In Which I Angst Over Liberal Guilt
So, St. Olaf tries to cultivate this idea of "Lives of Worth and Service" in its students. We are supposed to lead lives of "unselfish service to others", as I believe the mission statement puts it (have I mentioned how much I hate mission statements? Well I do. A lot). You know what? I don't want to.
I am surrounded by people who are unfailingly good. They are passionate, filled with righteous anger, and devoted to making the world a better place. Even the people I know who are not politically active are good, thoughtful people on a more personal level--the sort of people who are always thinking about others. I am not a "good" person. I am selfish, I am egotistical and self-centered, I am unthinking and inconsiderate. I have claimed a driving political philosophy, feminism, that directly affects me, or that addresses issues that I may face someday. There is nothing selfless or giving about it.
What I've realized today, is that I don't care. I know what I want out of life: a job that pays, a house, lots of books, opportunities to learn more about subjects that interest me, and a chance to travel. I want to have the people I like near me, and I want to have dogs. I don't want to save the world. I mean, I'll help out, but I don't want to give my life to the cause. I just want to be left alone.
The problem is, that I will likely (short of a complete and total erasure of the middle class in my country) be able to have what I want. But other people don't have the same opportunities. Is it selfish of me to cash in on my privilege? Can I have what I want and yet aviod the exploitation of others? Is my very existence as a white, middle-class American engendering the oppression of non-white, poor/working class people? If so, what are my obligations to the people I (inadvertently) oppress?
I've talked a lot about this with a friend of mine who also studied abroad in England (Lancaster) last semester. Since we're both just returning to the Hill and are both trying to figure out what we're doing with our lives, we've got a lot of shared experiences. She wants to be a teacher, and told me, "I just want to work in a nice, cushy suburban school. And I'm okay with that." She told me she believes you can just be a decent person in your daily life and still have a positive impact on the world. She doesn't think you have to give up yourself in order to make a difference.
I hope she's right.