[oneshot] light between my sins (maybe everything was meant to be)
Title: light between my sins (maybe everything was meant to be)
Pairing: broken kris/lay (lay pov)
Rating: pg-13
Genre: angst
Word Count: 869
Summary: image prompt. kris broke up with lay...and lay attempts to work through his painful emotions. A/N: written for aideshou's third challenge. if you enjoy the story, please vote for it on the 21st of this month! (though uhh...it's really angsty so i understand if 'enjoy' isn't the right word)
o1. lust - luxuria | an intense desire
Catch me, I whispered. Maybe not out loud, but my heart said the words. And I thought you heard them. I thought you replied. Wasn't there an okay somewhere on your breath? Didn't you do it? Didn't you take me in your arms? Didn't you wrap them around me and hold me tight? I remember it so distinctly...I fell into your arms and we spun around smiling. It was love, right?
o2. gluttony - gula | an overindulgence
I'm either blind or just oblivious. Maybe both. You were such a free spirit, after all. And there I was tying you down. I was needlessly clingy, but I trusted in feelings that apparently didn't exist. I put all my heart into them. I guess that's the problem with being the last of my kind... how many other unicorns do you see around?
I got attached - too attached to the first mystical thing that came near me, dragon.
Granted, those are imaginary personas, but I thrived off of it. Seeing you was my everything. Being near you... filled me.
o3. greed - avaritia | a pursuit of possessions
Our personalities were too different. You were so incredibly cool... and I stood there biting my lip wishing to have a fraction of that. People were just drawn to you. No matter what you did or said - you always had so many people around you. And I had you and you alone no matter what I did.
I would look at you and just let my jaw drop. How lucky was I? How special was I? Out of all the crowds you saw me. And I managed to claim that and fall headfirst into it. Our love...
It was like getting ice cream. Buying into it is amazing. Then you taste it. you have your fill. And you lick the pieces away and it's gone. It's gone.
o4. sloth - socordia | a failure to act
I've never felt so stuck in my life. Never. You looked at me with furrowed brows and a small frown on your lips. Those lips that had showed me the most beautiful gummy smile every day we were together. I don't love you anymore. And that was it.
That was the end.
o5. wrath - ira | a self-destructive anger
I cried once. Just a few tears as I let my head lean on another friend's shoulder. The only one I trust left...and I can't even be too close to him because I'd kept myself alone for too long. Maybe just maybe you're right. Maybe you were all wrong for me. Maybe that part of your argument is true. BUT I DIDN'T CARE...because you made me happy.
That was enough for me.
I'm a sobbing mess. What are these things rolling down my cheeks and why am I leaking? STOP BLAMING YOURSELF! I cry into my own ears. My hands ball as fists as I sit alone in the dark.
Begging someone out there... someone somewhere.. to hold me tight.
o6. envy - invidia | an insatiable desire
I just can't catch a break... I just can't. Everyone else gets to be happy. I see them. Laughing and clinging to each other. And I wanted just a little bit of that too. That joy... I deserve a bit too, right? But instead I'm hurt every other week and striving so hard to be worth something. I'm exhausted.
o7. pride - superbia | a love of self
I deserve to be treated better than this...
o8. apathy - acedia | a lack of joy
I'm in a forest now. Real or imaginary, I'll let someone else decide. Isn't that the place for a unicorn though? A forest is a good place to hide. A good place to explore. Maybe it's not a forest. Maybe it's a labyrinth. And maybe it's all in my heart and my head. I don't need to leave a path of bread crumbs because I'm already leaving a path of tears. What? Those will dry up? The bread crumbs would get eaten anyway so might as well. Might as well get lost. Might as well trap myself in the fortress of my heart. Protect the unicorn.
It's the last one, after all.
It's getting dark - the sun's setting. I can see it through the trees. Or is that the sun? A bright light between bars. it could be anything.
o9. vainglory - vangloria | unjustified boasting
But...that's just all the voices in my head. The moments replaying on an endless loop. How do I escape? How do I hack my feelings away? How do I close myself off to everything that hurts?
How do I defeat the dragon imprinted on in my mind?
I'm not a knight. I'm not strong. I'm just a unicorn - no.
I'm just a boy. A boy who misses you far too much. And tomorrow we'll both wake up and stand on the stage together again. I'll try to shield my eyes from the brightness of your existence. Between the shadows of my fingers you'll still move and shine. You're lucky like that.
Maybe someday I'll find an even more glorious sun. Maybe someday I'll have a love worth being made into a sweet romantic comedy... Maybe someday someone will see I'm worth keeping around. Maybe someday...
Pairing: broken kris/lay (lay pov)
Rating: pg-13
Genre: angst
Word Count: 869
Summary: image prompt. kris broke up with lay...and lay attempts to work through his painful emotions. A/N: written for aideshou's third challenge. if you enjoy the story, please vote for it on the 21st of this month! (though uhh...it's really angsty so i understand if 'enjoy' isn't the right word)
o1. lust - luxuria | an intense desire
Catch me, I whispered. Maybe not out loud, but my heart said the words. And I thought you heard them. I thought you replied. Wasn't there an okay somewhere on your breath? Didn't you do it? Didn't you take me in your arms? Didn't you wrap them around me and hold me tight? I remember it so distinctly...I fell into your arms and we spun around smiling. It was love, right?
o2. gluttony - gula | an overindulgence
I'm either blind or just oblivious. Maybe both. You were such a free spirit, after all. And there I was tying you down. I was needlessly clingy, but I trusted in feelings that apparently didn't exist. I put all my heart into them. I guess that's the problem with being the last of my kind... how many other unicorns do you see around?
I got attached - too attached to the first mystical thing that came near me, dragon.
Granted, those are imaginary personas, but I thrived off of it. Seeing you was my everything. Being near you... filled me.
o3. greed - avaritia | a pursuit of possessions
Our personalities were too different. You were so incredibly cool... and I stood there biting my lip wishing to have a fraction of that. People were just drawn to you. No matter what you did or said - you always had so many people around you. And I had you and you alone no matter what I did.
I would look at you and just let my jaw drop. How lucky was I? How special was I? Out of all the crowds you saw me. And I managed to claim that and fall headfirst into it. Our love...
It was like getting ice cream. Buying into it is amazing. Then you taste it. you have your fill. And you lick the pieces away and it's gone. It's gone.
o4. sloth - socordia | a failure to act
I've never felt so stuck in my life. Never. You looked at me with furrowed brows and a small frown on your lips. Those lips that had showed me the most beautiful gummy smile every day we were together. I don't love you anymore. And that was it.
That was the end.
o5. wrath - ira | a self-destructive anger
I cried once. Just a few tears as I let my head lean on another friend's shoulder. The only one I trust left...and I can't even be too close to him because I'd kept myself alone for too long. Maybe just maybe you're right. Maybe you were all wrong for me. Maybe that part of your argument is true. BUT I DIDN'T CARE...because you made me happy.
That was enough for me.
I'm a sobbing mess. What are these things rolling down my cheeks and why am I leaking? STOP BLAMING YOURSELF! I cry into my own ears. My hands ball as fists as I sit alone in the dark.
Begging someone out there... someone somewhere.. to hold me tight.
o6. envy - invidia | an insatiable desire
I just can't catch a break... I just can't. Everyone else gets to be happy. I see them. Laughing and clinging to each other. And I wanted just a little bit of that too. That joy... I deserve a bit too, right? But instead I'm hurt every other week and striving so hard to be worth something. I'm exhausted.
o7. pride - superbia | a love of self
I deserve to be treated better than this...
o8. apathy - acedia | a lack of joy
I'm in a forest now. Real or imaginary, I'll let someone else decide. Isn't that the place for a unicorn though? A forest is a good place to hide. A good place to explore. Maybe it's not a forest. Maybe it's a labyrinth. And maybe it's all in my heart and my head. I don't need to leave a path of bread crumbs because I'm already leaving a path of tears. What? Those will dry up? The bread crumbs would get eaten anyway so might as well. Might as well get lost. Might as well trap myself in the fortress of my heart. Protect the unicorn.
It's the last one, after all.
It's getting dark - the sun's setting. I can see it through the trees. Or is that the sun? A bright light between bars. it could be anything.
o9. vainglory - vangloria | unjustified boasting
But...that's just all the voices in my head. The moments replaying on an endless loop. How do I escape? How do I hack my feelings away? How do I close myself off to everything that hurts?
How do I defeat the dragon imprinted on in my mind?
I'm not a knight. I'm not strong. I'm just a unicorn - no.
I'm just a boy. A boy who misses you far too much. And tomorrow we'll both wake up and stand on the stage together again. I'll try to shield my eyes from the brightness of your existence. Between the shadows of my fingers you'll still move and shine. You're lucky like that.
Maybe someday I'll find an even more glorious sun. Maybe someday I'll have a love worth being made into a sweet romantic comedy... Maybe someday someone will see I'm worth keeping around. Maybe someday...