future gas station attendants

[onewayletter]

take a breath. let it out. take another.
take a breath. let it out. take another.
take a breath. let it out. don't get depressed.

these are my fights.
these are my phobias.
these are proud words that slipped out of my mouth.
(i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.)
these are the apologies that i'll forget to make.
(i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.)
these are the reasons that you will hate me,
and i will hate myself.

this is the day my lungs turn black.
(i guess i should have seen it coming.)
this is the day of my impending heart attack.
this is another four years i've lost in school.
this is another wasted night spent alone.

this time my depression will eat itself.
this time my depression will eat itself from the inside out.