blah
so im sitting here coughing my lungs up, not looking at the keyboard. just thinking. the brothers bugging me. its aqlways about time or something. when cna i go on the computer blah blah blah everything needs to be on the fucking dot. so i might have strep or something...i hope i dont because i might not be able to go to camp. and that would suck. im just rambling, it makes me sound unintelligent. sitting breahting, it makes me sad. when i think i cant take it. i want to be numb. i dont want to feel. i dont want to think.
sir lancealot (my snake) ran away. so i cleaned my entire room looking for him. i came across my old poems and diarys. as i read them i dont even remeber that person. i feel like i was reading someone elses life. im not attached. when did that happen? i dont remeber anything.
or maybe i just trained myself to forget.
but was it really that bad? i cant figure it out. and all the thinking thats going on makes me want to puke. rambling rambling rambling... im sorry if you read this far.
i dont have a life. im just drifting. nothing happens.
i have to admit. i am afraid. afraid of everything. i dont take risks. i am afraid of the consequences. but its not really what i am afraid of. its my dad. he doesnt scare me. its his power over me. he controls everything. i want to try all this stuff. but i know i never will. not until i move out. by then ill be a lump of flesh. not even a person. because i dont think for myself.
GET A LIFE.
sir lancealot (my snake) ran away. so i cleaned my entire room looking for him. i came across my old poems and diarys. as i read them i dont even remeber that person. i feel like i was reading someone elses life. im not attached. when did that happen? i dont remeber anything.
or maybe i just trained myself to forget.
but was it really that bad? i cant figure it out. and all the thinking thats going on makes me want to puke. rambling rambling rambling... im sorry if you read this far.
i dont have a life. im just drifting. nothing happens.
i have to admit. i am afraid. afraid of everything. i dont take risks. i am afraid of the consequences. but its not really what i am afraid of. its my dad. he doesnt scare me. its his power over me. he controls everything. i want to try all this stuff. but i know i never will. not until i move out. by then ill be a lump of flesh. not even a person. because i dont think for myself.
GET A LIFE.