Crossroads
I love my job, yet I'm at a huge wide intersection of diverse directions. I hate committing to something out of fear I'll miss out on other chances of something better. Yet, I know at the same time the Lord is the one in charge and his plans are greater than mine. I also know his are the best ones, and I'm not missing anything at all.
I just don't like this middle indesicion place where I have to wait at the centre of this crossroads. I have a whole avenue of opportunities about to be made available to me in my current job. I also just had an interview for a different department doing a whole new role. I could sit here all night and play what-if, but I know it's pointless.
I can't stop though. I wonder what if I leave and miss out on all these exciting chances? What if I stay, and those never materialise, and I miss out on some exciting new things coming up in the other department? I don't find out for a few more days yet, and at the same time, that's the day we find out whether they're selling our company or splitting it up, or what..
I don't know, I put my name in on impulse for the other position. I didn't expect to get an interview. I didn't expect my manager to look all sad at me and tell me that I'm almost guaranteed to get the job. I didn't expect to feel so torn about changing department - before I even knew if I'm changing. I do love my job. But, I do love learning new things and I don't know what opportunities the new job holds.
I guess I'll know more on Friday. I keep saying that I can turn it down if I don't want the job. Truth is I wouldn't turn it down. I don't even expect to get the job. I'm going to freak out completely if I do get it. Yet again, I have to keep reminding myself that it's in the hands of the Lord. Then, I start to worry that maybe he's putting it there to test if I'll discern correctly and say no when I need to.
I'll be fine. I'll take it as it comes. I'll deal with it if I get offered it. If I do, I'll just take it. If I hate it, I can go back. If I love it, I haven't lost anything. If I don't get offered the job, I'll be just as happy in my current role. See? I know the answers yet I just can't let go. Something makes me worry about the things I have no control over. Although I already know that the outcome will always work for the best, my mind twists and turns and makes me spend hours wasting time worrying about what I cannot change.
Rom 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good, for them that love God, for them who are the called according to his purpose."
I just don't like this middle indesicion place where I have to wait at the centre of this crossroads. I have a whole avenue of opportunities about to be made available to me in my current job. I also just had an interview for a different department doing a whole new role. I could sit here all night and play what-if, but I know it's pointless.
I can't stop though. I wonder what if I leave and miss out on all these exciting chances? What if I stay, and those never materialise, and I miss out on some exciting new things coming up in the other department? I don't find out for a few more days yet, and at the same time, that's the day we find out whether they're selling our company or splitting it up, or what..
I don't know, I put my name in on impulse for the other position. I didn't expect to get an interview. I didn't expect my manager to look all sad at me and tell me that I'm almost guaranteed to get the job. I didn't expect to feel so torn about changing department - before I even knew if I'm changing. I do love my job. But, I do love learning new things and I don't know what opportunities the new job holds.
I guess I'll know more on Friday. I keep saying that I can turn it down if I don't want the job. Truth is I wouldn't turn it down. I don't even expect to get the job. I'm going to freak out completely if I do get it. Yet again, I have to keep reminding myself that it's in the hands of the Lord. Then, I start to worry that maybe he's putting it there to test if I'll discern correctly and say no when I need to.
I'll be fine. I'll take it as it comes. I'll deal with it if I get offered it. If I do, I'll just take it. If I hate it, I can go back. If I love it, I haven't lost anything. If I don't get offered the job, I'll be just as happy in my current role. See? I know the answers yet I just can't let go. Something makes me worry about the things I have no control over. Although I already know that the outcome will always work for the best, my mind twists and turns and makes me spend hours wasting time worrying about what I cannot change.
Rom 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good, for them that love God, for them who are the called according to his purpose."