just so you know this stuff was in there way before i knew you would be reading it.
This is for my sister, and anyone else interested [May. 10th, 2004|12:45 pm]
"matt wrote me a great e-mail, and honestly my recent conversations with him have only helped move everything along. i re-gain more and more respect, and love for him everyday. i really am proud of him, and what he's trying to do. he's going to be healthy in the head one day i think, and i am on my way to seperating his need to make sure that happens from myself and my needs. i love that boy and he is proving himself to me, that he can be a friend and may one day be capable of a healthy love for me. i say this with the utmost care and thought however, because i have not forgotten and never will...all the shit he put me through and that i am still not safe with him, emotionally. we will live our seperate lives and always love and consider eachother as much as two people some 3,000 miles away can, in a healfull way. one day our paths will (physically) cross again and we'll see how far we've come. i know it."
no more dirty house [Aug. 14th, 2003|05:17 pm
"matt and i got our own place. it's a great one bedroom apartment with hardwood in an old brick building in the u-dist. right accross from hillside quikies, one of our fav. restaurants...i'm so happy and excited to come home to him every day and know that's why he's living with me, so he can do the same...we are so so happy, and lucky to have eachother. i'm the luckiest girl ever."
mathew why are you so good to me? [Jul. 8th, 2003|04:45 am]
"the boy in my life is amazing. he's does what pop was supposed to do back in the day, "fills me up, and never lets me down". how i adore him. last night putting our laundry away together made me happy. seeing his shirts hanging next to mine. doing our grocery shopping..our grocery shopping. makes me happy. he pushes me alot. pushes me to do things i never thought i could. his love support and patience with me is above and beyond. i only hope those who read this or know us can one day have what we do together. those of you who already do, i finally know what yr talking about. just the other day he went out of his way and rode a mile or so to catch up with me on the way to work and give me my keys i forgot. i wouldn't have been able to open the store without them. last night he brought me dinner and a coat, then rode me home from work. i came home to him doing our (mostly my) laundry the other night while dinner was cooking. he showed me how to climb up a rock wall and when my fear of hieghts kicked in and i wouldn't come down for 1/2 an hour he kissed me on my forehead and sat patiently untill i was ready to try. he never underestimates me. never. we've only been together six months or so but these are cause to celebrate, the only problem is i don't think anything i could do would show him how much i admire and care for him. there aren't enough words in the english launguage to begin. not a gesture big enough or sweet enough to express. he is my angel and i love him so."
[Oct. 29th, 2002|10:57 am]
"yesterday was another great day. matt and i went on our walk after we did our chores. we walked to the cemetary and looked at head stones. then we layed on one of the paths and watched the sky turn gold/grey in the distance. it was odd...like maybe there was a fire on the horizon or the sun was setting (it was only 12pm or so). when we got back matt went off to drop applications off where he could..."
"anything martha-stewart-y, i'm all over it"-matt [Oct. 28th, 2002|08:40 am]
so yesterday marek (mar-ek), adriana's (and matt's) boyfriend got back from his wilderness emt class. he was out in a cabin in eastern washington learning how to save lives...so danny, adriana, matt, marek and i all met at the globe for breakfast. good times were had. smiles all around the table. afterward danny went on his way home, as he was sick. while the rest of us took a trip to the farmers market. matt had table dived too much food at the globe so he stayed in the car and slept while we mingled and perused the goods...
the two remaining boys and myself spent the rest of the day together. we hit up REI, where matt got his bike gear- clip shoes, and new clips for his bike. he has an interview with fleet foot bike messanger company as i write this. hott."
"matt wrote me a great e-mail, and honestly my recent conversations with him have only helped move everything along. i re-gain more and more respect, and love for him everyday. i really am proud of him, and what he's trying to do. he's going to be healthy in the head one day i think, and i am on my way to seperating his need to make sure that happens from myself and my needs. i love that boy and he is proving himself to me, that he can be a friend and may one day be capable of a healthy love for me. i say this with the utmost care and thought however, because i have not forgotten and never will...all the shit he put me through and that i am still not safe with him, emotionally. we will live our seperate lives and always love and consider eachother as much as two people some 3,000 miles away can, in a healfull way. one day our paths will (physically) cross again and we'll see how far we've come. i know it."
no more dirty house [Aug. 14th, 2003|05:17 pm
"matt and i got our own place. it's a great one bedroom apartment with hardwood in an old brick building in the u-dist. right accross from hillside quikies, one of our fav. restaurants...i'm so happy and excited to come home to him every day and know that's why he's living with me, so he can do the same...we are so so happy, and lucky to have eachother. i'm the luckiest girl ever."
mathew why are you so good to me? [Jul. 8th, 2003|04:45 am]
"the boy in my life is amazing. he's does what pop was supposed to do back in the day, "fills me up, and never lets me down". how i adore him. last night putting our laundry away together made me happy. seeing his shirts hanging next to mine. doing our grocery shopping..our grocery shopping. makes me happy. he pushes me alot. pushes me to do things i never thought i could. his love support and patience with me is above and beyond. i only hope those who read this or know us can one day have what we do together. those of you who already do, i finally know what yr talking about. just the other day he went out of his way and rode a mile or so to catch up with me on the way to work and give me my keys i forgot. i wouldn't have been able to open the store without them. last night he brought me dinner and a coat, then rode me home from work. i came home to him doing our (mostly my) laundry the other night while dinner was cooking. he showed me how to climb up a rock wall and when my fear of hieghts kicked in and i wouldn't come down for 1/2 an hour he kissed me on my forehead and sat patiently untill i was ready to try. he never underestimates me. never. we've only been together six months or so but these are cause to celebrate, the only problem is i don't think anything i could do would show him how much i admire and care for him. there aren't enough words in the english launguage to begin. not a gesture big enough or sweet enough to express. he is my angel and i love him so."
[Oct. 29th, 2002|10:57 am]
"yesterday was another great day. matt and i went on our walk after we did our chores. we walked to the cemetary and looked at head stones. then we layed on one of the paths and watched the sky turn gold/grey in the distance. it was odd...like maybe there was a fire on the horizon or the sun was setting (it was only 12pm or so). when we got back matt went off to drop applications off where he could..."
"anything martha-stewart-y, i'm all over it"-matt [Oct. 28th, 2002|08:40 am]
so yesterday marek (mar-ek), adriana's (and matt's) boyfriend got back from his wilderness emt class. he was out in a cabin in eastern washington learning how to save lives...so danny, adriana, matt, marek and i all met at the globe for breakfast. good times were had. smiles all around the table. afterward danny went on his way home, as he was sick. while the rest of us took a trip to the farmers market. matt had table dived too much food at the globe so he stayed in the car and slept while we mingled and perused the goods...
the two remaining boys and myself spent the rest of the day together. we hit up REI, where matt got his bike gear- clip shoes, and new clips for his bike. he has an interview with fleet foot bike messanger company as i write this. hott."