Confessions and Desire (Hitman Side Shot - YooSu)
Title: Confessions and Desire
Pairings: Yoochun/Junsu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Fluffy Smut
Disclaimer: Not mine, Not Yoochun, nor Junsu. And i imagined this porn myself, it's not really true either. I can dream though right?
Summary: Yoochun, cold heartless killer who has no desire to love or be loved, gets a new assignment: Junsu. And then he fucks him ... really gently.
Read Hitman? Click Here for First Part
A/N Yea, I know I need to update a little more often. I will soon! This is like a little compensation gift cuz it's all my brain can think up right now. Fluff or Smut or Angst. Hitman requires a bit more thinking because if I write it with the head I have right now, it's going to get messed up pretty soon and I don't want that. This is the first of a few side shots that I wanted to write for Hitman (i want to keep that story just R idk why.)
And it's dedicated to sanchi7 because she's just awesome. *hugs* thank you baby. You know you rock!
“You hate that you love me and now you can’t kill me or give me away.”
Yoochun’s breath hitched and he let himself get lost in his lips again before his brain wound up and told him how right Junsu was.
Yoochun’s world was spinning. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t done this before; it had just been a little too long. The difference between his last time and now was that the last time he had willingly kissed somebody, it was girl.
The last time somebody was on their knees for him, she had hair up to her shoulders. Tanned skin, almost flawless and teeth that glistened against his skin. Maybe it was just his head but when he liked someone, even their biggest flaws were his greatest likings. It was a weakness, really. And that’s why he didn’t want to get attached to anybody.
He had thought about it before. He was around Jaejoong long enough for the thought of being with men come across his mind at least once. Thinking was different than doing. A better different? He hoped so.
Yoochun felt Junsu’s breath on his lips. They weren’t touching just yet. Junsu’s bottom lip trembled and Yoochun whimpered without meaning to.
“Yoochun,” Junsu said, breath ghosting on the other’s lips, “I’m still tied up.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. I mean, if…if you like that, you know.” Junsu’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red and Yoochun couldn’t help but smile a little. It showed more in his eyes than it did in his face; the smile.
Yoochun just realized he was clutching onto the small metal key in his hand and sweat had gathered around it. He unclenched his fist and reached over to Junsu’s wrist. The cuff snapped off and Junsu immediately twisted his wrist around to get the cramp out.
The free hand went up to Yoochun’s face, fingertips ran down his cheek and he shut his eyes.
This was too slow, too painful for him. But, god, so perfect, so so perfect. He felt the tender touch of lips replacing the fingers and he whimpered, pulling away.
“I’m sorry. This … I can’t.”
“Then just get off me and we can pretend this never happened.”
Yoochun knew that wasn’t possible, for him at least. He could not pretend this never happened, he could not forget the feel of Junsu’s lips on his.
Yoochun shook his head and climbed off of Junsu and Junsu’s heart took a hit. As much as he knew being with Yoochun would hurt, he wasn’t expecting it to hurt so soon. Junsu looked away as Yoochun got off the bed and steadied himself.
“I can’t forget either.” It was a small whisper, Junsu almost didn’t hear it. But he did. His face was being turned over as Yoochun was lowering Junsu to lie with his back pressed to the bed instead of the awkward position they were in before.
Yoochun lay on top of Junsu with his face pressed to his neck. Junsu’s hand fisted the sheets as Yoochun’s mouth ran over the skin on his neck. Yoochun’s mouth never opened, like it never opened when they were kissing, like tongue would make things so much deeper.
Junsu’s breath caught when fingers slid up his shirt. His skin burned as his shirt was pushed up, almost to his chin. He wanted so much more from this man. Yoochun’s lips continued on Junsu’s neck, breath tickling and teasing the skin.
The room was incredibly silent and that accented every breath, every smooch that escaped out of Yoochun’s mouth when he kissed Junsu’s skin.
Junsu didn’t dare move but at the pace Yoochun was going, Junsu wasn’t going to last very long. He felt his pants tightening with every time Yoochun’s lips brushed on him and his thigh rolled into his crotch. Hesitant, he released the death grip on the sheets and clutched Yoochun’s shoulder.
Yoochun suddenly flinched. It was just odd to have him responding to the touches. It made this that much more real.
Yoochun put his legs over Junsu’s hips, almost straddling his hips and capturing him in a steady hold. He crossed his arms and pulled his shirt over his head slowly. The sudden exposure made him shiver a bit and he felt weird under Junsu’s gaze. But then he saw Junsu do the same thing; push up his own over his head to reveal flawless skin with hardened nubs that were inviting Yoochun’s lips.
Junsu blushed as every part of his body showed Yoochun how aroused he was by this. Their eyes were locked to each other’s as they tried to take in each other’s presence. They weren’t unsure of what they had to do next, they were just unsure if the other one wanted it just as much.
“I’m cold.” Hold me, touch me, kiss me.
Yoochun lowered himself so his forearms were sheltering Junsu’s face and their chests pressed together. Junsu gasped at the sudden heat filling him and Yoochun shook.
“Warmer now?”
Junsu nodded, shutting his eyes at the feel of Yoochun’s breath on him. Yoochun’s voice resounded in Junsu’s head. It was the most alluring voice he had ever heard and in a situation like this, it doubled the effect.
Yoochun shifted; his hips grinding down on Junsu’s crotch. Junsu shuddered and pressed his hands on Yoochun’s sides. He had a light hold on him that increased a tiny bit in pressure every time Yoochun’s hips moved and Yoochun’s hardness rubbed against Junsu’s crotch.
“Yoochun, please.”
Junsu’s pants were getting tighter and tighter, to the point where it was almost unbearable. His cock ached for contact or atleast to spring free.
Yoochun continued rolling his hips into Junsu’s, building the desire that lingered in between them both.
“Please, what?” Yoochun’s voice was scratchy, full of hitches. Nervousness and fear dripped from every note that Yoochun let out of his mouth. A person who wouldn’t be scared to take on 5 fully loaded henchmen at a time and knock them down was scared of touching this little boy who was breathing heavily underneath him.
“Touch me,” Junsu said and gasped a little, shutting his eyes in embarrassment when he voiced out his request.
Yoochun moved his lips from Junsu’s neckline to his shoulder blades, taking the time to worship Junsu’s body. His hand slid down near Junsu’s waist and reached below the boxer strap, not all the way but enough for Junsu to shake and bite down on his lip.
“You’re so beautiful.” Yoochun didn’t know where that came from.
Junsu tried not to blush.
When wetness covered Junsu’s erected nipple, he arched up. This was exactly the kind of contact he needed to prove to himself that this was actually happening. He hadn’t done more than kiss and stroke off a boy he had a crush on in high school. After he broke his heart, Junsu didn’t have the interest in being with someone sexually. But that didn’t mean he didn’t watch porn and stroke off every night like a normal teenager.
His hand found Yoochun’s head and his fingers entangled in Yoochun’s short, but thick black hair. He felt Yoochun jerk at that but he didn’t loosen his hold, he wanted to be in on this as much as Yoochun was. Yes, he was shy but he wasn’t a girl.
Yoochun circled his tongue around Junsu’s nipple. It was so familiar, like it just happened yesterday but so different because this nipple wasn’t a woman’s. But that helped him a little. He wanted to be as gentle as possible and with a woman that was crucial, with Junsu, there was less pressure.
His heart was pounding in his head and his brain was lost somewhere between his legs.
“Fuck, Yoochun.” Junsu let out a little whimper when Yoochun used his teeth.
He kissed down Junsu’s stomach leaving Junsu’s nipple gorged and red, begging. He did enough for Junsu to know he was a good with his tongue but just not enough for him to be satisfied. Cool air blew over Junsu’s nipple and he shuddered, supressing a whimper.
Yoochun’s lips grazed over Junsu’s waistline and he held Junsu’s hips down. The apparent tent in his pants was pushing up into Yoochun’s face and it was a little more than Yoochun could handle. But then he had nowhere left to go.
He met Junsu’s eyes from between his legs just once. Like always, Junsu was wide eyed when looking at Yoochun.
He didn’t know what to say or what to do or how to ask Junsu. He though that one wrong thing he said could make all this go away and never come back. He didn’t want it to go away. He wanted this moment forever. Hard, on top of the most gorgeous boy he had ever seen, and tongue flicking out to lick on his skin. That. Forever.
Junsu just thought about all the porn he had watched. They never said anything about how to initiate when you wanted a blowjob. He knew what sounds would come out of his mouth in the middle of it all, he just didn’t know what sound to produce to let Yoochun know that he wanted this and it was okay and, fuck, just take him.
Yoochun’s shaking fingers played with the top of Junsu’s pants.
Junsu put steady fingers on top of them and pushed down.
Yoochun blushed and Junsu let his head fall back, relieved that he didn’t have to say anything to tell Yoochun what he wanted.
The boxers came off next and Junsu’s throbbing erection was finally free. Junsu shut his eyes again and arched his neck back so Yoochun wouldn’t see how red he was turning at Yoochun watching his penis.
Yoochun’s hands wrapped around the base of Junsu’s cock.
“Oh god,” Junsu’s breathed, feeling himself close to coming in just that much contact.
Yoochun’s own cock pulsed inside his pants and he wanted to let them free to but he contemplated on if it would make Junsu feel uncomfortable, if it would be going too fast or simply if it would make things deeper.
He didn’t know how much deeper he could get into this. He didn’t know if it possible to be attached to this boy any more. Intimately was one thing but the way his body jerked and the way his breath slowly let out Yoochun’s name was something Yoochun knew he couldn’t detach himself from.
This was stupid, this was dangerous. He didn’t need this. But he couldn’t get out now. He told himself that this was not practical nor was it necessary. But he just couldn’t get out now.
What now? Yoochun thought to himself. Do I lick and suck and twist with my hands? Or do I stick a finger in the delicious mounds of ass and prepare him.
Yoochun wanted to ask Junsu what he wanted; he wanted this to be for Junsu. Why? He had no clue. Thinking would come later.
“God, do something, Yoochun. Please.”
Yoochun bit down on his bottom lip.
“What?”
Junsu let out a sigh that made Yoochun blush again. He was the older one, he should be the one taking charge.
Junsu whimpered Yoochun pressed down around the base of his cock because the orgasm that was on the tip of bursting was no longer there and he wanted it to be there. Right there on the edge. He wanted Yoochun to take him.
“Fingers,” he gasped out.
Yoochun swallowed the drool that collected in his throat from just hearing that word come out of Junsu’s mouth. He adjusted himself on the bed, ignoring the awkward creaking sounds the mattress made. The thick air was a lot for him to work with.
He wasn’t sure what this was. Was it romantic or awkward or just plain lust? He decided on desire. This was more of a wanting than it was an attachment. He told himself that and sucked on his finger to make it not totally painful. He doubted he had lube in this house somewhere. Unless Jae…
“Wait for me,” Yoochun whispered and the bed dipped as he made his way to the doorway.
Junsu watched him go. Yoochun turned around to ‘sort-of smile’ at him and Junsu’s head fell back again. How could this man be so charming while being so utterly cold? His own hand wrapped around his cock and he twisted his hands the way he liked to. He didn’t want to come, not without Yoochun there to watch. He doubted it would be hard to get Yoochun to arouse him again but he still wanted Yoochun to do it.
“Wait, Yoochun.”
Yoochun retreated from the hallway and poked his head in the doorway. His rock hard cock twitched inside his pants at the sight of Junsu holding onto his cock to keep from coming.
“Take the edge off first. Please, I’m going to …” His cheeks turned a fabulous shade of red as he tried to think of what to say to express that he was going to come any second. “…it just hurts, I’m going to explode or something.”
Yoochun lowered himself on the bed again and between Junsu’s legs. His tongue jumped out to flick the head of Junsu’s cock and Junsu cried out. The small moan that was on his lips turned into a husky scream. Yoochun stroked the length of Junsu’s cock while sucking on the head. He knew what to do because he knew what would make him feel good in this situation.
“Fuck, Yoochun, I’m-“
He felt Junsu’s cock pulsing inside his mouth and under his grasp. And Junsu was clutching on his shoulders telling him to break away because he was going to shoot down his throat any second. But Yoochun didn’t pull away.
Junsu thrashed on the bed, pushing at Yoochun’s shoulder to let him off. He sure didn’t like it when the boy in high school told him to swallow so he wasn’t sure how Yoochun would like it. And he didn’t want Yoochun to hate him or be disgusted by him.
“Yoochun, I’m going to come. Just … let go.”
Yoochun hummed on Junsu’s cock and it was more than Junsu could take. He froze and white clouded his vision as he jerked and spilled down Yoochun’s throat with a loud cry. For another long while nothing but Junsu’s heavy breaths echoed in the room and the gulping of Junsu’s come followed. Yoochun milked Junsu dry and boneless, running his hands on the v line in his pelvis to calm him down.
When Yoochun pulled away, he was breathless and he wiped some thick white liquid from the corner of his mouth before kissing the inside of Junsu’s thighs. At this point, he was harder than a rock and his cock needed a breath as much he did after swallowing Junsu’s come.
“Babe,” Yoochun started before he realized what he said.
“Hmm?”
“Um…I’ll be back.“
Heat covered his cheeks once more. He had definitely forgotten how fragile intimate moments were.
A hand grabbed at his wrist and suddenly the button of his pants was popped open. He was standing against the bed and Junsu was kneeling on the bed in front of Yoochun’s crotch.
“Junsu,” Yoochun said cautiously, almost questioning him.
“It’s okay.” Yoochun’s pants pooled around his ankles and Junsu did it hastily. He wanted to worship Yoochun’s body just as much Yoochun did to him but off the post orgasmic high, he couldn’t think of much else but giving Yoochun the same pleasure he had just received.
Junsu licked his lips at the sight of Yoochun’s erect dick in front of his face. He held it from the base and put one hand on his waist.
“Shit, Junsu, please.”
That was all Junsu needed to encourage his advance. He had never done this before but he focused on the things that felt good when Yoochun was doing the same to him. Stroking upwards from the base and licking the head was what he started with.
Yoochun bit on his lip from screaming. His throat was so tight and it was warm around his cock. It took his all not to cant his hips forward and fuck the beautiful face. He placed his hand on Junsu’s cheeks, caressing them as he saw Junsu stretch his mouth more than what was comfortable to take Yoochun’s cock in.
Yoochun’s head fell back as most of his length was engulfed by Junsu’s hot mouth. His mouth fell open and whatever breath was left in him was fighting to get out.
It wasn’t long before he felt a single tear drop from Junsu’s eyes. He wiped at it and then ran his thumb over Junsu’s eyelid, using his other hand to sooth Junsu by rubbing and tangling his fingers in Junsu’s hair.
“Sh. It’s okay, not…long now.”
Too much to focus on, too much going on at once. Yoochun was trying to breathe, orgasm coursing through him, as well as calm Junsu down at the same time. Junsu was trying to pleasure Yoochun while trying not to gag at the size of him but still enjoy his taste.
Yoochun didn’t even realize when the orgasm that was building up since the last hour collected in his cock. He arched forward, hitting the back of Junsu’s throat, jerking a little, not meaning to test how much the little throat could take.
Junsu gagged on the first spurt and coughed on the second. Come spilled all over his face and on the bed, running down his neck and stomach. Yoochun’s breath shortened, coming out in quick gasps as he had his strongest orgasm in years. Jerking off was more like a weekly thing for him. He liked to think that his orgasms were forced out of him at a young age and he simply didn’t need any.
“You want me to clean you up, Su?”
Junsu brightened at the nickname that Yoochun didn’t even realize he had given him. “No, you can go get what you were getting before.”
Yoochun was a little shy to walk away naked, leaving Junsu to check out his ass which he took full advantage of. Junsu curled up on his side and he always thought that at this time a hundred thoughts would be running through his mind but all he could think of was Yoochun and the feel of his hands on Junsu’s face.
His eyelids were getting heavy but he fought to stay awake. He was sure when Yoochun returned with the lube, he would be wide awake and ready but the waiting time was like an aching. His first time. Junsu tingled just thinking those words.
Junsu felt lips on his side and he jerked, moaning a little. But he slowly relaxed when he remembered it was Yoochun and Yoochun…was Yoochun.
“How do you want it?”
“I want it with you.”
Yoochun chuckled.
“I have to warn you, it’s been … a while for me. I don’t know how good it will be.”
“Yoochun.” Junsu turned to face him. “We’re both on the same boat then.”
“No, you’re bottoming. We’re so not on the same boat.”
“It’s okay, really.”
“Shit, I don’t even know what I’m doing. I could seriously hurt you.”
Junsu laughed. “You’ve punched the shit out of me before.”
Yoochun winced. “It was…I’m sor-“
Junsu covered Yoochun’s mouth with his hand before Yoochun could continue. Junsu shook his head. “Don’t say sorry.”
“It’s my job. And that’s what kills me. It’s what makes this so much more complicated.”
Junsu shivered at the hitch in Yoochun’s breath and wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck.
“If they’re going to kill me then you can make my last moments special.”
“Shh. Don’t say that, ever.”
“Yoochun, please.”
Junsu took the bottle of lube from Yoochun’s hands and covered Yoochun’s hand with it. Yoochun kissed along his waist and turned Junsu over. He reached for a pillow for Junsu to rest head on and Junsu lay with his ass in the air, legs spread and bent at the knees.
Yoochun ran a cool, slick finger down Junsu’s beautiful ass crack and Junsu wriggled. Yoochun spread his cheeks, shivering at the pink, puckered entrance and watched as it clenched around air.
“This is going to hurt a little.”
“I’m a virgin. It’s going to hurt a lot.”
Yoochun kissed his ass cheek in response and was suddenly glad that they had taken the edge off before. He slipped a finger inside Junsu and Junsu hissed, digging his face into the pillow underneath him.
Yoochun continued laying kisses on Junsu’s lower back as his finger moved inside Junsu. He twisted and crooked his finger, trying to sooth and stretch Junsu at the same time.
“Are you okay?”
“Mhhm.”
“I’m going to put another finger in now, okay, Su?”
Junsu groaned in response and Yoochun slipped his middle finger in along with the first. Junsu arched his back, sweat pooling all around his bare skin and his hair stuck to his skin. He tried shutting his eyes but every twist of Yoochun’s fingers brought him back to Yoochun and just Yoochun.
“God, Yoochun…please just…it’s enough.”
“No, it’s not.”
Yoochun leaned down to Junsu’s hole and flicked out his tongue to ease the pain even more because he could tell by Junsu’s strained voice how much this was hurting him.
Junsu gasped and arched further back into his face.
“Relax.”
Junsu grunted and buried his face in the pillow again.
It was painful and it was torture but for reasons other than the fact Yoochun had three fingers inside him. Junsu’s insides were begging for Yoochun’s cock.
“Please, Yoochun, please.”
Junsu’s hole ate up Yoochun’s fingers and held on to them, his walls tightening around them. If Yoochun’s own cock wasn’t begging for the same thing, Yoochun would have spent a little more time on this.
Junsu reached for the lube despite the pain that shot up his back and covered his hand with it. He took Yoochun’s cock in the hand and stroked up and down bringing out a short gasp from Yoochun’s mouth.
“Fuck, Su. This is going to kill, you don’t understand.”
“God damn it, I know okay? Just…do it. I never would have thought you were such a wimp.”
Normally Yoochun would have fumed at that and fucked the daylights out of whoever it was. But then Junsu looked back and gave him a teasing smile. All was forgotten expect the small instruction that echoed inside his head. Fuck me.
When the soft head of Yoochun’s cock pushed inside Junsu, he screamed into his pillow, tears threatening to escaped any second. He knew it would hurt, he was ready for that. He also knew it felt good at some point and he would wait because he knew Yoochun was feeling good with this.
Yoochun made sure to go as slow as he could. Junsu’s small waist looked like it would snap if Yoochun held it too hard and that’s exactly what Yoochun liked about this. Nothing he ever did in life was this meticulous and nothing more pleasurable.
Junsu was so so so tight. Yoochun hadn’t done this in so long that even the loosest hole would have pleasured him but this was … too much. He would last more than two minutes inside this boy. And the speed was enough torture.
Yoochun pushed in slowly and then pulled back a bit, careful not to go all the way until he stretched him out fully.
Seconds felt like hours to Junsu. The feeling of being ripped apart collecting in every muscle of his lower back. Pain. He felt wetness on his cheek and knew he had started crying involuntarily. No sobbing though, he knew Yoochun would freak out. He had to smile at that thought. This man, the one who wouldn’t bat an eye just a few days ago if Junsu was bloody and unconscious was so gentle in bed.
“Is it okay? Can I…”
“Shut up, you’re making me blush.”
“I wish I could see that blush.”
They really didn’t realize when the communication no longer became a problem. Yoochun didn’t try to hide the smiles and Junsu didn’t shut his eyes as often.
Yoochun pushed himself inside Junsu once more, going a bit deeper this time and felt that Junsu’s insides welcomed him a bit more, stretching as Yoochun wanted. They were still stubborn but better than the first push. He worked himself inside Junsu, until he was fully seated in him, his hip touching Junsu’s ass. He let out a heavy breath, commemorating victory of some sort.
Junsu clung to the sheets. “Yoochun.”
Yoochun rolled his hips into Junsu slowly and Junsu felt the pain slowly turn to pleasure. Too much pleasure.
Yoochun collapsed over Junsu’s back, his face right beside Junsu’s and pressed his chest on his back. He slunk a hand over and around Junsu’s waist as he moved inside of him.
Junsu thought he would have wanted to scream obscenities, wanted to yell for Yoochun to go harder and faster but he couldn’t bring himself to want that. He was perfect. Yoochun moved slowly inside him, despite what his body told him to do.
That’s when he realized he had hurt Junsu enough for a lifetime.
His hand stroked Junsu’s erection along with Junsu’s insides stroking his own length.
“Call me greasy for saying this but, Junsu-ah, let’s come together.”
Junsu smiled in between his small moans. “I have no doubt you’re Yoohwan’s brother.”
“You haven’t fucked him before, have you?”
“Yoochun! No.”
“Just checking,” Yoochun said with a twist of his hand. Junsu arched back and settled his head on Yoochun’s neck, soaking up every ounce of the unbearable pleasure.
They came together, like Yoochun wanted, maybe a second or two in difference but both of them were too hazed to notice it. Yoochun pulled out slowly and rolled off Junsu despite the protesting whimper that escaped Junsu mouth.
The first thing Yoochun did was wipe the tears streaking Junsu’s face. This time, he wanted Junsu to look at him but his eyes were barely opening. Then he knelt between Junsu’s legs and cleaned his come dripping down Junsu’s thigh. He winced when he saw blood.
“Virgins bleed, Yoochun. Not your fault.” Junsu didn’t even need to look at Yoochun to know that was what Yoochun needed him to say. “We’ll clean up later; I’m actually quite comfortable, right now.”
“And when you wake up-“
“It’s going to sting, I know.”
They lay side by side for a few minutes, catching their breaths and trying to catch a hint of conversation in the other’s breath.
“Yoochun, thank you.”
“For?”
“Not hurting me.”
“I won’t hurt you. Not anymore.”
--
Pairings: Yoochun/Junsu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Fluffy Smut
Disclaimer: Not mine, Not Yoochun, nor Junsu. And i imagined this porn myself, it's not really true either. I can dream though right?
Summary: Yoochun, cold heartless killer who has no desire to love or be loved, gets a new assignment: Junsu. And then he fucks him ... really gently.
Read Hitman? Click Here for First Part
A/N Yea, I know I need to update a little more often. I will soon! This is like a little compensation gift cuz it's all my brain can think up right now. Fluff or Smut or Angst. Hitman requires a bit more thinking because if I write it with the head I have right now, it's going to get messed up pretty soon and I don't want that. This is the first of a few side shots that I wanted to write for Hitman (i want to keep that story just R idk why.)
And it's dedicated to sanchi7 because she's just awesome. *hugs* thank you baby. You know you rock!
“You hate that you love me and now you can’t kill me or give me away.”
Yoochun’s breath hitched and he let himself get lost in his lips again before his brain wound up and told him how right Junsu was.
Yoochun’s world was spinning. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t done this before; it had just been a little too long. The difference between his last time and now was that the last time he had willingly kissed somebody, it was girl.
The last time somebody was on their knees for him, she had hair up to her shoulders. Tanned skin, almost flawless and teeth that glistened against his skin. Maybe it was just his head but when he liked someone, even their biggest flaws were his greatest likings. It was a weakness, really. And that’s why he didn’t want to get attached to anybody.
He had thought about it before. He was around Jaejoong long enough for the thought of being with men come across his mind at least once. Thinking was different than doing. A better different? He hoped so.
Yoochun felt Junsu’s breath on his lips. They weren’t touching just yet. Junsu’s bottom lip trembled and Yoochun whimpered without meaning to.
“Yoochun,” Junsu said, breath ghosting on the other’s lips, “I’m still tied up.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. I mean, if…if you like that, you know.” Junsu’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red and Yoochun couldn’t help but smile a little. It showed more in his eyes than it did in his face; the smile.
Yoochun just realized he was clutching onto the small metal key in his hand and sweat had gathered around it. He unclenched his fist and reached over to Junsu’s wrist. The cuff snapped off and Junsu immediately twisted his wrist around to get the cramp out.
The free hand went up to Yoochun’s face, fingertips ran down his cheek and he shut his eyes.
This was too slow, too painful for him. But, god, so perfect, so so perfect. He felt the tender touch of lips replacing the fingers and he whimpered, pulling away.
“I’m sorry. This … I can’t.”
“Then just get off me and we can pretend this never happened.”
Yoochun knew that wasn’t possible, for him at least. He could not pretend this never happened, he could not forget the feel of Junsu’s lips on his.
Yoochun shook his head and climbed off of Junsu and Junsu’s heart took a hit. As much as he knew being with Yoochun would hurt, he wasn’t expecting it to hurt so soon. Junsu looked away as Yoochun got off the bed and steadied himself.
“I can’t forget either.” It was a small whisper, Junsu almost didn’t hear it. But he did. His face was being turned over as Yoochun was lowering Junsu to lie with his back pressed to the bed instead of the awkward position they were in before.
Yoochun lay on top of Junsu with his face pressed to his neck. Junsu’s hand fisted the sheets as Yoochun’s mouth ran over the skin on his neck. Yoochun’s mouth never opened, like it never opened when they were kissing, like tongue would make things so much deeper.
Junsu’s breath caught when fingers slid up his shirt. His skin burned as his shirt was pushed up, almost to his chin. He wanted so much more from this man. Yoochun’s lips continued on Junsu’s neck, breath tickling and teasing the skin.
The room was incredibly silent and that accented every breath, every smooch that escaped out of Yoochun’s mouth when he kissed Junsu’s skin.
Junsu didn’t dare move but at the pace Yoochun was going, Junsu wasn’t going to last very long. He felt his pants tightening with every time Yoochun’s lips brushed on him and his thigh rolled into his crotch. Hesitant, he released the death grip on the sheets and clutched Yoochun’s shoulder.
Yoochun suddenly flinched. It was just odd to have him responding to the touches. It made this that much more real.
Yoochun put his legs over Junsu’s hips, almost straddling his hips and capturing him in a steady hold. He crossed his arms and pulled his shirt over his head slowly. The sudden exposure made him shiver a bit and he felt weird under Junsu’s gaze. But then he saw Junsu do the same thing; push up his own over his head to reveal flawless skin with hardened nubs that were inviting Yoochun’s lips.
Junsu blushed as every part of his body showed Yoochun how aroused he was by this. Their eyes were locked to each other’s as they tried to take in each other’s presence. They weren’t unsure of what they had to do next, they were just unsure if the other one wanted it just as much.
“I’m cold.” Hold me, touch me, kiss me.
Yoochun lowered himself so his forearms were sheltering Junsu’s face and their chests pressed together. Junsu gasped at the sudden heat filling him and Yoochun shook.
“Warmer now?”
Junsu nodded, shutting his eyes at the feel of Yoochun’s breath on him. Yoochun’s voice resounded in Junsu’s head. It was the most alluring voice he had ever heard and in a situation like this, it doubled the effect.
Yoochun shifted; his hips grinding down on Junsu’s crotch. Junsu shuddered and pressed his hands on Yoochun’s sides. He had a light hold on him that increased a tiny bit in pressure every time Yoochun’s hips moved and Yoochun’s hardness rubbed against Junsu’s crotch.
“Yoochun, please.”
Junsu’s pants were getting tighter and tighter, to the point where it was almost unbearable. His cock ached for contact or atleast to spring free.
Yoochun continued rolling his hips into Junsu’s, building the desire that lingered in between them both.
“Please, what?” Yoochun’s voice was scratchy, full of hitches. Nervousness and fear dripped from every note that Yoochun let out of his mouth. A person who wouldn’t be scared to take on 5 fully loaded henchmen at a time and knock them down was scared of touching this little boy who was breathing heavily underneath him.
“Touch me,” Junsu said and gasped a little, shutting his eyes in embarrassment when he voiced out his request.
Yoochun moved his lips from Junsu’s neckline to his shoulder blades, taking the time to worship Junsu’s body. His hand slid down near Junsu’s waist and reached below the boxer strap, not all the way but enough for Junsu to shake and bite down on his lip.
“You’re so beautiful.” Yoochun didn’t know where that came from.
Junsu tried not to blush.
When wetness covered Junsu’s erected nipple, he arched up. This was exactly the kind of contact he needed to prove to himself that this was actually happening. He hadn’t done more than kiss and stroke off a boy he had a crush on in high school. After he broke his heart, Junsu didn’t have the interest in being with someone sexually. But that didn’t mean he didn’t watch porn and stroke off every night like a normal teenager.
His hand found Yoochun’s head and his fingers entangled in Yoochun’s short, but thick black hair. He felt Yoochun jerk at that but he didn’t loosen his hold, he wanted to be in on this as much as Yoochun was. Yes, he was shy but he wasn’t a girl.
Yoochun circled his tongue around Junsu’s nipple. It was so familiar, like it just happened yesterday but so different because this nipple wasn’t a woman’s. But that helped him a little. He wanted to be as gentle as possible and with a woman that was crucial, with Junsu, there was less pressure.
His heart was pounding in his head and his brain was lost somewhere between his legs.
“Fuck, Yoochun.” Junsu let out a little whimper when Yoochun used his teeth.
He kissed down Junsu’s stomach leaving Junsu’s nipple gorged and red, begging. He did enough for Junsu to know he was a good with his tongue but just not enough for him to be satisfied. Cool air blew over Junsu’s nipple and he shuddered, supressing a whimper.
Yoochun’s lips grazed over Junsu’s waistline and he held Junsu’s hips down. The apparent tent in his pants was pushing up into Yoochun’s face and it was a little more than Yoochun could handle. But then he had nowhere left to go.
He met Junsu’s eyes from between his legs just once. Like always, Junsu was wide eyed when looking at Yoochun.
He didn’t know what to say or what to do or how to ask Junsu. He though that one wrong thing he said could make all this go away and never come back. He didn’t want it to go away. He wanted this moment forever. Hard, on top of the most gorgeous boy he had ever seen, and tongue flicking out to lick on his skin. That. Forever.
Junsu just thought about all the porn he had watched. They never said anything about how to initiate when you wanted a blowjob. He knew what sounds would come out of his mouth in the middle of it all, he just didn’t know what sound to produce to let Yoochun know that he wanted this and it was okay and, fuck, just take him.
Yoochun’s shaking fingers played with the top of Junsu’s pants.
Junsu put steady fingers on top of them and pushed down.
Yoochun blushed and Junsu let his head fall back, relieved that he didn’t have to say anything to tell Yoochun what he wanted.
The boxers came off next and Junsu’s throbbing erection was finally free. Junsu shut his eyes again and arched his neck back so Yoochun wouldn’t see how red he was turning at Yoochun watching his penis.
Yoochun’s hands wrapped around the base of Junsu’s cock.
“Oh god,” Junsu’s breathed, feeling himself close to coming in just that much contact.
Yoochun’s own cock pulsed inside his pants and he wanted to let them free to but he contemplated on if it would make Junsu feel uncomfortable, if it would be going too fast or simply if it would make things deeper.
He didn’t know how much deeper he could get into this. He didn’t know if it possible to be attached to this boy any more. Intimately was one thing but the way his body jerked and the way his breath slowly let out Yoochun’s name was something Yoochun knew he couldn’t detach himself from.
This was stupid, this was dangerous. He didn’t need this. But he couldn’t get out now. He told himself that this was not practical nor was it necessary. But he just couldn’t get out now.
What now? Yoochun thought to himself. Do I lick and suck and twist with my hands? Or do I stick a finger in the delicious mounds of ass and prepare him.
Yoochun wanted to ask Junsu what he wanted; he wanted this to be for Junsu. Why? He had no clue. Thinking would come later.
“God, do something, Yoochun. Please.”
Yoochun bit down on his bottom lip.
“What?”
Junsu let out a sigh that made Yoochun blush again. He was the older one, he should be the one taking charge.
Junsu whimpered Yoochun pressed down around the base of his cock because the orgasm that was on the tip of bursting was no longer there and he wanted it to be there. Right there on the edge. He wanted Yoochun to take him.
“Fingers,” he gasped out.
Yoochun swallowed the drool that collected in his throat from just hearing that word come out of Junsu’s mouth. He adjusted himself on the bed, ignoring the awkward creaking sounds the mattress made. The thick air was a lot for him to work with.
He wasn’t sure what this was. Was it romantic or awkward or just plain lust? He decided on desire. This was more of a wanting than it was an attachment. He told himself that and sucked on his finger to make it not totally painful. He doubted he had lube in this house somewhere. Unless Jae…
“Wait for me,” Yoochun whispered and the bed dipped as he made his way to the doorway.
Junsu watched him go. Yoochun turned around to ‘sort-of smile’ at him and Junsu’s head fell back again. How could this man be so charming while being so utterly cold? His own hand wrapped around his cock and he twisted his hands the way he liked to. He didn’t want to come, not without Yoochun there to watch. He doubted it would be hard to get Yoochun to arouse him again but he still wanted Yoochun to do it.
“Wait, Yoochun.”
Yoochun retreated from the hallway and poked his head in the doorway. His rock hard cock twitched inside his pants at the sight of Junsu holding onto his cock to keep from coming.
“Take the edge off first. Please, I’m going to …” His cheeks turned a fabulous shade of red as he tried to think of what to say to express that he was going to come any second. “…it just hurts, I’m going to explode or something.”
Yoochun lowered himself on the bed again and between Junsu’s legs. His tongue jumped out to flick the head of Junsu’s cock and Junsu cried out. The small moan that was on his lips turned into a husky scream. Yoochun stroked the length of Junsu’s cock while sucking on the head. He knew what to do because he knew what would make him feel good in this situation.
“Fuck, Yoochun, I’m-“
He felt Junsu’s cock pulsing inside his mouth and under his grasp. And Junsu was clutching on his shoulders telling him to break away because he was going to shoot down his throat any second. But Yoochun didn’t pull away.
Junsu thrashed on the bed, pushing at Yoochun’s shoulder to let him off. He sure didn’t like it when the boy in high school told him to swallow so he wasn’t sure how Yoochun would like it. And he didn’t want Yoochun to hate him or be disgusted by him.
“Yoochun, I’m going to come. Just … let go.”
Yoochun hummed on Junsu’s cock and it was more than Junsu could take. He froze and white clouded his vision as he jerked and spilled down Yoochun’s throat with a loud cry. For another long while nothing but Junsu’s heavy breaths echoed in the room and the gulping of Junsu’s come followed. Yoochun milked Junsu dry and boneless, running his hands on the v line in his pelvis to calm him down.
When Yoochun pulled away, he was breathless and he wiped some thick white liquid from the corner of his mouth before kissing the inside of Junsu’s thighs. At this point, he was harder than a rock and his cock needed a breath as much he did after swallowing Junsu’s come.
“Babe,” Yoochun started before he realized what he said.
“Hmm?”
“Um…I’ll be back.“
Heat covered his cheeks once more. He had definitely forgotten how fragile intimate moments were.
A hand grabbed at his wrist and suddenly the button of his pants was popped open. He was standing against the bed and Junsu was kneeling on the bed in front of Yoochun’s crotch.
“Junsu,” Yoochun said cautiously, almost questioning him.
“It’s okay.” Yoochun’s pants pooled around his ankles and Junsu did it hastily. He wanted to worship Yoochun’s body just as much Yoochun did to him but off the post orgasmic high, he couldn’t think of much else but giving Yoochun the same pleasure he had just received.
Junsu licked his lips at the sight of Yoochun’s erect dick in front of his face. He held it from the base and put one hand on his waist.
“Shit, Junsu, please.”
That was all Junsu needed to encourage his advance. He had never done this before but he focused on the things that felt good when Yoochun was doing the same to him. Stroking upwards from the base and licking the head was what he started with.
Yoochun bit on his lip from screaming. His throat was so tight and it was warm around his cock. It took his all not to cant his hips forward and fuck the beautiful face. He placed his hand on Junsu’s cheeks, caressing them as he saw Junsu stretch his mouth more than what was comfortable to take Yoochun’s cock in.
Yoochun’s head fell back as most of his length was engulfed by Junsu’s hot mouth. His mouth fell open and whatever breath was left in him was fighting to get out.
It wasn’t long before he felt a single tear drop from Junsu’s eyes. He wiped at it and then ran his thumb over Junsu’s eyelid, using his other hand to sooth Junsu by rubbing and tangling his fingers in Junsu’s hair.
“Sh. It’s okay, not…long now.”
Too much to focus on, too much going on at once. Yoochun was trying to breathe, orgasm coursing through him, as well as calm Junsu down at the same time. Junsu was trying to pleasure Yoochun while trying not to gag at the size of him but still enjoy his taste.
Yoochun didn’t even realize when the orgasm that was building up since the last hour collected in his cock. He arched forward, hitting the back of Junsu’s throat, jerking a little, not meaning to test how much the little throat could take.
Junsu gagged on the first spurt and coughed on the second. Come spilled all over his face and on the bed, running down his neck and stomach. Yoochun’s breath shortened, coming out in quick gasps as he had his strongest orgasm in years. Jerking off was more like a weekly thing for him. He liked to think that his orgasms were forced out of him at a young age and he simply didn’t need any.
“You want me to clean you up, Su?”
Junsu brightened at the nickname that Yoochun didn’t even realize he had given him. “No, you can go get what you were getting before.”
Yoochun was a little shy to walk away naked, leaving Junsu to check out his ass which he took full advantage of. Junsu curled up on his side and he always thought that at this time a hundred thoughts would be running through his mind but all he could think of was Yoochun and the feel of his hands on Junsu’s face.
His eyelids were getting heavy but he fought to stay awake. He was sure when Yoochun returned with the lube, he would be wide awake and ready but the waiting time was like an aching. His first time. Junsu tingled just thinking those words.
Junsu felt lips on his side and he jerked, moaning a little. But he slowly relaxed when he remembered it was Yoochun and Yoochun…was Yoochun.
“How do you want it?”
“I want it with you.”
Yoochun chuckled.
“I have to warn you, it’s been … a while for me. I don’t know how good it will be.”
“Yoochun.” Junsu turned to face him. “We’re both on the same boat then.”
“No, you’re bottoming. We’re so not on the same boat.”
“It’s okay, really.”
“Shit, I don’t even know what I’m doing. I could seriously hurt you.”
Junsu laughed. “You’ve punched the shit out of me before.”
Yoochun winced. “It was…I’m sor-“
Junsu covered Yoochun’s mouth with his hand before Yoochun could continue. Junsu shook his head. “Don’t say sorry.”
“It’s my job. And that’s what kills me. It’s what makes this so much more complicated.”
Junsu shivered at the hitch in Yoochun’s breath and wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck.
“If they’re going to kill me then you can make my last moments special.”
“Shh. Don’t say that, ever.”
“Yoochun, please.”
Junsu took the bottle of lube from Yoochun’s hands and covered Yoochun’s hand with it. Yoochun kissed along his waist and turned Junsu over. He reached for a pillow for Junsu to rest head on and Junsu lay with his ass in the air, legs spread and bent at the knees.
Yoochun ran a cool, slick finger down Junsu’s beautiful ass crack and Junsu wriggled. Yoochun spread his cheeks, shivering at the pink, puckered entrance and watched as it clenched around air.
“This is going to hurt a little.”
“I’m a virgin. It’s going to hurt a lot.”
Yoochun kissed his ass cheek in response and was suddenly glad that they had taken the edge off before. He slipped a finger inside Junsu and Junsu hissed, digging his face into the pillow underneath him.
Yoochun continued laying kisses on Junsu’s lower back as his finger moved inside Junsu. He twisted and crooked his finger, trying to sooth and stretch Junsu at the same time.
“Are you okay?”
“Mhhm.”
“I’m going to put another finger in now, okay, Su?”
Junsu groaned in response and Yoochun slipped his middle finger in along with the first. Junsu arched his back, sweat pooling all around his bare skin and his hair stuck to his skin. He tried shutting his eyes but every twist of Yoochun’s fingers brought him back to Yoochun and just Yoochun.
“God, Yoochun…please just…it’s enough.”
“No, it’s not.”
Yoochun leaned down to Junsu’s hole and flicked out his tongue to ease the pain even more because he could tell by Junsu’s strained voice how much this was hurting him.
Junsu gasped and arched further back into his face.
“Relax.”
Junsu grunted and buried his face in the pillow again.
It was painful and it was torture but for reasons other than the fact Yoochun had three fingers inside him. Junsu’s insides were begging for Yoochun’s cock.
“Please, Yoochun, please.”
Junsu’s hole ate up Yoochun’s fingers and held on to them, his walls tightening around them. If Yoochun’s own cock wasn’t begging for the same thing, Yoochun would have spent a little more time on this.
Junsu reached for the lube despite the pain that shot up his back and covered his hand with it. He took Yoochun’s cock in the hand and stroked up and down bringing out a short gasp from Yoochun’s mouth.
“Fuck, Su. This is going to kill, you don’t understand.”
“God damn it, I know okay? Just…do it. I never would have thought you were such a wimp.”
Normally Yoochun would have fumed at that and fucked the daylights out of whoever it was. But then Junsu looked back and gave him a teasing smile. All was forgotten expect the small instruction that echoed inside his head. Fuck me.
When the soft head of Yoochun’s cock pushed inside Junsu, he screamed into his pillow, tears threatening to escaped any second. He knew it would hurt, he was ready for that. He also knew it felt good at some point and he would wait because he knew Yoochun was feeling good with this.
Yoochun made sure to go as slow as he could. Junsu’s small waist looked like it would snap if Yoochun held it too hard and that’s exactly what Yoochun liked about this. Nothing he ever did in life was this meticulous and nothing more pleasurable.
Junsu was so so so tight. Yoochun hadn’t done this in so long that even the loosest hole would have pleasured him but this was … too much. He would last more than two minutes inside this boy. And the speed was enough torture.
Yoochun pushed in slowly and then pulled back a bit, careful not to go all the way until he stretched him out fully.
Seconds felt like hours to Junsu. The feeling of being ripped apart collecting in every muscle of his lower back. Pain. He felt wetness on his cheek and knew he had started crying involuntarily. No sobbing though, he knew Yoochun would freak out. He had to smile at that thought. This man, the one who wouldn’t bat an eye just a few days ago if Junsu was bloody and unconscious was so gentle in bed.
“Is it okay? Can I…”
“Shut up, you’re making me blush.”
“I wish I could see that blush.”
They really didn’t realize when the communication no longer became a problem. Yoochun didn’t try to hide the smiles and Junsu didn’t shut his eyes as often.
Yoochun pushed himself inside Junsu once more, going a bit deeper this time and felt that Junsu’s insides welcomed him a bit more, stretching as Yoochun wanted. They were still stubborn but better than the first push. He worked himself inside Junsu, until he was fully seated in him, his hip touching Junsu’s ass. He let out a heavy breath, commemorating victory of some sort.
Junsu clung to the sheets. “Yoochun.”
Yoochun rolled his hips into Junsu slowly and Junsu felt the pain slowly turn to pleasure. Too much pleasure.
Yoochun collapsed over Junsu’s back, his face right beside Junsu’s and pressed his chest on his back. He slunk a hand over and around Junsu’s waist as he moved inside of him.
Junsu thought he would have wanted to scream obscenities, wanted to yell for Yoochun to go harder and faster but he couldn’t bring himself to want that. He was perfect. Yoochun moved slowly inside him, despite what his body told him to do.
That’s when he realized he had hurt Junsu enough for a lifetime.
His hand stroked Junsu’s erection along with Junsu’s insides stroking his own length.
“Call me greasy for saying this but, Junsu-ah, let’s come together.”
Junsu smiled in between his small moans. “I have no doubt you’re Yoohwan’s brother.”
“You haven’t fucked him before, have you?”
“Yoochun! No.”
“Just checking,” Yoochun said with a twist of his hand. Junsu arched back and settled his head on Yoochun’s neck, soaking up every ounce of the unbearable pleasure.
They came together, like Yoochun wanted, maybe a second or two in difference but both of them were too hazed to notice it. Yoochun pulled out slowly and rolled off Junsu despite the protesting whimper that escaped Junsu mouth.
The first thing Yoochun did was wipe the tears streaking Junsu’s face. This time, he wanted Junsu to look at him but his eyes were barely opening. Then he knelt between Junsu’s legs and cleaned his come dripping down Junsu’s thigh. He winced when he saw blood.
“Virgins bleed, Yoochun. Not your fault.” Junsu didn’t even need to look at Yoochun to know that was what Yoochun needed him to say. “We’ll clean up later; I’m actually quite comfortable, right now.”
“And when you wake up-“
“It’s going to sting, I know.”
They lay side by side for a few minutes, catching their breaths and trying to catch a hint of conversation in the other’s breath.
“Yoochun, thank you.”
“For?”
“Not hurting me.”
“I won’t hurt you. Not anymore.”
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