no this isn't my life, it's a puzzle, damnit. YES it's a real puzzle. *crosses fingers*
so i went through my old posts today. it was a much needed trip down memory lane. i notice how much i've changed and how much i've improved as a human being. i found a couple of lists of things i wanted to accomplish and i thought i should go through them and see what i have improved upon, and what i still need to improve on. so here we go, friends:
this list is from my first semester in college, fall 2004. just for a time table for all you.
-be more mature (i've gotten more mature, just not more childless)
-lose weight (thank you marines, i've lost a good deal, and am still toning and losing)
-get really good grades in my classes (i worked hard and got somewhere with it while i was in school)
-get a good car (um. working on that)
-expose my emotional layer (i did well for a while, then i had to learn how to be emotionally wise, so i worked on that, and now i think i'm pretty good at this)
-maybe try theater (everyone has goals. this is still one of mine)
-donate my hair to locks of love (i've accomplished this one)
-influence someone (that's for you all to decide)
-leave my mark (in a good way) (hm? decide all you others)
-do something great, no, make that do something incredible (also for you all to decide)
-i want to know, just know. (thank you, elizabeth, you just know)
-be happy, with no regrets (i have definitely accomplished this one. i regret nothing. everything i have ever done wrong has taught me an important lesson)
-drink more milk (i ended up becoming lactose intolerant ;-;)
-have someone look up to me (i'm not sure if anyone has ever really looked up to me because of something...)
-pass on a smile (i love doing this. i try to do it everyday)
-teach someone to love (i have been told that i've done this more than once)
-teach myself to love unconditionally (i have learned, oh man have i learned)
-get sick and then get better, because i want to be strong (food poisening anyone?)
-have fun with life, but be responsible (i'm still working towards this one, but i become more responsible every day)
-not care for once, be totally relaxed and not care, for about 5 seconds (i think i accomplish this one on a more regular basis now-a-days)
-tell a story, my story. (i got a lot better with this one once i started going to therapy)
this is a birthday list, to better myself when i turned 19...i think. maybe 20 or 21
-instead of working towards people i need to work with people. (i am working with this every day.)
-i need to realize my educational goals and persue them. (i realize them, i just need the money to go pursue to my hearts content, hooray GIbill)
-i need to listen to people when they know better than me on the situation. (i only have a problem with unwarranted authority)
-buy more flowers. (i do, i will, i do)
-realize who all the real friends are and keep them close. (i've done a really good job of keeping in contact with the people who are amazing, and all my friends back home. i'm proud of myself for doing this one)
-realize who my enemies are and keep them at a comfortable distance. (dito)
-decipher more secret codes. (do crosswords count? i go geocaching, and i have to do this for some of the mystery caches sometimes)
-go out of town with friends more often. (here, the next town over is so close that i go out of town every day. but i know what i want out of this, and when we have the money we go for it.)
-visit my gramma and grampa more often. (working on it. i misses them.)
-see my family every chance i get. (i did when i was in wisconsin. but now that i am in cali, well i suppose i'm still going every chance i get.)
-put another 100% into the work i'm already contributing 100% to. (marines here i come.)
-be a better driver ... biker (hahahahHAHAHAH so this one time i almost rode my bicycle off a cliff. and this other time i almost died in an accident. hah. i mean... i'm working on being a little less reckless.)
-spend more time outside. (i'm living in freaking california, of course i'm spending a lot of time outside.)
-go horseback riding more often. (mmm. i want.)
-spend time on my farm, as much as i can. (as much as i can)
-take a bunch of friends camping with me. (does camp count? does sleeping outside in a cardboard box with a bunch of people on my school grounds count?)
-go fishing when the mood calls (i do. whenever i have the means, and the poles.)
-take hapkido again, and stick with it longer than one semester. (does close combat training during boot camp count for close enough? i'll be a tan belt when i graduate boot.)
-learn more spanish---i know more than i lead myself to believe. (it'll help, living in SD)
-read the news everyday and stay up on current events (hah. maybe once i join)
-think differently about my actions. (i do that regularily, it took a lot of personal work, but i have made many improvements in my "think before you act" thing)
-do things that make my stomach sink. (im an adrenaline junkie. i mean, rifle training, jump school... yeah)
and since i'm in a writing mood, these are a few of the awesome titles i've had on my ljs. the posts were not as exciting, but the titles made me want to read them. ah creativity. :)
*sometimes it seems as though my life has been dropped in a fishbowl*
*i'm living in a crystal ball, do you look at me through the glass?*
"you say JUMP and i ask, ...off which mountain, my dear?*
*i jumped off my cloud to see where you'd gone, and found you were sleeping with the sea*
*when you're falling and don't know which way is up, you just need to realize you're already gone*
*have you ever felt like you're walking the wrong direction on a moving sidewalk?*
*conference calls and motorola chargers*
*hammers and phones*
*anniversaries and ten hour shifts*
*coworkers and swiss cheese*
*inventory and tuxedos*
all is well here at the house of gay. we are getting ready to move soon. i'm excited. we'll be a lot closer to a bunch of our friends. and work for the two working units living in the house. i am still job searching. it will come, hello bars...hahaha. id be excellent. i hope this was enlightening for you. love to you all.
ps, sadie and heidi, i'm glad you guys had a good new years, uneventful or not, i love you both. and i miss you. ps. sadie... call me.
this list is from my first semester in college, fall 2004. just for a time table for all you.
-be more mature (i've gotten more mature, just not more childless)
-lose weight (thank you marines, i've lost a good deal, and am still toning and losing)
-get really good grades in my classes (i worked hard and got somewhere with it while i was in school)
-get a good car (um. working on that)
-expose my emotional layer (i did well for a while, then i had to learn how to be emotionally wise, so i worked on that, and now i think i'm pretty good at this)
-maybe try theater (everyone has goals. this is still one of mine)
-donate my hair to locks of love (i've accomplished this one)
-influence someone (that's for you all to decide)
-leave my mark (in a good way) (hm? decide all you others)
-do something great, no, make that do something incredible (also for you all to decide)
-i want to know, just know. (thank you, elizabeth, you just know)
-be happy, with no regrets (i have definitely accomplished this one. i regret nothing. everything i have ever done wrong has taught me an important lesson)
-drink more milk (i ended up becoming lactose intolerant ;-;)
-have someone look up to me (i'm not sure if anyone has ever really looked up to me because of something...)
-pass on a smile (i love doing this. i try to do it everyday)
-teach someone to love (i have been told that i've done this more than once)
-teach myself to love unconditionally (i have learned, oh man have i learned)
-get sick and then get better, because i want to be strong (food poisening anyone?)
-have fun with life, but be responsible (i'm still working towards this one, but i become more responsible every day)
-not care for once, be totally relaxed and not care, for about 5 seconds (i think i accomplish this one on a more regular basis now-a-days)
-tell a story, my story. (i got a lot better with this one once i started going to therapy)
this is a birthday list, to better myself when i turned 19...i think. maybe 20 or 21
-instead of working towards people i need to work with people. (i am working with this every day.)
-i need to realize my educational goals and persue them. (i realize them, i just need the money to go pursue to my hearts content, hooray GIbill)
-i need to listen to people when they know better than me on the situation. (i only have a problem with unwarranted authority)
-buy more flowers. (i do, i will, i do)
-realize who all the real friends are and keep them close. (i've done a really good job of keeping in contact with the people who are amazing, and all my friends back home. i'm proud of myself for doing this one)
-realize who my enemies are and keep them at a comfortable distance. (dito)
-decipher more secret codes. (do crosswords count? i go geocaching, and i have to do this for some of the mystery caches sometimes)
-go out of town with friends more often. (here, the next town over is so close that i go out of town every day. but i know what i want out of this, and when we have the money we go for it.)
-visit my gramma and grampa more often. (working on it. i misses them.)
-see my family every chance i get. (i did when i was in wisconsin. but now that i am in cali, well i suppose i'm still going every chance i get.)
-put another 100% into the work i'm already contributing 100% to. (marines here i come.)
-be a better driver ... biker (hahahahHAHAHAH so this one time i almost rode my bicycle off a cliff. and this other time i almost died in an accident. hah. i mean... i'm working on being a little less reckless.)
-spend more time outside. (i'm living in freaking california, of course i'm spending a lot of time outside.)
-go horseback riding more often. (mmm. i want.)
-spend time on my farm, as much as i can. (as much as i can)
-take a bunch of friends camping with me. (does camp count? does sleeping outside in a cardboard box with a bunch of people on my school grounds count?)
-go fishing when the mood calls (i do. whenever i have the means, and the poles.)
-take hapkido again, and stick with it longer than one semester. (does close combat training during boot camp count for close enough? i'll be a tan belt when i graduate boot.)
-learn more spanish---i know more than i lead myself to believe. (it'll help, living in SD)
-read the news everyday and stay up on current events (hah. maybe once i join)
-think differently about my actions. (i do that regularily, it took a lot of personal work, but i have made many improvements in my "think before you act" thing)
-do things that make my stomach sink. (im an adrenaline junkie. i mean, rifle training, jump school... yeah)
and since i'm in a writing mood, these are a few of the awesome titles i've had on my ljs. the posts were not as exciting, but the titles made me want to read them. ah creativity. :)
*sometimes it seems as though my life has been dropped in a fishbowl*
*i'm living in a crystal ball, do you look at me through the glass?*
"you say JUMP and i ask, ...off which mountain, my dear?*
*i jumped off my cloud to see where you'd gone, and found you were sleeping with the sea*
*when you're falling and don't know which way is up, you just need to realize you're already gone*
*have you ever felt like you're walking the wrong direction on a moving sidewalk?*
*conference calls and motorola chargers*
*hammers and phones*
*anniversaries and ten hour shifts*
*coworkers and swiss cheese*
*inventory and tuxedos*
all is well here at the house of gay. we are getting ready to move soon. i'm excited. we'll be a lot closer to a bunch of our friends. and work for the two working units living in the house. i am still job searching. it will come, hello bars...hahaha. id be excellent. i hope this was enlightening for you. love to you all.
ps, sadie and heidi, i'm glad you guys had a good new years, uneventful or not, i love you both. and i miss you. ps. sadie... call me.