(no subject)
I hate this.
I hate starting the job search AGAIN, only this time, knowing that I can't drag Andy along again. I either find something here, or I don't, and have no job. I wish I had never dragged him into this with me; at least that way I would be free to move anywhere, again.
I also hate that everything, everything, everything is turning into my fault. I'm the one who couldn't make anyone happy, I'm the one responsible for everything, I'm the one who's making life miserable for all. It's all, all, all my fault.
I just want to slit my fucking wrists. Then I wouldn't have to worry about this shit anymore, ever.
But, knowing me, I'd fuck that up too, and then just end up with a big mess that I'd just have to clean up.
I miss cutting. At least that made me feel better.
I hate starting the job search AGAIN, only this time, knowing that I can't drag Andy along again. I either find something here, or I don't, and have no job. I wish I had never dragged him into this with me; at least that way I would be free to move anywhere, again.
I also hate that everything, everything, everything is turning into my fault. I'm the one who couldn't make anyone happy, I'm the one responsible for everything, I'm the one who's making life miserable for all. It's all, all, all my fault.
I just want to slit my fucking wrists. Then I wouldn't have to worry about this shit anymore, ever.
But, knowing me, I'd fuck that up too, and then just end up with a big mess that I'd just have to clean up.
I miss cutting. At least that made me feel better.