realismo magico
last night i typed in an entry and didn't post it. before that i typed in an entry a week ago and didn't post it. otherwise i have spent some time away, from livejournal, from the community itself maybe. finding myself? i don't know that i was lost. but i found something. the story of the finding it is written only in my memory and the lines of my skin.
everybody's got their own story. even while i'm sitting here living mine i'm surrounded by other stories, all playing out at once. so i come out of my retreat into the primordial womb, i am reborn and yet still myself, and i look at the world as if i'm only just seeing it for the first time. and i am. i've never seen this moment before, this look on your face. i have never said this to anyone. this song is the first song ever sung.
october 6th 2002. and it's only the first day of many, it's only the beginning. what's more amazing than anything else? that i don't have to look behind me to smile. the sun is going to set any minute now but when it does i catch that first lovely planet in the east. and then the stars, the stars which wait for us to look up before they send a messenger across the sky. and then the dawn, that determined marker of changing time. and we will forgive her for stealing away the night because she will gift us with the pale morning and we will be lit up with her sweet hope. and it will shine, and it will rain, and i will be swept by light winds and hurricanes, and it will be life and it will be living.
i'm not going to shove myself in anyone's face, and that's why i didn't post last night. but i'm not going to apologize for myself unless i do something wrong, and i'm not going to color inside someone else's lines. i am returned, i am real, i am happy. i am unequal to my own powers of description. right now it's more music than words.
the poetry is bleeding out of the walls. you don't even have to write it. you live it.
"so they say another lie:
'love's a rumour but love will die'
we're lost and wandering
deep in the ocean there lies a wave for you . . .
when you hit the ground it's hard to speak
but it's who you are
a shining star
go
tell the millions begin!
we'll run through the fields, the turning of wheels
down with the buildings, worlds on your shoulders
climb through the wasteland
wait for the sky to remind you
these things are true . . ."
this is what i wanted to post in matt's journal and didn't have the guts.
everybody's got their own story. even while i'm sitting here living mine i'm surrounded by other stories, all playing out at once. so i come out of my retreat into the primordial womb, i am reborn and yet still myself, and i look at the world as if i'm only just seeing it for the first time. and i am. i've never seen this moment before, this look on your face. i have never said this to anyone. this song is the first song ever sung.
october 6th 2002. and it's only the first day of many, it's only the beginning. what's more amazing than anything else? that i don't have to look behind me to smile. the sun is going to set any minute now but when it does i catch that first lovely planet in the east. and then the stars, the stars which wait for us to look up before they send a messenger across the sky. and then the dawn, that determined marker of changing time. and we will forgive her for stealing away the night because she will gift us with the pale morning and we will be lit up with her sweet hope. and it will shine, and it will rain, and i will be swept by light winds and hurricanes, and it will be life and it will be living.
i'm not going to shove myself in anyone's face, and that's why i didn't post last night. but i'm not going to apologize for myself unless i do something wrong, and i'm not going to color inside someone else's lines. i am returned, i am real, i am happy. i am unequal to my own powers of description. right now it's more music than words.
the poetry is bleeding out of the walls. you don't even have to write it. you live it.
"so they say another lie:
'love's a rumour but love will die'
we're lost and wandering
deep in the ocean there lies a wave for you . . .
when you hit the ground it's hard to speak
but it's who you are
a shining star
go
tell the millions begin!
we'll run through the fields, the turning of wheels
down with the buildings, worlds on your shoulders
climb through the wasteland
wait for the sky to remind you
these things are true . . ."
this is what i wanted to post in matt's journal and didn't have the guts.