(no subject)
What's happened to my first love that he should say such vulgar, cruel, insensitive and hateful things to me? I'm so ashamed to have ever loved him, and i know the only reason he is phone-stalking me now is to bother me. Such cruelty. Even though he knows i don't pick up, he also knows that what he says in voicemails breaks my heart over and over. 9 times on thanksgiving. nine episodes of 'you're such a freak, i wanna tie you to my chair and fuck you for hours' Nine almost-cryings but still holding on. And now i know even changing my number won't let me escape. The evil that is the boy who took me forcefully is covering everyone in my past in a thick dark smoke. How can i get away... I hope so much that he finds a new hobby soon. And he knows exactly how it makes me feel. I haven't listened to the last 2 i got, just yesterday. I don't need to, i know what they say, and i'm done hearing it. And the evil-smoke boy calls me even more, a sound of glee on his voice the one time i accidentially picked up by accident. I'd thought it was my dad. "daddy?" i said tentatively. "oh katherine....!" was his silky response. I hate him, but at least, in his case, i never loved him. But my first love who i trusted, He's nothing to me anymore. Now i don't even think he would be dissuaded if he know what his new best-buddy had done to the girl he once loved. He might even... laugh. And to think, i was so worried and passionatley protective of him during his first drunken phone call. I can really be dumb sometimes. But i've got to let him go if he wants to go. The ass.