(no subject)
i heard this song last night in the bart station while waiting for my line to go sleep at someone else's house:
I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
----
it really hit a string in my heart. i'm sure i've heard that before, but i never really listened to it. it's just a pop song: if played enough you tune them out. but this time i heard every word and i felt so stupid sitting on muni trying to press back tears that i'm sure would have loved to point out how sappy i am to all of the san francisco muni riders...although i'm sure they're used to that and worse.
at any rate. i don't really want to talk about it now that i've typed it out.
like my gram says: positive thinking.
i have a decent job and perhaps an in on a nice apartment with a good friend (that's a longshot) then i have a year to get my shit together and figure it out. and i will.
and eventually, this damned splinter in my finger will come out.
I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
----
it really hit a string in my heart. i'm sure i've heard that before, but i never really listened to it. it's just a pop song: if played enough you tune them out. but this time i heard every word and i felt so stupid sitting on muni trying to press back tears that i'm sure would have loved to point out how sappy i am to all of the san francisco muni riders...although i'm sure they're used to that and worse.
at any rate. i don't really want to talk about it now that i've typed it out.
like my gram says: positive thinking.
i have a decent job and perhaps an in on a nice apartment with a good friend (that's a longshot) then i have a year to get my shit together and figure it out. and i will.
and eventually, this damned splinter in my finger will come out.