i'm not quite sure

[only2be_with_u]

how long you are suppose to miss somebody
or if i just miss how things used to be
and not what they became towards the end
and how they could have been if i maybe just gave one more chance
but theres always going to be that lingering what if
i miss him
and its hard to heal and move on with out having my own time
i dont know if im just going to become numb
or if its just prolonging me wanting to rip my heart out and never love again
he was such a big part of my life
and it almost seems not fair to give him that chance he pretty much begged for
and then to allow this other big part of my life in?
how can i do that? almost seems like i never cared
or like i'm fucking him over
but im not and those aren't my intentions
i have no idea where i belong or who i belong with if anybody
ever since washington i just feel so uprooted and lost
orange county is not my home
but i dont know where is
i didnt want to come home, i just wanted to see kris
and i could care less about my surroundings

ugh going to cut this short
have to get ready for this thing i call a job