What Is Truth? Part One
Where Were You Thinking?
Have you ever been in a position where someone hurt your feelings and even when they showed you that you misread their intent, your feelings would not let go?
I have a problem (technically many problems but lets just focus on this one for a minute): I am addicted to sleep deprivation. Actually, I'm addicted to entertainment which means I spend many nights reading, playing games, or watching television. In case you're wondering, lack of sleep creates huge problems in mental stability. Now, not too long ago, my better half felt inclined to encourage me to go to sleep in a timely manner. In doing so, she inadvertently implied that what I was doing was a waste of time. I became offended at the implication and resisted her, quite vehemently.
The disagreeable feelings lasted several days while I tried to help her understand how she'd hurt my feelings. She explained it had not been her intent to hurt my feelings (I was misreading her) and adamantly refused to apologize as she did not feel she'd done anything wrong. It didn't matter to me that she hadn't meant to hurt my feelings, I felt hurt therefore I was hurt...or was I?
The truth of the matter is this: feelings lie. As one of my several therapists stated in a session: when we feel something strongly enough we believe it to be true when, in fact, it is not. Worse, once we buy into the feeling = fact myth then we start reinforcing our mythology with all kinds of rationalizations and perceived evidence. It gets really special if both people in the disagreement are listening only to their feelings. Then they're in the situation described by the Vorlon Ambassador Kosh Naranek, "Truth is a three-edged sword: one side is your truth, the other side is their truth, and the third side is the truth."
One might then be inclined to distrust feelings altogether and rely wholly on pure logic (think Spock, or perhaps Spock Think). There are several problems with the wholly intellectual approach:
Since both our thoughts and feelings can mislead us, how can we recognize when something is true? The answer: they both have to agree, and I mean really agree in a peaceful assurance kind of way.
Have you ever been in a position where someone hurt your feelings and even when they showed you that you misread their intent, your feelings would not let go?
I have a problem (technically many problems but lets just focus on this one for a minute): I am addicted to sleep deprivation. Actually, I'm addicted to entertainment which means I spend many nights reading, playing games, or watching television. In case you're wondering, lack of sleep creates huge problems in mental stability. Now, not too long ago, my better half felt inclined to encourage me to go to sleep in a timely manner. In doing so, she inadvertently implied that what I was doing was a waste of time. I became offended at the implication and resisted her, quite vehemently.
The disagreeable feelings lasted several days while I tried to help her understand how she'd hurt my feelings. She explained it had not been her intent to hurt my feelings (I was misreading her) and adamantly refused to apologize as she did not feel she'd done anything wrong. It didn't matter to me that she hadn't meant to hurt my feelings, I felt hurt therefore I was hurt...or was I?
The truth of the matter is this: feelings lie. As one of my several therapists stated in a session: when we feel something strongly enough we believe it to be true when, in fact, it is not. Worse, once we buy into the feeling = fact myth then we start reinforcing our mythology with all kinds of rationalizations and perceived evidence. It gets really special if both people in the disagreement are listening only to their feelings. Then they're in the situation described by the Vorlon Ambassador Kosh Naranek, "Truth is a three-edged sword: one side is your truth, the other side is their truth, and the third side is the truth."
One might then be inclined to distrust feelings altogether and rely wholly on pure logic (think Spock, or perhaps Spock Think). There are several problems with the wholly intellectual approach:
- Logic without moral basis leads to error and misery (and ultimately the dark side of the force).
- Thoughts, particularly memories, aren't always accurate.
- If you ignore your feelings, you ultimately betray yourself as, like it or not, you are an emotional and intellectual being.
- [You ideas here]
Since both our thoughts and feelings can mislead us, how can we recognize when something is true? The answer: they both have to agree, and I mean really agree in a peaceful assurance kind of way.