Not getting easier

[only1tolive4]

Well, i just got home from work. No i wasnt in trouble, thank god. But lenore and Lauren came up there to see me. And of course, Lenore asked about me and ashley. Of course not seriously, no one is really taking this serious. I dont even think Ashley thinks that I am. There's no doubt in my mind that I want to be with her more than anything, but i know that to be together and be happy we both need to take this serious. It may be for good, so what good would i be doing to myself if i didnt take this serious. I'm trying to get over her. But, as you can imagine... it's not easy. And here I am talking like its been months when its been two days. My theory... if in a a few months, i still say this... then we will be together again. Until then, I'm going to live my life the best I can with this hugh gaping hole in my heart. I just talked to her. She said she wants to see me tonight, so im gonna come up to her job. I want to hung her, to feel her in my arms again, but im scared that if i do 1. She'll think im trying to her back or 2. That I wont let go.

Well, I'm going to go take a shower...Get the Arby's stench off me. Then im going shopping with Kara... and go see my babygirl. Later