her was just, but then that heavy sadness returns and she remembers that she lost something today too. Rachel pulls back with that same smile she’d been giving Quinn before and she realizes that that uncomfortable feeling was pooling deliciously in her belly. “Lay down,” Rachel instructs and Quinn does as she’s told.

“It feels weird taking orders from you.” She lays in the middle of the bed, biting her lip as Rachel pulls Puck’s jersey over her head. Puck slumps down next to her, an appreciative sigh escaping his lips as Rachel tucks her hair behind her ears. This is not the first time Quinn’s seen Rachel naked but this is the first time she’s been able to really study her best friend’s body. To Puck, this is nothing new. He’s claimed this for his own years ago, knows every curve and every mark, but she’s curious to find out as much as she can about Rachel’s body now that she has the opportunity.

Rachel runs her hands up Quinn’s thighs before dropping them on to the bed next to the blonde’s chest. Quinn licks her lips as she stares at the way Rachel’s body moves above her. She’s not too sure what sort of etiquette there is to follow in a threesome but she’s almost positive Rachel’s done talking about this. Still, Quinn looks up at Puck, her hands twitching at her sides. He nods slightly before his eyes flick back to his girlfriend and she lets out a shaky breath, bringing her hands up to palm Rachel’s sides as the brunette settles above her. Her smile is small but Quinn can tell she’s holding back. Rachel’s trying to be courteous because this day is about them, not her, but she’s doing what she’s apparently wanted to do for almost a year now. “Okay,” Rachel asks, her body goose bumping under the imaginary trail Quinn traces down her sides with her nails.

“Yes,” Quinn answers as she grips Rachel’s hips carefully, gripping harder when she hears Puck mention that Rachel likes it rough. The brunette above her rolls her eyes playfully, exactly like she does whenever Puck says something that almost irritates her. It makes this entire situation feel so normal, like she’s not about to have sex with the two people she has a huge amount of history with. Quinn smiles when Rachel does and Rachel looks at the blonde a moment longer, eyes steady and focused, as if she’s trying to memorize Quinn’s face even though they see each other every day, before leaning down to kiss her again.

It’s different than it was before. It’s not as soft, not as convincing, but it still gentler than Puck. Rachel kisses her greedily, nipping lightly at Quinn’s lips before running her tongue over where her teeth abandoned. Quinn lets her hands wander again, this time running up Rachel’s flawless stomach. She’s envied Rachel’s body for a long time; Quinn’s body has been permanently changed since she was 16. She can barely remember what her stomach looked like before she gave birth. She cannot imagine her body without the stretch mark that mars the right side of her stomach or her skin lying flat with the muscle beneath it. As a teenage girl with an enormous amount of body issues, her post pregnancy body was something she hated. She remembers looking at Rachel when they’d change into their costumes for glee and wanting so badly to look like that. Even now that Quinn actually has self worth and doesn’t pretend to think she’s hot shit, she still thinks that Rachel has the best body she’s ever seen.

She finds herself sighing softly between kisses and Rachel pulls back with a small smirk. “It’s almost creepy how much her smirk looks like yours,” Quinn says lightly, looking up at Puck as she finally finishes her small love affair with Rachel’s stomach, her hands coming to a rest on Rachel’s sides again. He looks conflicted between agreeing with her and screaming at her and she can’t help but think how wrong it feels to lay there with Rachel being so sweet to her and knowing Puck is upset next to her. She lets out a breath and redirects her attention to the ceiling, trying in vain to blow stray hairs out of her face.

Rachel leans to the side, pressing her lips against Puck’s bent knee. “Are you okay?” He sighs and cups her cheek. They’re completely silent when Rachel turns her head to the side slightly, pressing a kiss into his palm and it amazes Quinn how often her friends communicate without speaking when they both love the sound of their own voices. After another moment, Rachel reappears in Quinn’s line of sight. She steadies herself on one arm, free hand coming up to push Quinn’s hair out of her face. Quinn’s bottom lip finds its way between her teeth and Rachel can tell she’s nervous again. “How long have we been friends?”

Quinn’s eyebrows raise in surprise before answering, “Three years.”

Rachel nods, leaning down to kiss both of Quinn’s cheeks. “And when did you actually start considering me your friend?” She tugs on Quinn’s forearm and Quinn lets both her arms fall away from Rachel.

“It was spring semester of freshman year.” Rachel nods again before kissing a trail down Quinn’s neck. “We were both in American Lit II. My skirt got caught on a nail in the desk and ripped when I stood up.” She feels the ‘mhm’ Rachel gives in response more than she hears it as the brunette reaches her collarbone. “You gave me your sweater because mine stopped at my hips and yours reached the back of my knees.” She lets out a shaky breath, fingers tangling in Rachel’s hair when the brunette runs her teeth down the slope of Quinn’s breast. “You walked with me all the way back to my apartment even though it was all the way across town and you missed your next class, which you had a quiz in.” Like a reward, Rachel’s lips close around a hard nipple and Quinn lets out a noise that’s halfway between a whine and a moan.

Rachel looks up through her lashes, rolling Quinn’s nipple between her teeth before biting down hard. To her surprise, Quinn’s staring down at her but, thankfully, the wheels have stopped turning in her head. She runs her tongue over the swelling flesh before releasing it, setting her chin in the valley between Quinn’s breasts. “I got a C in that class because I couldn’t make it up.”

Quinn rolls her eyes and Puck scoffs next to her. “It helped contribute to the C. You totally missed an exam because you had an audition and you were still walking a little funny,” he says and Quinn can’t hide her giggles. Quinn doesn’t know all the details but she does know that her friends had been MIA for three days, bought a new coffee table during that time, and Puck always seems to get this smug look on his face every time they watch Inception.

“I’ll excuse that because today is your day. But if you keep this up tomorrow, you’re going to be getting reacquainted with your right hand.”

The response is on the tip of his tongue and they both catch it, waiting with bated breath to see if he’ll actually say it. He doesn’t, instead shuts his mouth and shakes his head. Right now, this is billed as a one night engagement. He doesn’t know where Rachel stands about the possibility of a repeat on a night where they’re not so broken, though if the other talks about doing Quinn have any indication, she’d be willing for another go. He really doesn’t know where Quinn’s head is at all in this. Judging by how much she appears to be flip-flopping now, he’d put money on this being it. He realizes then that he hadn’t implied another threesome, but instead another round with just Quinn and he swallows hard before staring at Rachel.

“I love you,” he echoes and, fuck, she just smiles and he knows that she believes him. Her eyes dart towards Quinn, reminding him that he should apologize for assuming, even mentally, that he could just fuck her and, even though he’s upset with Quinn, it is a dick thing to do. But before he can even look at her, he feels her hand on his arm and she squeezes lightly to let him know it’s okay.

Quinn shifts her hips then and Rachel’s smile turns devious. “Do you know why I asked you that Quinn?”

Rachel continues her path down Quinn’s body, leaving hot opened mouth kisses on every piece of skin she can reach; paying special attention to her stretch mark (the only physical proof that Quinn carries that Beth was real). “Because you like hearing how wonderful you are,” she asks, nails starting to drag up and down Puck’s arm.

The brunette laughs into the skin below her belly button, nose tickling Quinn when Rachel shakes her head. “I like taking care of you Quinn and I think that that is a perfect example to show just how far I’m willing to go to make sure you’re okay. After all, you know how seriously I take my education.” Her fingers hook into the hem of Quinn’s underwear at her hips and Quinn squirms beneath her. Rachel notices that Quinn’s hand has moved from Puck’s arm to his thigh and she can feel herself grow wetter between her legs (she’s completely given up on trying to figure out if there’s something wrong with her because the thought about her boyfriend fucking her best friend turns her on more than anything else). She tugs the fabric down Quinn’s legs, about to ask once more if Quinn is sure about this, but the panties in her hands are noticeably wet and she’s overwhelmed by this musky scent that she knows is Quinn.

She really does try to fight the grin that forms on her face when she’s met with Quinn completely naked in front of her, but it’s useless. Her eyes flick to Puck, who looks like he’s torn between stopping this and getting up to fuck her from behind, before sliding her hands lightly up the inside of Quinn’s thighs to get the blonde to look at her. She lays her tongue flat against soaking heat when Quinn looks her straight in the eyes, firmly dragging it up before wrapping her lips around her clit. Quinn rolls her hips, trying to push herself against Rachel’s face even more and Puck chuckles. Quinn digs her fingers into Puck’s thigh and Rachel laps a few more times at her clit before pulling away. “I can think of a better way you could be using that hand right now.”

Quinn’s fingers tangle in her hair and nudge her head back down while her other hand presses against Puck’s crotch. It’s all about pressure and friction until she feels Rachel’s tongue play at her entrance. That’s when she slips her hand in to Puck’s boxers and her hand wraps around his dick. He sucks in a breath as Rachel moves back to her clit, one finger slipping in to her easily and Quinn strokes him in time with Rachel’s thrusts.

She squeezes her eyes shut when her thigh twitches and she swallows hard. Her toes start curling and she grips Puck tighter, her pace remaining steady even when Rachel’s speeds up. She’s close but she can’t let go. This day has never been anything but horrible for her and, in a way, she thinks she’s deserved it. She doesn’t deserve the release Puck gets.

Rachel looks up at her with a wet mouth, the two fingers inside her slowing but still keeping an even pace. “Quinn.” She licks her lips, running her heel along Rachel’s back as she stares back at the brunette. Her thumb swirls over the head of Puck’s dick and he grunts softly before pulling her hand away. “Honey, you’re tense again,” Rachel says softly, dragging her free hand up and down her inner thigh.

Quinn makes a noise somewhere in the back of her throat and then Puck shifts next to her, laying down so they’re almost face to face. Her hips cant up to Rachel but her back remains rigid until Puck turns her head towards him. He rubs softly as the skin below her ear before his hand travels to her chest, taking one of her breasts in his hand. Her nipple hardens even more beneath his touch and she clenches her jaw as she lets out an unsteady breath. “It’s okay,” he whispers, pressing a simple kiss against her lips.

Rachel takes her clit into her mouth again, her fingers speeding up even more. Puck repeats himself and squeezes her breast firmly just as Rachel does something with her tongue that Quinn can’t really process at the moment, and then she’s gasping out, “I’m sorry,” against Puck’s lips. Rachel laps at her sensitive skin and wet fingers snake up, tracing the twitching contours of Quinn’s torso.

She feels more than she hears Rachel say something against her and then Rachel’s mouth moves against her deliberately again. A whine escapes Quinn’s throat, her mouth tearing away from Puck’s so she can bite onto his shoulder. Her hand grips Rachel’s hair, pulling her closer but almost pushing her away and Puck laughs low in his throat. “Good pussy, babe?” When he locks eyes with Rachel, she nods into the wet, heated flesh. It’s followed by this obscene slurping noise and Quinn’s body arches, heels digging into Rachel’s sides as her teeth sink desperately into his skin. Rachel won’t stop staring at him and she’s never looked so god damn hungry and before he thinks any of them know what’s happening, Quinn screams and pushes Rachel’s head away, pressing her legs together tightly. Rachel’s face is absolutely soaked and she licks her lips as she runs her hands soothingly up and down Quinn’s thigh.

“Oh my god,” Quinn whimpers, turning to look up at Rachel when she feels the tiny brunette straddle her waist. Puck tangles his fingers in Rachel’s hair and Quinn can see how much he pulls on the strands as he captures Rachel’s lips. He groans, tasting Quinn for the first time in years on Rachel’s tongue, and his hips buck into Rachel’s thigh just as Quinn’s hand snakes around him again. “This is crazy.” Rachel lowers herself on Quinn’s stomach, dragging her wet pussy along Quinn’s abs and wrapping her hand above Quinn’s on Puck’s cock, her thumb running over his head.

Quinn’s teeth drag along Puck’s neck, her tongue pressing against where his heart pulsates beneath his skin, and the shaky breath she releases when Rachel’s hand runs over her neck cools his skin. “Okay,” Rachel asks, her nails digging into Quinn’s collarbone. The blonde pulls back to look at Rachel and nods, her lips parting when Rachel traces the fingers that had been pumping Puck over her cupid’s bow. Rachel’s eyes are completely black as Quinn sucks the warm liquid from Rachel’s fingers and Quinn runs her hand over the length of Puck’s cock twice, gathering the rest of his precum on her fingertips before bringing her hand up for Rachel to take. Rachel’s eyes follow Puck leave the room as she cleans Quinn’s hand and once they’re alone, Rachel pulls Quinn’s fingers from her mouth and laces their fingers together. “Ready?”

She bites her bottom lip but nods again, trembling hand gripping Rachel’s hip and urging her hips forward a little. Rachel bucks slowly, grinding down on Quinn’s stomach as she squeezes Quinn’s hand. “Thank you,” Quinn breathes out and Rachel just smiles a little, hips stilling.

“You’re going to be okay,” Rachel whispers, bringing their joined hands to her lips. “You’re both going to be okay.”

The bed dips at Quinn’s feet and Rachel turns around completely so that she’s facing Puck. She takes the condom from his hand and opens it, rolling it on him as he tangles her fingers in his hair, massaging her scalp. “I love you.” Quinn squirms underneath Rachel when they kiss. She feels like she’s intruding again because she’s seen her friends kiss like this before. There’s nothing lewd about it and it’s like they both may as well be clothed because it’s just about lips for them; Puck kisses Rachel like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do and she breathes him in like she’ll die if she doesn’t.

Quinn wishes she knew what that was like.

A hand presses against her and she jumps a little, not expecting the touch. Puck runs his hands up and down her calves as Rachel presses a little harder, dragging her fingers through wet flesh before Puck scoots forward a little bit more. He thrusts slowly into Quinn and Rachel can feel the way Quinn’s whole body tenses and twitches before relaxing, her toes pressing into the mattress. Rachel kisses Puck once more before she slips away from both of them. “Where’re you going, baby?”

“I’m just going over here.” She sinks down on the chair Quinn has shoved in the corner of her room, pulling her legs against her.

“But,” Quinn starts, and Rachel shakes her head.

“This is about the two of you,” she answers, pulling her hair over her shoulder. “I’m just going to watch from right here.” She twists the tips of her hair between her fingers and arches an eyebrow when neither one of them make a move. “Go on.”

Quinn swallows hard and takes her eyes off Rachel once Puck settles between her legs, his cock completely sheathed. Her breath catches in her throat when his hands run up her sides, and she grips the sheets beneath her when he pulls out of her before thrusting into her harder and deeper than before. “Fuck, you’re wet,” he groans. She’s still sensitive from when Rachel ate her out and each time he buries himself inside of her, she clenches tightly around him. He plants his hands on either side of her waist and she inhales sharply as he hovers over her.

“It’s okay,” Puck says, his words punctuated with two quick thrusts and he waits until she’s whimpering beneath him to run his hand along her torso. His fingers trace every imperfection that she has; he starts with each stretch mark on her stomach, follows an imaginary trail around her belly button and up to the scar in between her ribs.

Every movement is slow and measured, completely different from how he was with Rachel. She doesn’t get it, he’s supposed to be mad at her, and so she brings his face down to hers, biting at his lips the same way he did to her earlier. She expects him to quicken his pace, expects him to fuck her, but he stays steady, pumping in and out of her slow enough that she feels all of him with every move he makes. The rest of him changes accordingly; he bruises her lips, claws at her breast, twisting her hard nipple between his fingers and pulling.

Quinn can feel him everywhere and with each hard thrust filling her to the brim, a tremor runs through her body, igniting her every nerve. She digs her heels into the mattress, moves her hips to meet his as he pushes into her harder than before. He steals her breath when she gasps then, taking her lip between his teeth as he lays his hand along the column of her throat, his thumb rubbing against her pulse point. He pulls back to look at her face and it’s strange because this doesn’t seem so scary anymore. She feels the pressure increase around her neck and she can feel her heart thundering beneath her chest, her throat tightening. His eyes lock with hers and she doesn’t see any of the anger that was there before; the complete overwhelming sadness in his whiskey eyes match what she’s seen in her own. “Our baby girl is five,” Quinn whispers with what little breath she has left.

He bows his head and tears fall on to her collarbone, pooling for a moment in the crescents Rachel left in her skin before trailing down the slope of her neck, hitting the heel of his hand. “We were so fucking stupid,” he spits. The veins in his forearms become more pronounced the harder it gets for her to breathe and Quinn is vaguely aware of Rachel moving in the corner of the room.

She can feel herself dripping down her thighs, each of Puck’s thrusts harder, faster, and deeper than the one before it. She tries to moan but nothing more than a whimper passes her lips. “How close are you?” Rachel’s words seem muffled and far away; through hooded eyes she can see Puck say something but she can’t quite make out what he says, instead can only focus on the small bit of air he allows her when his hips buck into her particularly hard.

Rachel stands up, removing her hand from where she’d been lightly playing with herself and reaches between the two lovers. Quinn clenches around Puck when Rachel’s fingers slip over her, rubbing tight circles over her clit. Quinn’s heart beats loudly in her ears and she gropes for something to hold on to. Everything is fuzzy now but she can still see Puck perfectly. She can see the beads of sweat on his brow, the way his muscles flex with every move he makes, and the tears that are still glossing over his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she repeats and his fingers sink into her neck as Rachel pinches her clit. It feels like her head is about to explode when Puck buries himself in her one last time and then suddenly everything it too much. She gasps, her lungs filling with the air she’s been craving as she completely falls apart. This is like nothing she’s ever felt before; she feels weightless. Her body feels like it’s on fire. She feels alive.

Puck leans back on his legs but not before wrapping his arms around Quinn, bringing her to his chest. She clings to him desperately, her whole body still shaking, still humming, as he shallowly thrusts into her once more. His hand tangles in her hair as he cups the back of her head and he buries his head in her neck. It takes a few more deep breaths on her part to realize that he’s crying. “I know that we did what’s best-”

“But it doesn’t erase the want,” Quinn finishes sadly.

Rachel hesitantly reaches out, her fingertips gliding over part of Puck’s back that isn’t covered by Quinn. Quinn feels his head turn to look at his girlfriend and she contorts her own body to give them a little more room. Rachel is delicate with him, her hands carefully running over his eyes, his cheeks, his lips. “I love you,” she whispers and Quinn can feel Puck’s body sag as he releases all the air inside of him, like he’d been holding his breath waiting for her to say that.

“I love you too... So fuckin’ much.”

Quinn tries to pull away then, feeling too close to a moment she shouldn’t be a part of, but Rachel stops her. “Are you okay?”

Puck’s knuckles keep running up and down her thigh softly and Rachel holds on to her elbow as if she were trying to keep Quinn stable.

“Yeah,” Quinn answers honestly for the first time in five years. “I’m okay.”