(no subject)
i hate not being myself. i think my personality is one of the best things about myself. and i hate feel restricted or confined. i hate acting for people. i hate that i thought it was a good idea to go to a place not knowing anyone and to meet all new people. i hate that i have to be far away from the people i care the most about. i hate being sick all the time. i hate how the city smells, and i feel like i cant even take deep breaths anymore from all the smog and cigarette smoke around me all the time. i hate how the most words between me and my roommate are hi. bye. god bless you. i hate that i didnt give her a chance. i hate that marie has to be so opiniated of me...like who the hell do u think u are to just decide for no reason at all that u hate me. and then go tell all of our friends about it. and even though they say it wont change their opinion of me im afraid it will. i hate how i have to prove my feelings. i hate how i cant please my friends and my boyfriend. i hate when i have to choose between the two. i hate that there arent enough parties to go to. i hate the fact that if i feel like i would be letting people down if i gave up and decided to transfer schools. i hate not knowing if i made the right decision. i hate how money has to always be an issue for things. i hate crying and being overemotional all the time. i hate that i hate all these things when i have a boyfriend who loves me and friends that love me and a family that loves me. and most importantly i hate that i made the decision to not be near any of them.