196: One Wish
I don't make wishes. I don't... desire things. Not like that, not anymore.
Ask me this twenty years ago, you would have gotten something along the lines of... humanity removed from the universe, maybe. Out of the way, out of the picture, so Dad wouldn't dote on the youngest kids but remember those of us who'd served Him first. Or more narrowly I might have just wished for my war to be won, for triumph over mine enemies, because I saw things in those terms, I thought about what I wanted and how I would change the world and make it good. For my value of good.
Done with that. Got tiring, thinking just about how much of the universe I took up.
Ask me this ten years gone, my scale was considerably narrowed: I would have wished for a hot meal, roof over my head... new socks! How the mighty fall. Yeah.
Those needs don't matter anymore. I don't... need anything, anything at all. And I don't need to be imposing my opinion on any piece of this strange beautiful universe, even the parts I see that are still wrong, sad and messed-up and broken. I look, I see them, but the thing, the thing that I'm learning, is that--
Someone's building a house, okay? An architect is building a house, working away to a plan. And houses got to go up in a certain way, you have to lay the wiring and the pipes and all this other stuff. And this person who's gonna live in the house, doesn't know drywall from plywood, comes to the site and says, man, this place looks like shit, all these exposed beams and insulation everywhere-- and he takes it on himself to fix it, grabs a hammer and nails and a paint can and just starts doing what he wants.
Of course he makes a mess of it. Doesn't know, doesn't understand, the order these things must go in, the way each event shapes others and that foundations must be laid before things of eternal value can be built atop them.
I am not so quick to pick up the hammer and nails, these days. I'd rather... talk to the Architect, take the chance to learn and ask Him why and wherefore. It is not enough to want to change things. You have to understand why they're where they are first. What they're building towards...
______
gabriel * the prophecy series (movie) * word count: 404
Ask me this twenty years ago, you would have gotten something along the lines of... humanity removed from the universe, maybe. Out of the way, out of the picture, so Dad wouldn't dote on the youngest kids but remember those of us who'd served Him first. Or more narrowly I might have just wished for my war to be won, for triumph over mine enemies, because I saw things in those terms, I thought about what I wanted and how I would change the world and make it good. For my value of good.
Done with that. Got tiring, thinking just about how much of the universe I took up.
Ask me this ten years gone, my scale was considerably narrowed: I would have wished for a hot meal, roof over my head... new socks! How the mighty fall. Yeah.
Those needs don't matter anymore. I don't... need anything, anything at all. And I don't need to be imposing my opinion on any piece of this strange beautiful universe, even the parts I see that are still wrong, sad and messed-up and broken. I look, I see them, but the thing, the thing that I'm learning, is that--
Someone's building a house, okay? An architect is building a house, working away to a plan. And houses got to go up in a certain way, you have to lay the wiring and the pipes and all this other stuff. And this person who's gonna live in the house, doesn't know drywall from plywood, comes to the site and says, man, this place looks like shit, all these exposed beams and insulation everywhere-- and he takes it on himself to fix it, grabs a hammer and nails and a paint can and just starts doing what he wants.
Of course he makes a mess of it. Doesn't know, doesn't understand, the order these things must go in, the way each event shapes others and that foundations must be laid before things of eternal value can be built atop them.
I am not so quick to pick up the hammer and nails, these days. I'd rather... talk to the Architect, take the chance to learn and ask Him why and wherefore. It is not enough to want to change things. You have to understand why they're where they are first. What they're building towards...
______
gabriel * the prophecy series (movie) * word count: 404