...join us tomorrow, when wolf blitzer hosts "CNN Presents: Asshole passions II"
So today, i found with myself, as usual, with large amounts of time on my hands
so what does one do when one finds oneself with a lack of things to do?
Why one must do what any good North American would do! Turn on the cultural Black Hole that is cable television!
I settled down for some mind numbingly good tv and 20 minutes of music videos later, I absent-mindedly flipped to CNN... Only to stumble upon (what would prove to be) the juciest, craziest, most absurdly sensational story that has happened in years...
This afternoon now had a purpose:
I would indulge in the time honoured tradition of weathering tragedy, political scandals, and disasters (both natural and humanitarian) by watching CNN like cheap porn.
In it's begginings, the story was mearly tragic, worrying, and frankly a little confusing, and as usual CNN was doing what they call "covering every angle"or as a lot of other people like to call it: "sexxing up the news". But when that one, perfect, line was uttered, the whole playing field changed (that unfortunately deserves a pre-emptive: no pun intended)
At around 2:10 My life was made complete, for never before had I belived that i would one day live to hear line:
"Sorry to intterrupt, but we have BREAKING NEW DEVELOPMENTS from the SPORTS DESK"
AND have it not only
A) be interesting
but
B) be RELEVANT to ACTUAL NEWS
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/US/10/11/plane.crash/index.html
watching Nancy Grace like barely legal cumsluts has never payed off so well
(now don't get me wrond this whole story is tragic, and a little scary, but lets be honest, it really is one of the ULTIMATE CNN Stories. It has" planes, plane crashes, possible links to terrorism, sports stars, new york, the yankees... etc. You could practically HEAR the news-casters shitting themselves as they announced the new twist)
but really, lets face it, the absolute apex of CNN journalistic achievement will be the when they have the oppurtunity to write a story which goes something like "TERRORISTS HIJACK AIRLINE FULL OF KITTENS, CELEBRETIES WHO WERE AS OF YET TO ACHIEVE THEIR FULL POTENTIAL, AND CRASH PLANE INTO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!"
except the ticker would simply read "asd lkjfh 2345asljfh dglkj;wn g;lkjnas bjsjfZB BBFSHUFHUGLIUAEFH" as their minds would have exploded form the journalistic orgasm they would be experiencing...
so what does one do when one finds oneself with a lack of things to do?
Why one must do what any good North American would do! Turn on the cultural Black Hole that is cable television!
I settled down for some mind numbingly good tv and 20 minutes of music videos later, I absent-mindedly flipped to CNN... Only to stumble upon (what would prove to be) the juciest, craziest, most absurdly sensational story that has happened in years...
This afternoon now had a purpose:
I would indulge in the time honoured tradition of weathering tragedy, political scandals, and disasters (both natural and humanitarian) by watching CNN like cheap porn.
In it's begginings, the story was mearly tragic, worrying, and frankly a little confusing, and as usual CNN was doing what they call "covering every angle"or as a lot of other people like to call it: "sexxing up the news". But when that one, perfect, line was uttered, the whole playing field changed (that unfortunately deserves a pre-emptive: no pun intended)
At around 2:10 My life was made complete, for never before had I belived that i would one day live to hear line:
"Sorry to intterrupt, but we have BREAKING NEW DEVELOPMENTS from the SPORTS DESK"
AND have it not only
A) be interesting
but
B) be RELEVANT to ACTUAL NEWS
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/US/10/11/plane.crash/index.html
watching Nancy Grace like barely legal cumsluts has never payed off so well
(now don't get me wrond this whole story is tragic, and a little scary, but lets be honest, it really is one of the ULTIMATE CNN Stories. It has" planes, plane crashes, possible links to terrorism, sports stars, new york, the yankees... etc. You could practically HEAR the news-casters shitting themselves as they announced the new twist)
but really, lets face it, the absolute apex of CNN journalistic achievement will be the when they have the oppurtunity to write a story which goes something like "TERRORISTS HIJACK AIRLINE FULL OF KITTENS, CELEBRETIES WHO WERE AS OF YET TO ACHIEVE THEIR FULL POTENTIAL, AND CRASH PLANE INTO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!"
except the ticker would simply read "asd lkjfh 2345asljfh dglkj;wn g;lkjnas bjsjfZB BBFSHUFHUGLIUAEFH" as their minds would have exploded form the journalistic orgasm they would be experiencing...