i'm so tired of
whining and complaining. but i don't do it to anyone else and i just bottle it in. I hate sympathy and i'm definitely not asking for it. I just want to know when things are going to get better. yeah so it's only been two and a halfish days that she's been "gone" if you will, but i swear its the hardest fucking two and a half days. my throat hurts from trying not to cry in public. and it doesnt help when your chiro asks how youre doin bc "she was like your other half right?" yes let me just ball right now while getting adjusted. no, thanks. i think when i am back at work things will be more like a lifeless routine and it'll help. and school just started so i can focus on that and not failing this time, maybe even budget better, save money, and get use out of my gym pass. get Gwen licensed and take her OUT like to the park or dog beach. speaking of whom, she's been a lifeless lump of love all day haha. ok, just had to get SOME of this out. and i feel horrible because i couldn't say much of anything when i was leaving except "it'll be ok in a few months ur flyin out" how shitty. i'm sorry. i held my emotions back because i really couldn't cry in front of you, i would have ended up not driving. That proved to be true through mt shasta.