A code of integrity, dignity, and pride, chiefly among men...
I am alive and well.
My inspirations comes and hides at it's own will so all that I had to say in this entry will not be said.
I received an email a few days ago... It was from my Uncle Stan. The only one in my family that not only loves me, but knows me. At least knows me the best. Complete respect and love for this man. He wrote saying he hadn't heard from me for awhile and that we should go out and get that beer we planned on getting on my 21st birthday. (Now 24) He told me that my other Uncle had passed and I regret not being present for that but what can I do? I have a life to build, experiences to experience and great lessons to learn on my own. This is the first I have heard from my family since I have left. They do not know where I am or what I am doing, not one of them. I have considered giving my Uncle the address for this journal but I'm just not sure. I want to come back a noble man, I'm just not sure if I want my family or remaining friends in on the gradual build. I'm done causing heartache and I believe that is what I would give if I included others on my intent and actions. We'll see.
There was a man at the shelter whose name is Jerry. He is the only one there that would not talk to a single person, nor did anyone want to approach him. 60's, from Kentucky, 40 years in prison, hard. core. So I came up with a plan. A man in prison must have played cards, and I knew everyone there was wanting to play something other than spades. So I went and bought a pack and brought it back to the shelter. Opened it up, asked Jerry if he would team up with me... He was hesitant of me at first but after a few games of winning I got a smile out of him. Seems as if it lightened everyone’s moods because we haven't stopped the euchre tournament yet. Winners stay losers walk and there is always, always 2 people waiting. Good times, helps to pass the time.
Preacher came in on Sunday, with 4 friends (I assume). To this point the preachers had been preaching the fear of hell then asking anyone if they needed prayer. However their intent was hidden, it was to almost guilt the men who only wanted prayer to come up and get saved. If they didn't move out came the fear of hell preaching again. Disgusting. These men are at a low point, as am I... Do not play games with our hearts. However, on Sunday 5 black men came in to give a sermon. 4 testimonies and 1 sermon. I was floored. Floored. I was seconds and inches away from going up to be saved, and from a relapsed catholic into an agnostic this was life changing. I decided to give it a novena, 9 days. We'll see what happens next Tuesday. Even though my faith in pastors has gone down, my faith in the decency of man... At his absolute bottom which is just another term for a man who is humble... Well that faith has increased 10 fold.
The old man who got drunk and fell has been clean for 3 days.
There is another man who has been clean for 28 days today.
Yet another clean for 3 months.
Pray for these men in whatever fashion you desire.
Pray for the men at the shelter that they may find brotherhood.
Pray that they will be uncompromising in their will to live.
Pray that they find clarity.
More than anything pray the virtue be showered down upon all men there.
In whatever way you want.
My time for reflection has been minimum. I'm giving this week to the men in whatever way I can then it will be time for reflection, investigation, healing and moving forward.
Until then, be well.
PS: Scary Jerry and I have now become very close. Quite an honorable man. It may be honor among thieves so to speak, but it is honor.
My inspirations comes and hides at it's own will so all that I had to say in this entry will not be said.
I received an email a few days ago... It was from my Uncle Stan. The only one in my family that not only loves me, but knows me. At least knows me the best. Complete respect and love for this man. He wrote saying he hadn't heard from me for awhile and that we should go out and get that beer we planned on getting on my 21st birthday. (Now 24) He told me that my other Uncle had passed and I regret not being present for that but what can I do? I have a life to build, experiences to experience and great lessons to learn on my own. This is the first I have heard from my family since I have left. They do not know where I am or what I am doing, not one of them. I have considered giving my Uncle the address for this journal but I'm just not sure. I want to come back a noble man, I'm just not sure if I want my family or remaining friends in on the gradual build. I'm done causing heartache and I believe that is what I would give if I included others on my intent and actions. We'll see.
There was a man at the shelter whose name is Jerry. He is the only one there that would not talk to a single person, nor did anyone want to approach him. 60's, from Kentucky, 40 years in prison, hard. core. So I came up with a plan. A man in prison must have played cards, and I knew everyone there was wanting to play something other than spades. So I went and bought a pack and brought it back to the shelter. Opened it up, asked Jerry if he would team up with me... He was hesitant of me at first but after a few games of winning I got a smile out of him. Seems as if it lightened everyone’s moods because we haven't stopped the euchre tournament yet. Winners stay losers walk and there is always, always 2 people waiting. Good times, helps to pass the time.
Preacher came in on Sunday, with 4 friends (I assume). To this point the preachers had been preaching the fear of hell then asking anyone if they needed prayer. However their intent was hidden, it was to almost guilt the men who only wanted prayer to come up and get saved. If they didn't move out came the fear of hell preaching again. Disgusting. These men are at a low point, as am I... Do not play games with our hearts. However, on Sunday 5 black men came in to give a sermon. 4 testimonies and 1 sermon. I was floored. Floored. I was seconds and inches away from going up to be saved, and from a relapsed catholic into an agnostic this was life changing. I decided to give it a novena, 9 days. We'll see what happens next Tuesday. Even though my faith in pastors has gone down, my faith in the decency of man... At his absolute bottom which is just another term for a man who is humble... Well that faith has increased 10 fold.
The old man who got drunk and fell has been clean for 3 days.
There is another man who has been clean for 28 days today.
Yet another clean for 3 months.
Pray for these men in whatever fashion you desire.
Pray for the men at the shelter that they may find brotherhood.
Pray that they will be uncompromising in their will to live.
Pray that they find clarity.
More than anything pray the virtue be showered down upon all men there.
In whatever way you want.
My time for reflection has been minimum. I'm giving this week to the men in whatever way I can then it will be time for reflection, investigation, healing and moving forward.
Until then, be well.
PS: Scary Jerry and I have now become very close. Quite an honorable man. It may be honor among thieves so to speak, but it is honor.