This thing still exists?
Holy hell. I haven't posted on this since 2006. It's now 2014. I am desperate for someplace to vent today, and for whatever reason I remembered this. And it still exists. I'm not really sure what I'm doing right now. I'm not sure if I should make this public, or private. All my posts in high school were private, but right now I feel like I need to reach out to the world instead of keeping all my ramblings to myself.
So much has changed since my last post. For one I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It has made a lot of my life, even in retrospect, or perhaps particularly in retrospect, make much more sense. I'm struggling with it today though. I have spent my entire day sitting on my couch, doing seriously nothing. I don't know where the past 12 hours have gone, but they went somewhere and I didn't live in them. I've just existed. I can't focus on anything today. I can't get myself to care. I have a presentation that needs to be done by tomorrow and I have barely touched it. As in I opened the powerpoint and started one slide. That's it. I had the TV on in the background for a while, but I couldn't even focus on that and found myself not watching it but instead surfing the internet, jumping from one page to the next and most of the time with 3 tabs open because I couldn't wait for the others to load.
I think I might make this my place for BPD updates. I don't know if it will be helpful for me, or for anyone else, but maybe. It's worth a shot, right?
Anyway, I've already run out of ability to pay attention to writing this, so let's call it quits for the moment.
So much has changed since my last post. For one I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It has made a lot of my life, even in retrospect, or perhaps particularly in retrospect, make much more sense. I'm struggling with it today though. I have spent my entire day sitting on my couch, doing seriously nothing. I don't know where the past 12 hours have gone, but they went somewhere and I didn't live in them. I've just existed. I can't focus on anything today. I can't get myself to care. I have a presentation that needs to be done by tomorrow and I have barely touched it. As in I opened the powerpoint and started one slide. That's it. I had the TV on in the background for a while, but I couldn't even focus on that and found myself not watching it but instead surfing the internet, jumping from one page to the next and most of the time with 3 tabs open because I couldn't wait for the others to load.
I think I might make this my place for BPD updates. I don't know if it will be helpful for me, or for anyone else, but maybe. It's worth a shot, right?
Anyway, I've already run out of ability to pay attention to writing this, so let's call it quits for the moment.