started as a fitzgerald imitation...

[onewingbroken]

There was music that drifted through the darkness like faint and delicate tendrils of silver smoke. My hands fluttered at my sides like startled doves and my skirt began to tremble. Near incapacitated by myself I followed as strong slender shadows flitted from circle to circle. Quiet envy. Flashing smiles quicker than summer lightning. Collecting naive souls with dusky eyes and sweet confections of hollow words. Their victims were then led into the maw of the swirling undulating press of wild bodies. In between the blinking whiteness and the movement and the lights that fell like liquid color I saw you standing, jagged and alone leaning your thoughts against the wall.. (cont)

the "Near incapacitated" is intentional. i thought it sounded better.

comments? critiques? anything? help.