A..better...place...
It is mornings like Tuesday and nights like last that Atheism is the way to go. I feel my "Faith" is being tested. I do not wish to speak ill of the dead, nor do I want this to come out this way. My pragmatic, logical mind realizes the various stages of grief and such. Anger. Everybody needs someone to blame. Logically, I cannot blame the deceased. Do I place my blame, then, in a faceless and unknown god? No, that is illogical. That is an easy thing to do and more importantly, it is blasphemous. I am angry. But at whom?
In the end, I need to realize that death is a part of life. All things living must die. Not being morbid, just logical. I miss them, though. Until the day I die, I'll never forget the smile Dirk had on his face everytime he greeted me. I'll never forget the discussions that Martin and I had about politics (for even though Martin and I were on opposite sides of the political spectrum, we both realized we were friends first...politics NEVER came between that friendship).
I need to sleep now. I need to let my anger go. I need to move on to the next step in grief...it's just never that easy.
In the end, I need to realize that death is a part of life. All things living must die. Not being morbid, just logical. I miss them, though. Until the day I die, I'll never forget the smile Dirk had on his face everytime he greeted me. I'll never forget the discussions that Martin and I had about politics (for even though Martin and I were on opposite sides of the political spectrum, we both realized we were friends first...politics NEVER came between that friendship).
I need to sleep now. I need to let my anger go. I need to move on to the next step in grief...it's just never that easy.