[YNB fic]
Title: Of love and breakheart
Pairing: Natsume/Bemu
Rating: G
Genre/Warnings: Angst. There are no spoilers, but this is an AU set in the future, so it obviously doesn't take into account what might happen in the drama.
Summary: Bemu finally turns human, but things don't go exactly as expected.
Notes: I wrote this on tumblr thanks to maayacola saying how sad it was that Natsume and Bemu's relationship could only end in angst, and about Bemu learning both the meaning of love and the meaning of heartbreak. It was too tempting not to write it. Beta-ed by a very heartbroken pinkeuphoria1. I swear Natsume/Bemu is stronger than me. The look of adoration in Bemu's face when he looks at Natsume slays me.
Bemu runs his fingers over his shoulders and down his arms, slowly. It’s only been a couple of days since they changed, and he’s not yet used to the soft feel of terse skin where he had always touched scales before. His fingers slide easily where they used to catch on rough edges and ridges, and a smile draws itself on Bemu’s lips, almost unconsciously.
“That’s great news, right? Bemu-san is finally human. Bera-san and Bero-kun too, your hard work has finally paid off. That’s great, isn’t it? Haha. We should have dinner together to celebrate, all of us. Maybe we can call the professor, wouldn’t that be good? A dinner to celebrate that now you’re human…”
Natsume is nervous like only he can be, feelings flashing freely on a face that’s too open for his own good, too open for his job and the kind of life he leads, words coming out like an after-thought. It makes Bemu smile, when Natsume laughs too high and shrill to be natural, and he feels his chest clenching painfully, only not really, because this is a pain Bemu wouldn’t mind having to suffer for the rest of his life - his human life now, his life that now has an ending, a limited time, and it only makes Natsume’s laugh more precious.
Natsume’s smile turns a little more panicked when Bemu takes a step closer, still topless - he had been so eager to show the man his now smooth arms, the fine line of thin hair that had started growing down his navel, his human body. Bemu frowns, confused. He doesn’t understand. Natsume never minded the closeness before, the casual touches and the brush of hand when sharing an umbrella, not quite as accidental as they pretended it to be.
“I… Bemu-san, I can’t… I…”
“But why… Before…” Bemu feels his heart constricting painfully, and guilt flashes through Natsume’s eyes.
“I… It was different before, it couldn’t be… You… you were not human, there was no way… It couldn’t happen and I thought it’d be okay but I… Bemu-san, I love my wife. My daughter. I can’t do that to Nao and Yui. After what happened with Makoto I… Bemu-san, I’m sorry. I never thought it’d turn out like this, I thought, I… I can’t leave my family. I’m sorry.”
Bemu’s hesitant smile falters on his lips; freezes, writhers and disappears. He wonders if the look on his face shows as much pain as Natsume’s, if his eyes show the same kind of desperation. He takes a step back, two; takes his coat from the couch where he left it before and drapes it around his shoulders. Natsume is saying something, rushed and nervous and with a hint of panic in his voice, but Bemu can’t listen. His nails leave red moons in the palms of his hands when he clenches his fists, and this time the wounds stay there, painfully human.
Bemu wishes he was still a demon now, he wishes the force of the feelings inside him right now could make him change, if only to be able to howl his pain for the world to hear. To have a reason to run away and hide, because he can’t take Natsume’s guilty eyes anymore. Bemu bows before the man, voice calm and in control after decades of self-restraint.
“Thank you for your kindness all this time. We’re humans thanks to you and your family. We’ll never forget you.”
He puts his hat back on his head, even though there’re no horns to hide anymore. Just tears that he can’t conceal, and Bemu wonders why Natsume is the only human who is able to make him cry, why it has to be Natsume that teaches him how to cry from kindness and love, and how to cry because of heartbreak as well. Why it has to be Natsume that teaches him what being human really means.
Natsume is still calling his name when Bemu turns around and leaves.
Pairing: Natsume/Bemu
Rating: G
Genre/Warnings: Angst. There are no spoilers, but this is an AU set in the future, so it obviously doesn't take into account what might happen in the drama.
Summary: Bemu finally turns human, but things don't go exactly as expected.
Notes: I wrote this on tumblr thanks to maayacola saying how sad it was that Natsume and Bemu's relationship could only end in angst, and about Bemu learning both the meaning of love and the meaning of heartbreak. It was too tempting not to write it. Beta-ed by a very heartbroken pinkeuphoria1. I swear Natsume/Bemu is stronger than me. The look of adoration in Bemu's face when he looks at Natsume slays me.
Bemu runs his fingers over his shoulders and down his arms, slowly. It’s only been a couple of days since they changed, and he’s not yet used to the soft feel of terse skin where he had always touched scales before. His fingers slide easily where they used to catch on rough edges and ridges, and a smile draws itself on Bemu’s lips, almost unconsciously.
“That’s great news, right? Bemu-san is finally human. Bera-san and Bero-kun too, your hard work has finally paid off. That’s great, isn’t it? Haha. We should have dinner together to celebrate, all of us. Maybe we can call the professor, wouldn’t that be good? A dinner to celebrate that now you’re human…”
Natsume is nervous like only he can be, feelings flashing freely on a face that’s too open for his own good, too open for his job and the kind of life he leads, words coming out like an after-thought. It makes Bemu smile, when Natsume laughs too high and shrill to be natural, and he feels his chest clenching painfully, only not really, because this is a pain Bemu wouldn’t mind having to suffer for the rest of his life - his human life now, his life that now has an ending, a limited time, and it only makes Natsume’s laugh more precious.
Natsume’s smile turns a little more panicked when Bemu takes a step closer, still topless - he had been so eager to show the man his now smooth arms, the fine line of thin hair that had started growing down his navel, his human body. Bemu frowns, confused. He doesn’t understand. Natsume never minded the closeness before, the casual touches and the brush of hand when sharing an umbrella, not quite as accidental as they pretended it to be.
“I… Bemu-san, I can’t… I…”
“But why… Before…” Bemu feels his heart constricting painfully, and guilt flashes through Natsume’s eyes.
“I… It was different before, it couldn’t be… You… you were not human, there was no way… It couldn’t happen and I thought it’d be okay but I… Bemu-san, I love my wife. My daughter. I can’t do that to Nao and Yui. After what happened with Makoto I… Bemu-san, I’m sorry. I never thought it’d turn out like this, I thought, I… I can’t leave my family. I’m sorry.”
Bemu’s hesitant smile falters on his lips; freezes, writhers and disappears. He wonders if the look on his face shows as much pain as Natsume’s, if his eyes show the same kind of desperation. He takes a step back, two; takes his coat from the couch where he left it before and drapes it around his shoulders. Natsume is saying something, rushed and nervous and with a hint of panic in his voice, but Bemu can’t listen. His nails leave red moons in the palms of his hands when he clenches his fists, and this time the wounds stay there, painfully human.
Bemu wishes he was still a demon now, he wishes the force of the feelings inside him right now could make him change, if only to be able to howl his pain for the world to hear. To have a reason to run away and hide, because he can’t take Natsume’s guilty eyes anymore. Bemu bows before the man, voice calm and in control after decades of self-restraint.
“Thank you for your kindness all this time. We’re humans thanks to you and your family. We’ll never forget you.”
He puts his hat back on his head, even though there’re no horns to hide anymore. Just tears that he can’t conceal, and Bemu wonders why Natsume is the only human who is able to make him cry, why it has to be Natsume that teaches him how to cry from kindness and love, and how to cry because of heartbreak as well. Why it has to be Natsume that teaches him what being human really means.
Natsume is still calling his name when Bemu turns around and leaves.