Day 4-- Through The Looking Glass

[vacationisalie]

[This is insane.]

Hey Roxas? I gotta tell you something… something important, okay?

I’m not what you think I am.

[This is wrong.]

You remember when you unlocked your heart to save Kairi? Well I do too.

[It has to be the world’s biggest joke yet, Roxas’ mouth set in a thin, pale line as his hands grip the keyblade, slashing into everything. Break it all

Comments

[dormition]

[This... isn't right. Minato is patient, and all for letting people get out their feelings, but this isn't right. The figments of conversation that he'd mentally overheard hadn't helped much, either-- what he knew of that world was so little, the context so scant. In the end, regardless of what he understands, what matters to him is his friend being so upset.]

... Roxas? [He comes toward him, concern flickering over his face, one hand raised. He just doesn't know what else to say. He feels a little like an intruder.]

[vacationisalie]

Minato... [There's three people from his dreams that could make him stop tearing this all apart, and this is one of them. There's dirt on his cheek- his keyblade is covered in dust and nicks- for a moment, he feels ashamed.]

[No one was supposed to see this, but Minato, Aerith and Sora? They're the last people he wants to know.]

Um, I was just-

Sorry.

[dormition]

[He shakes his head, denying the apology.] No, I... I'm just worried, [he tells him honestly, approaching closer now.]

What's going on?

[vacationisalie]

[Roxas takes a deep breath, shoulders slumping. Its been...a month now, hasn't it? A month of traveling, and dreaming; there's so much he's been keeping in, and this dream itself is a manifestation of all of that.]

[Relying on someone, confiding in them; Minato may still judge.]

I was never meant to exist.

[dormition]

[He can't know it, but Minato would be the last person to judge. Something like understanding clouds his expression, the concern receding; he's not entirely unfamiliar with revelations like this.

Reacting to it so strongly, though... that's something he's never done.] You do now. Is that going to change?

[vacationisalie]

[He doesn't quite recognize it for what it is. Maybe pity, or compassion? But understanding- he doesn't want to think that anyone else would have a grasp on such a thing. Especially a friend.]

I don't know. It was supposed to. When I met him, I was supposed to disappear.

But I didn't.

[He shakes his head, speaking more for himself than for Minato, at this point.]

And now...

The little I did know doesn't actually mean anything.

[dormition]

Who you are hasn't changed, [he refutes, a concreteness to his words.] You're still Roxas. You just know the truth.

[Another friend that he might lose. Minato feels stretched taut, can't help but think of Ryoji, of getting to know him and caring about him just in time for him to become the Appriser.]

Hiatus went for longer than expected, sorry love

[vacationisalie]

[Another shake of his head- the anger is gone. In its place is...resignation. He can only go off what's been told to him, chest tight with conflicting emotions that aren't really his to feel.]

I might not be Roxas for long.

[Slowly but surely, there's still the possibility that he'll disappear. The last moments might even be sudden.]

I was happy to get to know you, at least. But maybe this dream is trying to tell me something.

Maybe this should be the end of the road.

don't worry about it <3 you know I'll backtag forever~

[dormition]

You mean-- [he hesitates] stay here?

[With him, as company? It's a selfish motive, so he doesn't give voice to that. He really does want whatever's best for his friend. His words, "happy to get to know you", resonate with Minato: it was the exact sentiment he'd felt when he had died that first time, sacrificed to keep the world safe. Peaceful acceptance... gratefulness...

He might understand a little, now, why everyone had been so upset with him.]

Cause you're amazing like that~

[vacationisalie]

Not stay here, exactly. In fact- [He fidgets, avoiding Minato's gaze in a nervous gesture.] I don't know if I'll be back at all.

But I can't wait for life to be taken away. I want to see it coming.

[The look on Sora's face, the way he'll draw his blade- Roxas wants to see and know. That there's no hesitation, that he really isn't meant to exist. That his other agrees with the sentiments of so many people from the worlds they've been to.]

[He wants to see it coming, when the blade strikes down.]

haha, more like I'm slow enough I'd never finish any threads if I didn't!

[dormition]

[Minato doesn't like to talk about this, about anything personal, really, but this in particular - however. If he might never see Roxas again, it's churlish to hold back.]

... A few years ago, I learned something like what you learned. That I wasn't what I thought I was. And I faced death because it was the only thing I could do to save my friends.

I don't regret it, but I didn't realize how hard it is for the other people to watch.

Ah man, we can just be slow together, methinks.

[vacationisalie]

[The words settle into Roxas' chest like lead, and he's blinking back tears without really knowing why those words seem to hit him so hard. He's never watched someone die-]

[One breath at a time. Just one.]

I'm sorry.

But I've spent my whole life not really knowing anything. And a lot of people took advantage of me because of that- Sora should know what I do now. So people won't take advantage of him, either.

[Like they already are; Yen Sid, the king. Kind hearted in nature and working for the best, but without the understanding that Sora was a kid, one who had goals and ambitions and needed to know more than one perspective so he could learn to make up his own mind.]

I've spent so much time being angry with anyone I didn't realize he's just as clueless as me.