Keep my memories for a while, will you?
Author's notes: Part of the SJM-living-around-the-world AU
(Clearly Eunhyuk is my cathartic avartar)
Keep my memories for a while, will you?
(Row 17,
drawer 2,
the doisser tagged in blue,
for farewells and goodbyes)
Eunhyuk startles when he realises that the person walking towards him, amidst the flow of the afternoon patients and hospital employees, has eyes widened in recognition mirroring his own. There’s a tightening in his chest as his footsteps slow and he lifts a low hand in a gesture of acknowledgment.
He thinks he hears his name being called, but he isn’t sure either, the buzz from the nearby kopitiam muting his sense of sound.
“Haven’t seen you in ages!” comes the age-old greeting between friends, although if one had lost contact for the better half of Eunhyuk’s twenties, would they still be considered as friends?
His first thought is that Siwon has stayed the same, kept his figure well built all these time. The receding hairline cannot be avoided with age, but the sleek upturn hairstyle had worked well with the fitted white business shirt and dark blue pants on Siwon.
Eunhyuk’s second thought is to give his own self a mental lookover.
Casual jeans-check.
Light grey hoodie-check.
As hobo-looking as can be-check.
Mental facepalm-coming up.
Siwon’s smile is cordial and all genial, and yet Eunhyuk feels his own shield materializing in the five-footstep distance separating them. Nothing too personal, nothing too revealing unless asked.
“…And Donghae is getting married next May!” Siwon kindly updates Eunhyuk on his best ski-buddy. Eunhyuk nods, not bothering to add that he had already heard the news from Zhoumi, who was clearly the funnel of information in their group of friends.
It is his cue to pick up the metaphorical threads of conversation as Siwon takes a breath. So Eunhyuk goes, “And when’s your turn?”
“Oh!” Siwon breathes in and exclaims, and somehow Eunhyuk has heard the exact same tonal expression from his recently proclaimed-single friend to know what probably transpired.
Siwon has his arms across his body, fingers touching opposite elbows, and his shoulders ripple with relaxation, as he admits, “We’re not together anymore. We broke up last year…”
Eunhyuk doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he keeps silent. But Siwon catches Eunhyuk’s look, and tumbles his words out after, “…Actually it was… It’s a long story but-“
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.” Eunhyuk immediately replies, picking up on the repeated pauses in Siwon’s words. “It’s not in my place to know the details anyway.”
Relief spreads across Siwon’s face.
(Eunhyuk wonders whether Siwon cares that he
had lost that place to know things a long time ago.)
It’s inevitable that Siwon mentions episodic stories from their shared childhood. Memories that Eunhyuk didn’t know existed trickle back into his prefrontal cortex; blanks in the lego-block wall of childhood now to be filled with second-person perspectives, about how they had defied camp commandant orders and dragged sleeping bags to the main hall instead of the back rooms due to the better ventilation provided.
(Open that box of memories like you don’t care won’t you?)
They finally say goodbye, only after Siwon has checked that he still has Eunhyuk’s contact number in his glossed iPhone6. Eunhyuk fake-punches Siwon’s arm in jest, and feels rejection radiating from Siwon’s body as the latter politely takes a step back.
“Call me, the next time you meet up with Zhoumi, won’t you?” Siwon comments as he slips the phone into his pocket, and straightens his cufflinks unconsciously.
The smile doesn’t reach up to Siwon’s eyes, and Eunhyuk thinks the same is mirrored in his own irises.
(And pretend all is okay in the end.)
“Sure, will do.” Eunhyuk lies back.
(Clearly Eunhyuk is my cathartic avartar)
Keep my memories for a while, will you?
(Row 17,
drawer 2,
the doisser tagged in blue,
for farewells and goodbyes)
Eunhyuk startles when he realises that the person walking towards him, amidst the flow of the afternoon patients and hospital employees, has eyes widened in recognition mirroring his own. There’s a tightening in his chest as his footsteps slow and he lifts a low hand in a gesture of acknowledgment.
He thinks he hears his name being called, but he isn’t sure either, the buzz from the nearby kopitiam muting his sense of sound.
“Haven’t seen you in ages!” comes the age-old greeting between friends, although if one had lost contact for the better half of Eunhyuk’s twenties, would they still be considered as friends?
His first thought is that Siwon has stayed the same, kept his figure well built all these time. The receding hairline cannot be avoided with age, but the sleek upturn hairstyle had worked well with the fitted white business shirt and dark blue pants on Siwon.
Eunhyuk’s second thought is to give his own self a mental lookover.
Casual jeans-check.
Light grey hoodie-check.
As hobo-looking as can be-check.
Mental facepalm-coming up.
Siwon’s smile is cordial and all genial, and yet Eunhyuk feels his own shield materializing in the five-footstep distance separating them. Nothing too personal, nothing too revealing unless asked.
“…And Donghae is getting married next May!” Siwon kindly updates Eunhyuk on his best ski-buddy. Eunhyuk nods, not bothering to add that he had already heard the news from Zhoumi, who was clearly the funnel of information in their group of friends.
It is his cue to pick up the metaphorical threads of conversation as Siwon takes a breath. So Eunhyuk goes, “And when’s your turn?”
“Oh!” Siwon breathes in and exclaims, and somehow Eunhyuk has heard the exact same tonal expression from his recently proclaimed-single friend to know what probably transpired.
Siwon has his arms across his body, fingers touching opposite elbows, and his shoulders ripple with relaxation, as he admits, “We’re not together anymore. We broke up last year…”
Eunhyuk doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he keeps silent. But Siwon catches Eunhyuk’s look, and tumbles his words out after, “…Actually it was… It’s a long story but-“
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.” Eunhyuk immediately replies, picking up on the repeated pauses in Siwon’s words. “It’s not in my place to know the details anyway.”
Relief spreads across Siwon’s face.
(Eunhyuk wonders whether Siwon cares that he
had lost that place to know things a long time ago.)
It’s inevitable that Siwon mentions episodic stories from their shared childhood. Memories that Eunhyuk didn’t know existed trickle back into his prefrontal cortex; blanks in the lego-block wall of childhood now to be filled with second-person perspectives, about how they had defied camp commandant orders and dragged sleeping bags to the main hall instead of the back rooms due to the better ventilation provided.
(Open that box of memories like you don’t care won’t you?)
They finally say goodbye, only after Siwon has checked that he still has Eunhyuk’s contact number in his glossed iPhone6. Eunhyuk fake-punches Siwon’s arm in jest, and feels rejection radiating from Siwon’s body as the latter politely takes a step back.
“Call me, the next time you meet up with Zhoumi, won’t you?” Siwon comments as he slips the phone into his pocket, and straightens his cufflinks unconsciously.
The smile doesn’t reach up to Siwon’s eyes, and Eunhyuk thinks the same is mirrored in his own irises.
(And pretend all is okay in the end.)
“Sure, will do.” Eunhyuk lies back.