Looking for a New Cleaning Lady
In this here article, some dude named Bentzion Elisha from Crown Heights tells us his very sad and woeful tale of how the Evil Spanish-Speaking Cleaning Lady robbed his family of their precious jewelry. Their items were returned to them, but it was still quite traumatic for the poor dears.
After the heart-wrenching story, Bentzion asks his readers to be careful and urges you to "ask yourself, are these cleaners morals just like yours?"
That's a great question, Bentzion. Are the Spanish-speaking cleaning lady's morals just like those of my community?
Well, let's take a look. Has the cleaning lady defrauded the federal government lately? Been indicted for money- laundering and Ponzi schemes? Has she perpetrated real estate scams? Attempted to bribe federal agents? Was she pimping out women in return for conversions? Was my cleaning lady protecting child molesters for the last twenty years? Does she start riots and torch garbage bins to protest autopsies? Does my cleaning lady throw bleach on people whom she considers to be dressed inappropriately? Does she involve the police in her fights during Sunday church services? Does she demand women sit in the back of the bus and walk behind men?
You are right, Bentzion. I don't think my cleaning lady has the same morals as my community does. Perhaps I should get a Jewish frum cleaning lady.
Or... here's an idea, Bentzion. It might be kind of radical. You and I could always get up off our collective asses and clean our crap ourselves. We could pretend we are self-sufficient and don't need a cleaning lady because we are big boys and girls now and can clean up our own messes. Okay, okay, it was just a joke. I was just kidding, Bentzion. Hey, hey, Bentzion, don't turn purple like that! Come on, breathe, now breathe. In and out, in and out. There you go. You'll be okay.
Enjoy this lovely clip!