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be_ddelusionall July 29 2010, 04:10:53 UTC
Okay darling, you ready for this?
There are three instances where you should have periods instead of commas, BUT, I'm pretty sure it's something we didn't talk about before. So ... happy hunting. Let me know if you need a hint. *giggles*

But really, so so so so much better. YAYAY

and dude, Yunho ... *SMACKS HIM REALLY REALLY HARD* ... WTF, yo???

I like this talk; it really brought the JaeChun closer and closer and anything that does that is my new favorite thing.

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only4dbsk July 29 2010, 04:31:12 UTC
OMG I THINK I KNOW! ok..so after the dialogue tag, there needs to be a period right? like

"Blah Blah," he said. "Blah blah blah."

i fixed what i could find!!!

i like your comments...they look so well punctuated, of course, I've only just started to notice :)

i like this talk too...but i still feel their distance and it kills me that i don't know if i can fix it PROPERLY!!

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be_ddelusionall July 29 2010, 04:40:34 UTC
YES YES YES YES YES!!!!

BUT

you have to be careful.

For example, from you're story:
“Jae, if you turned homo for that Ho, he must be something great.”

If you did it this way:
"Jae," Yoochun said, "if you turned homo for that Ho, he must be something great."

That dialogue tag interupts a complete sentence, so you do need a comma after said. In the parts of your story, a new sentence started after the dialogue tag, so a period is needed.

*SMACKS YUNHO AGAIN JUST BECAUSE I CAN*

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be_ddelusionall July 29 2010, 04:44:04 UTC
*your

... from your story:

I fail.


... )

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only4dbsk July 29 2010, 04:51:35 UTC
XDDD but u correct yourself so it's all good!

OMG *dances* i get it :D check check and check, comma nazi!

*glomps you for making me feel smart* ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love you babe!

*pulls yunho by the collar and drags into bedroom* i think he should be distracted for a while and leave chunjae alone :)

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be_ddelusionall July 29 2010, 04:53:45 UTC
don't be TOO cocky just yet. You still have some missing commas, and comma splices, but the ones on the dialogue are PERFECT :)

well, if you're pulling him into the bedroom ... *gets whip ready* ... smacking just isn't going to cut it. :)

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only4dbsk July 29 2010, 05:04:59 UTC
slow and steady then!! ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL CONQUER THOSE DAMN COMMAS! *is determined* ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ *still worships you* SENSEI!

you have whips HANDY! o.O interesting :D
the Ho doesn't get abused enough XD

(i keep feeling the need to edit my comments too but then i'm like WTF? LOL!)

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be_ddelusionall July 29 2010, 05:06:27 UTC
I only have proper puncutaion in my comments when I think about it. otherwise, eh, whatever.

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only4dbsk July 29 2010, 05:14:40 UTC
you're making me start to think about it! ♥

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