staying positive
I wonder if anyone I know has found this journal. If you have now you see what I go through. I just dont understand people. Why do they suck so much? I am really starting to dislike everything. I obviously have a problem. I binged last night and I am really sad about it. I know its because of how wound up I feel inside it has to be. I know its mind over matter. I want to overcome this. Its so difficult to just jump into diet and weightloss. It is hard to tell your head no more food when it is in craving overboard mode. The other half of my binge eating is boredom and feeling horrible, which doesnt make it better cause I remain in that pattern. Fuck this. Today I am going to try so hard not to binge or overeat at all even if it is painful to do. So far I ate a cheese stick and 4 small rounds of sugar busters bread with butter and water. I am hoping not to snack tonight at all and just eat a sensible dinner. I also want to start excercising. My feet hurt so much and my legs too. I feel like a big blob what happened to me. Why did I let myself get like this. I used to be 220 pounds and care about my weight, that is still high but its better than where I am now. I used to work out like a maniac and not eat alot. I want to be back where I was.