With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.
With every thought I come closer to making my decision. Not suicide, although that would be the easiest way to get out of this little predicament. Only one other person knows what I am talking about. It is not Cheska. Sometimes I feel guilty because I want to talk to her about everything that is going on...but sometimes I just can't. I know it would deeply hurt me if she talked to somebody about something and wouldn't talk to me about it. It's happened before with us. I know how it feels. Feels like rejection. It will most likely be a while before everything happens, even after I make the decision. I have five choices.
1) -----------
2) -----------
3) Suicide
4) ----------
5) ----------
Number five is the choice that is the most likely to not happen. Number one would tear me up inside at times. Number two...well...I don't really know how number two would go. I think it would be pretty good for a while. It would probably end up like number one, though. Number three...Number three was my number one choice for years. Although I may want to go through with it...I highly doubt that it will ever happen. Number four could happen, but it includes a lot of confusion and depression. Number four would almost definitely result in number three taking place.
This isn't anything that anybody should worry about. There isn't anything that anybody can really do about it. I'm not whining or bitching about it. I put myself in this position. I have to deal with everything that is going to happen. I guess there could be a sixth choice....it wouldn't be right, though. Really, none of this should matter to anybody except for three people. One of them being me.
Goodbye.
1) -----------
2) -----------
3) Suicide
4) ----------
5) ----------
Number five is the choice that is the most likely to not happen. Number one would tear me up inside at times. Number two...well...I don't really know how number two would go. I think it would be pretty good for a while. It would probably end up like number one, though. Number three...Number three was my number one choice for years. Although I may want to go through with it...I highly doubt that it will ever happen. Number four could happen, but it includes a lot of confusion and depression. Number four would almost definitely result in number three taking place.
This isn't anything that anybody should worry about. There isn't anything that anybody can really do about it. I'm not whining or bitching about it. I put myself in this position. I have to deal with everything that is going to happen. I guess there could be a sixth choice....it wouldn't be right, though. Really, none of this should matter to anybody except for three people. One of them being me.
Goodbye.