(no subject)
my birthday last year.
i think a nursing 102 test and 8 hrs of work still beats that ;)
i heard someone tell someone else: 'well stop accepting crap and demand the best.' i think i accept crap. i think i don't know what to do even if i have the best in my hands.
i am definitely already feeling a bit better, healthwise, energywise, since the diet change of the other day. good. exercise will help even more. one foot in front of the other. look to tomorrow then stop because it gets so blurry.
it hurts to know you didn't care, to accept that. i can't explain all the tears and all the lies. but if you had just shown up at my door. crawled into bed with me. anything, really. i would have looked at you differently.
i am waiting for the day to come when all these episodes, all these efforts at self-improvement and gaining knowledge, these perfect moments that explode into smiles or lapse into kisses or the singular feel of accomplishment, of something well done - waiting until they all stop orbiting, but come together, and make me into a whole person. i feel so scattered, so everywhere. so deadset on this, when my heart just screams for something different. i've never trusted my heart, every time its led me into devastating situations. i will lead with my brain for a while - through school, through some travel, until my heart learns.
i think a nursing 102 test and 8 hrs of work still beats that ;)
i heard someone tell someone else: 'well stop accepting crap and demand the best.' i think i accept crap. i think i don't know what to do even if i have the best in my hands.
i am definitely already feeling a bit better, healthwise, energywise, since the diet change of the other day. good. exercise will help even more. one foot in front of the other. look to tomorrow then stop because it gets so blurry.
it hurts to know you didn't care, to accept that. i can't explain all the tears and all the lies. but if you had just shown up at my door. crawled into bed with me. anything, really. i would have looked at you differently.
i am waiting for the day to come when all these episodes, all these efforts at self-improvement and gaining knowledge, these perfect moments that explode into smiles or lapse into kisses or the singular feel of accomplishment, of something well done - waiting until they all stop orbiting, but come together, and make me into a whole person. i feel so scattered, so everywhere. so deadset on this, when my heart just screams for something different. i've never trusted my heart, every time its led me into devastating situations. i will lead with my brain for a while - through school, through some travel, until my heart learns.