Autumn finds a home in me
I have been really confused lately. All these things are my fault. I hate feeling guilty. Do people require attention? Is that what life is about? The attention that you can get? Because I never really thought I was that kind of person.
I mean, I see people that I use to know and all these feelings come back. Being confused. I was so settled in NY. No conflict. No old ones anyway. When I left my old job, on my last day people came in on their day off to say good-bye to me. And unless they told me that day I would have never known how much I meant to them.
I am just rambling because I think that I am confused and if I knew how to completely articulate how I was feeling, I wouldn't be feeling this way.
It makes me scramble. I makes me feel wanted. Its a feeling that feels good but really makes me feel guilty.
Why can't I talk to people? I mean, jesus. I knew that I wasn't this person. I knew it wasn't me all along, but I did it. I did it for so long, but only because I wasn't here. I AM SUCH A TWO FACED BITCH.
Its not like I am a great looing person, this shit shouldn't even come up. BUt maybe this life is over.
SO, I was thinking, that on a not rainyday, we cold go get some bagles and coffee and then go check out Melrose and then go to 3rd street and eat some good stuffs and look around and then either go to native foods or real food daily. Probably Native Foods though, because that shit is good. How about Nov 25th? Sound good. DAy before my Old Lady day.
I know what this is about now, kinda. Its about me being old.
I mean, I see people that I use to know and all these feelings come back. Being confused. I was so settled in NY. No conflict. No old ones anyway. When I left my old job, on my last day people came in on their day off to say good-bye to me. And unless they told me that day I would have never known how much I meant to them.
I am just rambling because I think that I am confused and if I knew how to completely articulate how I was feeling, I wouldn't be feeling this way.
It makes me scramble. I makes me feel wanted. Its a feeling that feels good but really makes me feel guilty.
Why can't I talk to people? I mean, jesus. I knew that I wasn't this person. I knew it wasn't me all along, but I did it. I did it for so long, but only because I wasn't here. I AM SUCH A TWO FACED BITCH.
Its not like I am a great looing person, this shit shouldn't even come up. BUt maybe this life is over.
SO, I was thinking, that on a not rainyday, we cold go get some bagles and coffee and then go check out Melrose and then go to 3rd street and eat some good stuffs and look around and then either go to native foods or real food daily. Probably Native Foods though, because that shit is good. How about Nov 25th? Sound good. DAy before my Old Lady day.
I know what this is about now, kinda. Its about me being old.