(no subject)
In case you haven't heard, Eli Federman is the new disgrace of Lubavitch. Yes he is.
He is a horrible, evil moser who is also a selfish, attention-seeking, destructive self-hating Jew. He should leave Crown Heights and move far away and take his horrible modern and immodest family with him. He should do teshuva and beg forgiveness from the Rebbe and the good people of Crown Heights. Repent, Ye Sinners, Repent!
What did Eli Federman do, you ask? Perhaps he robbed a bank? Had a little money laundering scheme on the side? Employed undocumented workers? Used child laborers? Attempted to bribe a federal agent? Swindled good families out of their homes? Engage in pedophilia? Beat his wife? Authored an apikorsishe blog?
Mmm, no. Much worse. He advocated for women to be able to vote in the Crown Heights Jewish Community Council elections. And he spoke to the New York Times about his concerns. And now he needs to hang his head in shame and hide out for a while because OY, what will become of us if women vote? The world as we know will come to an end. Soon those pesky women will want more. Maybe they'll even want to eat gebrokts on Pesach or something equally as horrible. And also OY, because now the New York Times knows that Crown Heights is crazy, whereas in the past they only mildly suspected it.