Sep 15, 2011 11:27
FUCK. It's all been on the wrong puzzle. No wonder this piece has never fit. I've been on the wrong plane. When life is a billion pieces, you can get pretty confused. Unfortunately, I thought this was a middle piece, but it's an end piece I can't figure out.
I've loved this piece. At least I think I did. It looks good...took care of it. Didn't lose it. It makes me smile a little bit still. Maybe that's why it wants to be a center piece, when it's really an end piece. I was good to it. I wonder how that piece views me...probably oddly. The piece would have abused me, used me, disrespected me, and made me cry. All my pieces have done that in fact.
Maybe all the good ones aren't meant to be put down yet. All the good pieces haven't escaped my heart and mind to the puzzle...probably because they are good ones.
I want so badly to put this end piece down, but it was never my piece in the first place to put down. It's always been someone elses...and when I find that person's puzzle, that piece will fit to it. Because as much as I want it to fit to mine, it will never work without breaking some other memory of mine.
But I will hold it and cherish it until I figure out who it goes to. I don't want to harm it or upset it or ruin it. I want that piece to fit someone's life like I wished it would've fit in mine. FUCK.
I'm going back to bed.