FML and Also Gam Zu LeTova
There are three Orthodox schools here. One is far, far, far right of center. The girls get married before high school has ended and the school publishes its own text books so that no one should ever read about divorced parents or boyfriends. That school was out of the question for us.
Then there is the school that is just plain old right of center. It is kind of like a Beis Yaakov. They use regular text books but are known to white out paragraphs or tear out pages, so children don't read about divorced parents or romantic cartoon characters or dinosaurs, chas veshalom. Finally, there is the Modern Orthodox school, which is small but growing.
The first time around we sent our children to the right of center school and experienced some difficulties. I wrote about them in this blog here and here and here.
This time around I wanted to try the Modern Orthodox school. We talked a lot about it and I pretty much convinced my husband that modern orthodoxy is a good option and we should give it a shot.
Sadly, the school did not give us a shot. Even though this modern orthodox school is clearly small and trying to increase its student body, my children were summarily rejected this past week from the MO school. Did I mention that they are all straight A students? And that one of them skipped a grade? When I asked for reasons, I was given some vague explanations about time and how maybe we should try applying earlier next year. Also something about hashkafa differences and my childrens' friends. Because of the July bar, I flitted in and out of the admissions process and left most of the heavy labor to my husband, who went to all the interviews and spoke with all the rabbis. He got the strong vibe that the school was concerned about religious differences, about whether medrash is taught allegorically or literally, about cholov yisroel and pas yisroel, etc. I guess we came across as a chareidi family and not a modern orthodox one.
So I'm pretty upset for so many reasons, it's hard to know where to start. Obviously, now the kids are going to have to go to the old school and I am going to have to put up with all that censorship and religious dogma and rigid thinking all over again. The secular education will not be comparable. More upsetting is that apparently the more modern school here has just as much difficulty being pluralistic as the more traditional schools. I need my kids to know some version of "Tatty wears a long beard and eats cholov yisroel and that's all right and Mommy wears pants and eats cholov stam and that's all right too." Apparently, each school in my town can only teach one part of that equation, no one can teach both. If I send them to the modern orthodox school, my husband is the crazy one and if they go to the more beis yaaakov-type school, I will be the outcast parent. What am I supposed to do? Why can't everyone just get along ? Why can't my kids get a solid education without all the crap in a place that respects other versions of observance? How are my kids supposed to get a good English education with only 2-3 hours a day, with short Fridays half the year?
Also I am annoyed with myself for being upset in the first place. How elitist is this whole post? Considering the range of real problems, this isn't even a blip on the radar screen. Boo-hoo, my kids didn't get into the school I wanted. Tragedy of tragedies. What next? Maybe my housekeeper, nanny and maid will all want the same holiday off.