My dear friend, I feel so honoured to be able to read this, but am so very sorry about the occasion. I have been thinking of you and Rossini continuously over the last days, and a lot of memories have come back, from when my soulmate cat, Cios, died. She was everything for me.. we had shared so many different moments of our lives, I had brought her into the world.. and was not able to be with her in her last moments. I still cry, often, when I think of her.. and I will never, ever forget what she was for me. So I can, and will, not tell you that the pain will go away. Because that pain is so linked with the loving memory, that in sensitive people like we are, it lasts as long as the memory..forever. But as time passes, it becomes less numbing, it becomes bittersweet, still piercing sometime, but more a reminder to love fiercely while we can, because every living thing is not on this earth forever.
I can only tell you, from my own experience, that the greatest gift you can give to Rossini, and his memory, is to allow one or more cats to enter your heart as soon as possible. I did not believe this when Cios was sick, neither when she just died. And the emotions I felt when bringing home my own Rossini, and a few months later, Blanche, were very different from those I had for Cios. But, we are able to love so much, and in so many ways, and I am so very grateful that I was able to experience this immediately after Cios's dead, when I thought that everything was empty and useless, and I was seeing and feeling her around me, everywhere and every time.
Rossini is not Cios, and Blanche is neither of the two. They all have completely different characters, and I love them all, they occupy different corners of my heart, and that heart has so many corners. There are others still waiting, empty, I know that now, and I think of it every time I am seeing my two dearest furfaces getting older and less healthy.
Cios's death had moved me in a different way than that of several humans in my life who were very close to me. Somehow I was able to feel the pain in a much fiercer way, but after the first, horrible period, I was also able to feel something in myself, which is difficult to describe.. partly it was the relief of actually having survived this worst case I had ever dreaded, partly the immense love which still remained in me and the certainty that Cios's essence would be forever with me, and around me (which is true still after more than 13 years).
So, no, don't throw or put away any of Rossini's toys, dishes or anything. He will love to share them, as he will love to share your love with those who will use them, as this sharing is not something which diminishes the love, but actually multiplies it a hundred times.
You will know the right cat, or better even, the right cats. Rossini will let you know. But as much as it might hurt, start spreading the word right now. Ask around, if there is somebody with kittens. Go see a shelter. Look at shelter homepages. You will cry, and feel terrible. But that is part of the process too.. keeping the path open. Waiting sometimes hardens the heart, and closes the feelers Rossini still has into it.
I can only recommend two cats, possibly younger than a year. Their energy and playfulness is something so totally different from what we remember with our older, more settled, companion who has left, that they search their own corner of the heart immediately on their own, and do not touch those places which hurt so much. They also destroy half of the house in the process, but that is a small risk compared to the benefits :D
My heart is with you, most of all, because Rossini was and is part of you, but also with your wife, because she loved you both and seeing you in so much pain is adding to her own loss. I am thinking of you both and sending you my loving thoughts.
I forgot: I can only recommend to hold a memorial service for him. On your own, or together with others, do what you feel best. But it really helps to let go, to let him travel where he has to. <3
I can only tell you, from my own experience, that the greatest gift you can give to Rossini, and his memory, is to allow one or more cats to enter your heart as soon as possible. I did not believe this when Cios was sick, neither when she just died. And the emotions I felt when bringing home my own Rossini, and a few months later, Blanche, were very different from those I had for Cios. But, we are able to love so much, and in so many ways, and I am so very grateful that I was able to experience this immediately after Cios's dead, when I thought that everything was empty and useless, and I was seeing and feeling her around me, everywhere and every time.
Rossini is not Cios, and Blanche is neither of the two. They all have completely different characters, and I love them all, they occupy different corners of my heart, and that heart has so many corners. There are others still waiting, empty, I know that now, and I think of it every time I am seeing my two dearest furfaces getting older and less healthy.
Cios's death had moved me in a different way than that of several humans in my life who were very close to me. Somehow I was able to feel the pain in a much fiercer way, but after the first, horrible period, I was also able to feel something in myself, which is difficult to describe.. partly it was the relief of actually having survived this worst case I had ever dreaded, partly the immense love which still remained in me and the certainty that Cios's essence would be forever with me, and around me (which is true still after more than 13 years).
So, no, don't throw or put away any of Rossini's toys, dishes or anything. He will love to share them, as he will love to share your love with those who will use them, as this sharing is not something which diminishes the love, but actually multiplies it a hundred times.
You will know the right cat, or better even, the right cats. Rossini will let you know. But as much as it might hurt, start spreading the word right now. Ask around, if there is somebody with kittens. Go see a shelter. Look at shelter homepages. You will cry, and feel terrible. But that is part of the process too.. keeping the path open. Waiting sometimes hardens the heart, and closes the feelers Rossini still has into it.
I can only recommend two cats, possibly younger than a year. Their energy and playfulness is something so totally different from what we remember with our older, more settled, companion who has left, that they search their own corner of the heart immediately on their own, and do not touch those places which hurt so much. They also destroy half of the house in the process, but that is a small risk compared to the benefits :D
My heart is with you, most of all, because Rossini was and is part of you, but also with your wife, because she loved you both and seeing you in so much pain is adding to her own loss. I am thinking of you both and sending you my loving thoughts.
Back then, I had written a tribute to Cios, if you want to read it, it is here: http://www.forumvirtuale.it/dag/Cios.html .
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