I'm going to be vauge, but whatever.
The weird thing about this whole mess is that I'm not even really that pissed, I'm mostly just pissed to keep up appearances.
But that's the last time that I think something's going to work out. It really sucks too, because I had just gotten used to and comfortable with being myself. I thought it was lovely, and that was the happiest I'd ever been.
Being overly emotionally invested in anyone? No thank you. Not anymore. Not until someone proves me wrong and does it with wholehearted abandon. Until then, I'm bitter, I'm jaded, I'm back to the person that doesn't let anything touch them, that doesn't confide in anyone, that doesn't share anything. My mind is my space, and fuck you if you try to intrude. You're not worth my time anymore.
These next couple weeks are going to be about reinventing my role (yet again) and throwing my life whole heartedly into bassoon and grad school research and being the best teacher that I can be. Nothing else matters. Nothing else probably ever will matter.
Temporary setback. For some reason (and this is strange to me, I'm not sure where this is coming from) but i feel like this is just another obstacle, another test.
I still want to break stuff and punch people in the nose though. Forcefully.
Until then, I'm content to be by myself and wait. However long it takes.
But that's the last time that I think something's going to work out. It really sucks too, because I had just gotten used to and comfortable with being myself. I thought it was lovely, and that was the happiest I'd ever been.
Being overly emotionally invested in anyone? No thank you. Not anymore. Not until someone proves me wrong and does it with wholehearted abandon. Until then, I'm bitter, I'm jaded, I'm back to the person that doesn't let anything touch them, that doesn't confide in anyone, that doesn't share anything. My mind is my space, and fuck you if you try to intrude. You're not worth my time anymore.
These next couple weeks are going to be about reinventing my role (yet again) and throwing my life whole heartedly into bassoon and grad school research and being the best teacher that I can be. Nothing else matters. Nothing else probably ever will matter.
Temporary setback. For some reason (and this is strange to me, I'm not sure where this is coming from) but i feel like this is just another obstacle, another test.
I still want to break stuff and punch people in the nose though. Forcefully.
Until then, I'm content to be by myself and wait. However long it takes.