(no subject)

[oneinnabun]

I have class for half of Wednesday and all day Thursday and Friday. I was mostly free from the strong pangs of anxiety I normally get for all of class this week. It was amazing. I had a clear head with nothing stopping me from doing stuff for the first time since... I don't even remember, but I think it's been almost a decade. I can't even describe what that's like without making this a very long paragraph. I wouldn't say that I'm cured; I think there's a long way to go still; but there's already been a big change. But I still space out a lot.

I said this in my deviantART journal, but I think, now that it's not as hard to think deeply about things I'm not obsessed with, I'll do stuff for three fandoms: Homestar Runner, Sam & Max, and Phineas and Ferb. I want to finish that Opposites Attract 20X6 rewrite, and be an astronomy nerd all over the outer space parts. Between that, if it's still okay that I'm doing it, the Sam & Max kidfics I'm writing and the slave AU I planned out, and all the Phineas and Ferb ideas I get every week, I'm not exactly running out of ideas.

I'm going to talk about the nerdy things I did on my first full week of being sort of able to not turn my consciousness into a black hole from which nothing can escape. I was still pretty withdrawn, but not as much as usual.

• There's a group thing where we have to make a game in two weeks in XNA, which isn't that hard because XNA has a lot of the framework for game making already. It's a post-apocalyptic time travelling shooter/platformer in space. Yes. The three people in my group who were in class that day came up with ideas separately, then combined them. The time travelling was my idea. The plot involves the sun becoming a red giant a few billion years early because of the evil military or something. This is constantly referred to as a supernova. I mentioned twice that it's not a supernova, but then I felt like I was going on about it.
  
  
• One of the people in my group writes Phineas and Ferb fanfiction. I told him that I'd read one of them and liked it. I didn't say it out of nowhere or anything, it was part of the conversation. He'd mentioned that he writes fanfiction. I wouldn't mind talking to him about it a bit, but he's kind of hard to approach, and I don't want to seem Phineas and Ferb obsessed. I am, and I'll admit it to anyone on- or offline, but I do care about other things. Phineas and Ferb is just my default setting at the moment, and what makes me the happiest. Actually, I'd known about the amazing coincidence of someone my class writing in one of my fandoms for a few months, since I'd ended up on his blog while searching for Phineas and Ferb fanfiction and noticed that he'd done the exact same assignment as me, in the exact same timeframe, but like I said, hard to approach. In fact I was unable to think about approaching anybody during that time without my anxiety increasing to brain melting proportions. It sucked.
  
  
• Brought my sketchbook to class. Drew a bunch of mutilated looking hands, some Perry the Platypuses, and a Homestar Runner. During the group meeting I drew a couple more Perrys in the bottom of my notebook. The first was Perry in pet mode, next to which I wrote Perry! I thought I told the boys to keep you out of my notebook!, and the other was Perry in secret agent mode. Once I'd drawn all of him except his hat, I wrote A biro drawing? Then I added his hat and wrote Perry the biro drawing?! I found this all very amusing, and wrote I'm a dork underneath. The next day I alternated between working on my assignment and copying drawings from my Sam & Max comic book. But mostly doing my assignment.
  
  
• Speaking of my assignment, it involves making a character editor. It's a group assignment, but the character editors are individual. They have to be compatible with each other, so everyone in the group had to work out the variables beforehand. Inspired by the proposed RPG-esque stats, I suggested a lawful/chaotic variable and a good/evil variable. I don't even play Dungeons & Dragons. Then, in the character editor, I made a lawful/chaotic slider and a good/evil slider that displayed the current alignment in big letters, and changed colour depending on the positions of the sliders. None of which was at all necessary, but it was fun to program.
  
  
• The guy who teaches us on Wednesdays and Fridays was practising drawing with a tablet with afternoon, when I heard him say "consummate Vs". I did a startled rabbit impression, and he told me that he liked my Strong Bad beanie, which I was not currently wearing. Also, Joss Whedon was being interviewed on the radio at about that point. They played a few clips from My Freeze Ray from Doctor Horrible. This is basically the most relevant to my interests course ever.
  
  
• Not school related, but I actually looked at the person serving me at McDonalds, which is unusual for me, and she totally looked like Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim. Speaking of Scott Pilgrim, I loved the movie. I saw it twice, once the Tuesday before last with my sister, who works on weekends, and once last Sunday with my brother, who has school on weekdays. It made me excited for the final book all over again.
  
  I'm sure that wasn't very interesting to read, if anybody actually read the whole thing, but I'm excited. See? (points at mood) Excited! ...I really have to finish that mood theme.
  
  Anyway, I think I might soon be able to get on with my life. Finally.