Jul 19, 2004 20:41
woo I started band camp today...not really that horrible yet i actually had fun,this year our drumline is huge...gonna be hard but i think we can do it...maybe....well besides that life is ..well..ok? me and my girlfriend of ...a long time(i don't know how to count it because ..you'll understand when you read what's next)well we're on a "break"....oh joy..truthfully it sucks!!!!! i hate it i want her back as my girlfriend ...but i'm most of the problem...some other things have been going on that she won't tell me about cut it's family oriented which i respect her decision to keep it to herself, but mostly she says she doesn't know why we're together anymore and that she's confused and that i'm not open and she just doesn't know me all that well.........i wanna try to be more open with her..but i'll have to stick like this until she just wants to be friends or if she wants to completely break up....i feel weird writing this on the internet but better cuz i think but ....the first night she talked about maybe taking a "break" it tore me apart...really i cried for a couple hours and then called my sis and talked for about 30 minutes but i liked it, it helped me calm down ....don't get me wrong i don't cry about much...we had to kill my dog cuz it went crazy and was a huge liability,..but i saw my dad shoot it and.. i cried a little...but i loved that dog but i've never hurt as bad as i did when this most recent thing happened....and today we were practicing our music at school which has a somewhat near where she lives...kinda..and one of the bases was like "hey mark ur girlfriend's at the gate down there"(they don't know about "us and our break")and i looked but i couldn't tell for sure but i was so happy that i thought she was there..but the girl came to watch and it wasn't her..so yea that sucked but oh well....on the upside i like the song were playing it's easy but fun "aquarius"..well i guess i'm done writing for the time being i guess later i'll ramble on some more? i think this might be the most depressing thing i'll write...