At the request....
At the request of a dear friend, I shall post. Yay. I've actually not posted, because life has just been too complicated lately and I don't want to wine about it on the internet. I actually wrote a private post, some of which I will share right now : haha, I just reread it and realized I can't share it because it has things about me...I can't share with people. THAT has been the story of my life here in Miami.
I also spent the whole day crying yesterday, because a series of events sparked how sometimes I feel like I should have just done what my family wanted me to do, become an RN. I'd already be working, and they'd actually be proud of me. I feel like I should have just sucked it all up, and not have been selfish and gone to Midd. This was sparked by the fact that the "administrative" position my mother supposedly got for me at her job and that I turned down a camp counselor position in Maine for, was actually non-existent. I wrote about this yesterday, and I think I can actually share:
I don’t understand my mother most of the time. Beverlyn just called, to tell me that my mom was looking for a job for me and that there weren’t any but that their receptionist, who was pregnant, just went into labor. So I can start as a receptionist as soon as I’m available. Administrative position my ass. What the hell. She never looks out as to what’s my best interest, she only cares about what will make her happy most of the time. How I can keep her company. It didn’t’ matter to her that as a camp counselor in Maine, I’d be outdoors, where I'm happy. It would also look better on a resume that I worked with children. That would have helped me so much for teach for America. How depressing. Must find a good side to this must find a good side to this….I’ll probably have the chance to read the whole time. However. I think up to now, there are only two shifts: one that would require me to be there at 7AM. And then there’s the night shift. I’m not sure when that starts, or more importantly, when that ends. -Sigh-
So lately, my life has been just this ongoing weird relationship with my mother, and a new quest to become independent yet try to retain a good relationship with her. It's been Tense...just tense.
I got my ears pierced a few days ago...and I don't believe she's noticed.
On a happier note, Si being here has been great. Rissa and I have taken him to the beach. I hope he's had a good time. Some pics! Woot.
He leaves tomorrow morning and the misery begins tomorrow afternoon.
I am glad, though, that I've been hanging out with Rissa and other high school friends that are NOT jerks...they still rock my socks.
Minutes after posting this, my family came over, and attacked me. My uncle preceding to tell me that whatever job I got in Maine, I hadn't seen the references of the person, and did I know how many times people fake job postings and stuff like that to rape and kidnap people, and did I hear the stories of these things happening in Nicaragua. After trying and failing to bring some sort of sense to that conversation explaining that this camp was firstly, a camp, and accredited institution, that I had spoken to people who work there etc. Then, I said "are you kidding me? You're being ridiculous. I can't listen to anymore nonsense..." and left.
wtf
I also spent the whole day crying yesterday, because a series of events sparked how sometimes I feel like I should have just done what my family wanted me to do, become an RN. I'd already be working, and they'd actually be proud of me. I feel like I should have just sucked it all up, and not have been selfish and gone to Midd. This was sparked by the fact that the "administrative" position my mother supposedly got for me at her job and that I turned down a camp counselor position in Maine for, was actually non-existent. I wrote about this yesterday, and I think I can actually share:
I don’t understand my mother most of the time. Beverlyn just called, to tell me that my mom was looking for a job for me and that there weren’t any but that their receptionist, who was pregnant, just went into labor. So I can start as a receptionist as soon as I’m available. Administrative position my ass. What the hell. She never looks out as to what’s my best interest, she only cares about what will make her happy most of the time. How I can keep her company. It didn’t’ matter to her that as a camp counselor in Maine, I’d be outdoors, where I'm happy. It would also look better on a resume that I worked with children. That would have helped me so much for teach for America. How depressing. Must find a good side to this must find a good side to this….I’ll probably have the chance to read the whole time. However. I think up to now, there are only two shifts: one that would require me to be there at 7AM. And then there’s the night shift. I’m not sure when that starts, or more importantly, when that ends. -Sigh-
So lately, my life has been just this ongoing weird relationship with my mother, and a new quest to become independent yet try to retain a good relationship with her. It's been Tense...just tense.
I got my ears pierced a few days ago...and I don't believe she's noticed.
On a happier note, Si being here has been great. Rissa and I have taken him to the beach. I hope he's had a good time. Some pics! Woot.
He leaves tomorrow morning and the misery begins tomorrow afternoon.
I am glad, though, that I've been hanging out with Rissa and other high school friends that are NOT jerks...they still rock my socks.
Minutes after posting this, my family came over, and attacked me. My uncle preceding to tell me that whatever job I got in Maine, I hadn't seen the references of the person, and did I know how many times people fake job postings and stuff like that to rape and kidnap people, and did I hear the stories of these things happening in Nicaragua. After trying and failing to bring some sort of sense to that conversation explaining that this camp was firstly, a camp, and accredited institution, that I had spoken to people who work there etc. Then, I said "are you kidding me? You're being ridiculous. I can't listen to anymore nonsense..." and left.
wtf