memories are a dime a dozen, but sometimes you find a diamond in the rough
I'm a bit down in the dumps at the moment. I'm not sure what really possessed me to start thinking about him tonight. I guess it's just that time of year.
When I first moved to Round Rock in 2nd grade, I had a few friends. I was a total tomboy so the girl friends were few and far between. I had a few girls I talked to, but I didn't do the dresses and the pretty bows. I made friends with the boys much easier than the girls. It's always been my way.
John and I clicked instantly when we were in the same home room class. He always made me laugh. We lived only a few streets apart, so we were together a lot after school and on weekends. Of course, he was the start of my fickle boy crushes. He played soccer and was extremely smart. I remember chasing him around the playground and he would flash me his grin and there was nothing I could do but let my heart melt. Even then, I knew this boy was going to a hard one to shake.
In 4th grade, my life fell completely apart. It was the first time I would experience utter and total loss.
I remember him inviting me out to go fishing with his Dad and uncle. He was so excited to be going out on the lake. Unfortunately, for me, I couldn't go as it was my 10 yr birthday and had planned a slumber party. Truth be told, I would have given it all up to be with him on the lake fishing. I came to school that Monday and faced an empty desk. I figured maybe John was sick or still out of town. Then, Mrs. Dittmeyer came into our class and sat down very quietly. I asked what was going on with John and she just started crying. Sometimes you just know when your life is never going to be the same again. That, was my moment. She told us that there had been an accident. That John and his family were missing. They had found the boat and they were searching all over the weekend, but they weren't able to find anything. Though they were hoping that they would find them alive, the outlook wasn't good. There is nothing like losing your best friend and the boy you love (which in 4th grade, was a HUGE deal) all just days after your birthday. A few weeks later, a fisherman at Granger Lake Park pulled up John's body. A month later, they found his dad, uncle and dog. I have NEVER gone to Granger Lake Park. I will NEVER go to Granger Lake Park.
We held a memorial for John on the school grounds. We planted a tree with a plaque in his honor. My teacher and John's mom asked that I put in the dirt as he and I had been such good friends. It was seriously the scariest thing I had ever done. I cried for hours in school that day. That evening I made my mom bake some cookies and I rode my bike to John's house and visited with his mom. She told me how much he had cared about me and that she thought I had been an amazing friend. At ten years old, I was more worried about her than myself, or maybe it was just easier to focus on taking her pain away for a short time than have to actually deal with mine.
The tree is still growing at the school. I still go from time to time and pay my respects and just talk to him. The hardest part is looking at the plaque and seeing that he died on my birthday. The pain and hurt I had to deal with then were more than anyone should have to go through at that age. But, I had his memories and I still have his smile.
When I first moved to Round Rock in 2nd grade, I had a few friends. I was a total tomboy so the girl friends were few and far between. I had a few girls I talked to, but I didn't do the dresses and the pretty bows. I made friends with the boys much easier than the girls. It's always been my way.
John and I clicked instantly when we were in the same home room class. He always made me laugh. We lived only a few streets apart, so we were together a lot after school and on weekends. Of course, he was the start of my fickle boy crushes. He played soccer and was extremely smart. I remember chasing him around the playground and he would flash me his grin and there was nothing I could do but let my heart melt. Even then, I knew this boy was going to a hard one to shake.
In 4th grade, my life fell completely apart. It was the first time I would experience utter and total loss.
I remember him inviting me out to go fishing with his Dad and uncle. He was so excited to be going out on the lake. Unfortunately, for me, I couldn't go as it was my 10 yr birthday and had planned a slumber party. Truth be told, I would have given it all up to be with him on the lake fishing. I came to school that Monday and faced an empty desk. I figured maybe John was sick or still out of town. Then, Mrs. Dittmeyer came into our class and sat down very quietly. I asked what was going on with John and she just started crying. Sometimes you just know when your life is never going to be the same again. That, was my moment. She told us that there had been an accident. That John and his family were missing. They had found the boat and they were searching all over the weekend, but they weren't able to find anything. Though they were hoping that they would find them alive, the outlook wasn't good. There is nothing like losing your best friend and the boy you love (which in 4th grade, was a HUGE deal) all just days after your birthday. A few weeks later, a fisherman at Granger Lake Park pulled up John's body. A month later, they found his dad, uncle and dog. I have NEVER gone to Granger Lake Park. I will NEVER go to Granger Lake Park.
We held a memorial for John on the school grounds. We planted a tree with a plaque in his honor. My teacher and John's mom asked that I put in the dirt as he and I had been such good friends. It was seriously the scariest thing I had ever done. I cried for hours in school that day. That evening I made my mom bake some cookies and I rode my bike to John's house and visited with his mom. She told me how much he had cared about me and that she thought I had been an amazing friend. At ten years old, I was more worried about her than myself, or maybe it was just easier to focus on taking her pain away for a short time than have to actually deal with mine.
The tree is still growing at the school. I still go from time to time and pay my respects and just talk to him. The hardest part is looking at the plaque and seeing that he died on my birthday. The pain and hurt I had to deal with then were more than anyone should have to go through at that age. But, I had his memories and I still have his smile.